the baby belly is still holding on...

Here's baby Nutmeg at full-term (and three days)!

About a week ago I experienced severe anxiety about this whole baby thing. On one day in particular I threw myself on the bed and sobbed "why on earth did we think it was a good idea to have another baby so soon?" That was a very "down" moment. It's kind of hard to "get out of" a pregnancy (in my opinion, it shouldn't even be an option), which made me feel even more desperate about the whole situation. Almost as soon as I had thought it, I realized how selfish I was being. Thankfully, God's been working on my heart ever so gently in the last few days and I am now, once again, completely joyful about being the vessel through which God's going to bring another little person into the world.

I'm really trying to be nonchalant about this whole labour/birth thing. It's getting harder and harder to keep myself from being "jumpy" about every little pain or new sensation. I like to think that things will start soon, but I have a feeling Nutmeg has different plans. No one really knows what specifically signals labour to start - baby? mommy? outside circumstances? - but every expectant mother likes to think she can have something to do with it. If I had my way, Nutmeg would arrive (or begin some seriously undeniable efforts to arrive) on July 6th. This is most definitely wishful thinking. I think I'm just going to pray for patience and endurance as the summer heats up and wears on. I'm also going to pray that we will get hydro electricity - and soon.