I never thought I'd be where I am today.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I had a thousand different plans for my life and somehow I ended up where I least expected to be.  I always knew that I wanted to get married - and married young.  And, somewhere around the age of 17, I felt a calling to be a wife and a mom.  Out of all of the numerous courses my life could have gone, God chose one specific one that was the best for me would bring Him the most glory. 


I hoped, but never put much stock on my dreams actually coming to reality.  More often than not I have come to that crossroads where I realize that my dreams are not what God is calling me to do.  Instead of actively pursuing what I thought I should be doing with my life, I waited on the Lord.  I enrolled myself in Bible College and immersed myself in learning His Word.  Although one would reason that Bible college is the best place for a young Christian to be, God surprised me by leading Joey to propose to me.  I finished only one year of college (instead of the full three or four) and nervously awaited starting my life as a wife, wishing I could know exactly what that life would look like.

That was two years ago today.  TWO. YEARS!  I can hardly believe it.  In some ways, it feels like yesterday.  In others, it feels like it was ages ago.  I mean, we've lived in 4 different "houses" (I'd rather not get into that at this moment), our son is almost ELEVEN months old, and I'm almost 4 months pregnant.  Who knew we'd "accomplish" so much in our first two years of marital bliss?

God knew.  Oh, I am so thankful that He knew, that He knows.

My husband is pretty much my second self--not because he's like me and oh I get so much more done in the day when there's TWO of me!  No, he's still his own person.  But that person is so intwined in who I am.  He is my other half - the counterweight to my argumentative, easily offended nature.  He is God's gift to me - a mirror to hold out to myself.  He is the one on whom I am to dote all the days of my life.  He is the amazing father that I always thought he would be, and that's something I get to observe and enjoy daily.  He means more to me than any other person in the world.  He is my best friend.

I'm assuming that no one really wants to hear the plethora of mushy things I could add to this post.  But it is our anniversary, this is my blog, and it is a rather momentous occasion - and therefore it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to refrain from providing you with some sort of reading material on this day.  You know, just so I can look back on it some day in the future and reminisce.  


And, on that note, I'll spare you the novel I could right.

wordless wednesday

growing

It's a day early, but I'm pretty sure it'll look exactly like this tomorrow.  

And, look, you can still see my feet! 

surprise! he's cute!

The Cuteness is so fun these days.

He scrunches up his nose like a little piggy and "snorts" when he really wants to get a smile out of ye olde parents.  Building on that skill, I have been teaching him to make the sound of the letter "j".  He now says (on occasion) "ju" while making a very prominent "o" shape with his lips (that also makes him look like a little piggy).  Seeing how he has "da" down pat, I'm predicting that "judah" will be his first word.  He's pretty much brilliant.

He is also quite good at shaking his head "no".  He struggles to resist doing it at all times, for he finds it very fun.  But when I sternly tell him "noooo" to something, he'll often look at that thing and shake his head firmly, then walk (with the assistance of various objects) away.

Right now he is lying on a pillow on the floor.  It is soft and he can flop down on it safely.  He is discovering that it is FUN to cuddle (yay for me! the incessant cuddler!) and takes many opportunities to collapse into my arms.  It is not fun, however, to have arms around you holding you back.

It is also fun to go SPLAT on the floor while crawling.  Nothing can predict this turn of events.  He'll be crawling along happily one moment, and then the next throw his knees and arms out from under him and giggle at his sheer brilliance.

Making as many noises as possible with his little lungs and mouth is also quite entertaining.  He clicks, he smacks, he kisses, he squawks, he jibbers, he jabbers, he oodle-doodles, he dada's, he "haaaaaloooows", but he WILL. NOT. mama.  *tear.  I'm sure it will come, yes?

Speaking of things to come, he has not yet taken his first steps.  He can walk along quite happily while holding just one of my hands, but that confidence shatters as soon as I let go.  He's still in the "crawling is faster! crawling is faster! crawling is FAST.ER." phase, and thus learning a new skill seems absolutely  unnecessary.  Joey thinks it will happen this month (which is quickly shrinking away), and I've got dibs for next month.  Just watch - he'll probably be one of those determined ones that doesn't feel the need to try until he's 18 months old.  Whatevs.

My little piggy is still being swaddled when he goes to sleep.  This began when he learned to stand in his crib, and I've been a bit hesitant to release him from his bounds.  He gets out of them on his own anyways, and I kind of think he doesn't mind the security a good swaddle provides.  It's winter (and drafty!), so the extra warmth isn't minded.

He is currently ripping apart and consuming a receipt from Sobeys.  I really meant to keep that.  I'd better stop him before it disappears and I find it... ahem... later, if you know what I mean.

granted the mysteries

As I was reading this morning, it dawned on me that the very fact that I know God and understand such things as His holiness,  my inborn and undeniable nature of sin, who Christ is and why it was necessary for Him to die for my sins is an amazing gift of grace that I do not deserve and could never earn.  I realized that I should be praising God every day simply because He has chosen to impart such wisdom and insight to me.  That is no small thing!

Many men and women desire to be wise and learn all they can about philosophy and religion and how to "better" themselves, and yet their eyes are never opened and their ears never hear despite their great wealth of worldly wisdom.  Few people understand just what "God is holy" means, few acknowledge their sinful nature, and few really know the importance of Christ.  These are foreign concepts to the majority of the world.

Jesus makes it undeniably clear how blessed those that understand such things are in Matthew 13 - the beginning of His parables.  To His disciples He said, "To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted... ...But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your hears, because they hear.  For truly I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not se it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it" (Mt 13:11,16-17).

Here we are, with the full word of God at our disposal - the very mysteries of God written down for all the world to see - and still people do not see nor hear.  God, and only God, can reveal these things to the human heart.  Thus I see all the more that I am blessed beyond comprehension and in the presence of an Almighty God who has bestowed grace on one so underserving as I.

he was trying to tell me something

when he crawled in there all by himself...

... but what could it have been?

I guess I'll never know.

Psalm 39

 I said, "I will guard my ways
 That I may not sin with my tongue;
 I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle
 While the wicked are in my presence."

 I was mute and silent,
 I refrained even from good,
 And my sorrow grew worse.

 My heart was hot within me,
 While I was musing the fire burned;
 Then I spoke with my tongue:

"Lord, make me to know my end
 And what is the extent of my days;
 Let me know how transient I am.

"Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
 And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
 Surely every man at his best is a mere breath.

"Surely every man walks about as a phantom;
 Surely they make an uproar for nothing;
 He amasses riches and does not know who will gather them.

"And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.
 Deliver me from all my transgressions.
 Make me not the reproach of the foolish.

"I have become mute, I do no open my mouth,
 Because it is You who have done it.

"Remove Your plague from me;
 Because of the opposition of Your hand I am perishing.

"With reproofs You chasten a man for iniquity;
 You consume as a moth what is precious to him;
 Surely every man is a mere breath.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry;
 Do not be silent at my tears;
 For I am a stranger with You, a sojourner like all my fathers.

"Turn Your gaze away from me, that I may smile again
 Before I depart and am no more."