when we are weak, He is strong

There is a new feeling of helplessness that comes when your babies get sick. My immediate reaction is to ask what did I do wrong? The thing is that people get sick. It's a fact. It's nearly impossible to prevent toddlers from contracting some form of bug at some point or other, what with runny noses, sneezing into the open air, church play rooms, and other toddlers running amok. It's bound to happen some time.

Judah is most definitely sick. He's running a fever of 38.5 (he's normally around 36), he is very flushed, he has no appetite, and all he wants to do is lay in the middle of the floor on his tummy with his hands tucked underneath him. My poor boy! I would gladly take the sickness onto myself just to save him the pain. I miss his goofy grins, his seemingly sophisticated gibberish, and the mess of toys he spreads all over the house in mere seconds. I also want to spend all day holding him close, but there's another little one who also needs that attention - at least every 2-3 hours. Enter the feeling of helplessness. I can't make him feel better, I can't make the sickness go away, and I can't love on both of my babies the way they need it at once. Boo.

All I can do is trust that God is taking much better care of these little ones than I. It seems silly, but something like my babies getting sick tempts me to lose faith in God's sovereignty over all things. I can't let that happen. I know God is good. I know He does not abandon His children. I know this sickness has not escaped His notice. I know that I am dust and that He is GOD. It's time I start trusting Him with my babies.