filling the quiver

I am pregnant again.

The whole world knows it by now. Baby is still very, very new (nine-weeks-new), but very, very alive. I know it's "traditional" to wait until something like 12 weeks to announce that one is pregnant, but we could not contain our happiness and simply had to share it with the ones we love. Also, it's not like I am any more pregnant at three months than I was at two. A baby is a baby is a baby - just conceived, nine months gestation, or just born. There is a tiny, grape-sized human being inside my womb!

Finding out we were pregnant was different this time than either of the others. We were undecided about when the "right" time to get pregnant again would be. Our long-term goals are to save money to go to Bible college, and somehow we just couldn't fit "have baby" on the list of things we want to accomplish. It's not that we didn't want another child, just that it's a serious thing worth some serious consideration. It's hard to plan out one's life - and experience has taught me that it is best to let God direct it, anyways.

I bought a pregnancy test because my cycle seemed to be quite irregular. Actually, it was my third test in as many months. I took it looking for confirmation that something was not working properly with my cycle... 

...except...

...this time it read a flaming POSITIVE! (There were no actual flames.)

Friends, I cried. I balled. I burst out in uncontrollable sputterings of JOY! I have not had that reaction with either of my boys - mostly because I was so extremely prepared for the end result of a + b = c. But this time? This time I was fully, unbelievably, inexplicably surprised.

When I think on the months to come, there are some things that scare me. I don't know what my prenatal care will be like in a new city with a new doctor and (sob) no midwife. I don't know what this pregnancy will be like - whether it will stretch an extra two weeks, or whether baby will want out like BAM. I will have to travel to a hospital an hour away to give birth, and that is a little disconcerting when I am on my third baby. I do not know how it will be to provide financially for three children. I do not know what it will be like to provide emotionally and physically for three children.

What I DO know is that none of this has surprised God. I know I can look to him, rest in Him, lean on Him for the strength to do all that He has called me to do. I know that I will have my family close by (aka living ONE FLOOR AWAY) and many, many friends (with many, many littles!) for support and encouragement. I know that the blessings of having children FAR outweighs the momentary, light afflictions one must endure before they are born.

All of this joy has been tempered by some very difficult news, however. A good friend of ours has just been informed that she has a large growth in one of her lungs. It's been affecting her health for quite some time. She is in the long process of going through tests to properly identify what she's dealing with. Please, please pray for this family. She has a husband and four girls from ages 8-14. I don't know all of the details and all I can ask you to do is pray for God's peace, for wisdom for the doctors, for the grace to understand why this is happening (especially for the girls). 

God gives and takes away, and yet in it all His name is blessed. He brings glory to Himself, and he works all things together for good - not necessarily the "good" that we desire, but the true good that only the all-knowing, all-powerful God knows, understands, and desires for His children. 

I just know that through all of this - new life, the upcoming move, a friend's sickness - that Christ's name will be praised. That is the best hope that I can have.