"just keep coming back to me"

I sit here, staring at a blank screen. My fingers are hovering above the keyboard, but I can't think of a single word to type. I wonder why I feel so uninspired to write as of late. Is it because I haven't been thinking about much lately? Is it because my life is not interesting? Is it because God isn't teaching anything?

I can confidently say NO to all of those questions. I think the biggest problem is that there is simply too much on my mind. I have a history of anxiety issues that stem from over-thinking things, coming to conclusions that have no basis in reality, and worrying about anything and everything that could happen in the future. It made me lose weight in high school (in a very un-healthy way, of course), gave me shooting pain in my stomach and my head, and it's been partially to blame for how breastfeeding our first son didn't work so well. Even now, I find that I am nowhere close to being free of this horrible struggle.

It's hard to blog when all that consumes your thoughts is a series of "woe-is-me"s, "what-if"s, and "oh-dear-oh-dear"s. I have been trying very hard to remember that I can cast all my cares upon my Lord. He cares for me. I find that it helps to be honest with my husband and request that he make petition to God on my behalf. I really do trust my husband very much - I know that he takes good care of me. When he prays over me, somehow the pressure of my anxieties lifts in a much more noticeable way than if I just pray on my own. 

Instead of unloading what's weighing me down on you, I will list the good in my current circumstances (not that anything in particular is really wrong right now): God is good, I am blessed, my boys are healthy, I love my husband, I miss my family, I love our church, our home is cozy, we have all we need. 

Indeed, there is much to be thankful for!