It has been a very long time... As the Christmas season gains momentum and the semester winds down, I find myself 47 days away from marrying the man of my dreams. There are moments where I sit in a stunned state of nervousness, wondering at what the future will hold for me. I know three things: I will be married to Joey, we will live in Winnipeg, and I will have a job. Questions plague me--what will it be like to be married? What kind of job will I have? When will I have a family of my own? What will God have for us to do? There are so many unknowns in my life! How can one possibly expect me to be calm at a time like this?
Like a rogue gust of wind on a calm day God speaks light into my darkness: Cease striving and know that I AM GOD.
I protest, I stutter, I complain. "I NEED to know what's happening! I NEED to plan things out!"
Cease striving.
Oh, why does this have to be so difficult? I have planned my life ever since I was a little girl, and now I don't even know what is going to happen two months from now! I can't do this on my own... I must get a handle on all of this... I should... I'll try... I need... I... I... I...
CEASE.
I trust You.
You are God.
My life is in Your hands.
I stopped planning my life, I know that I have to have faith, and it will be all right. He has a plan for everyone.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, your blog brought me back to my engagement days in Winnipeg, nearly 20 years ago - the excitement, the anticipation, and learning to trust God by being patient. Thanks for taking me back there!
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