full.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and watching the sun make it's gradual ascent, changing from pinky-orange, to yellow, to bright white. There's been a lot on my mind lately. The other day God revealed to me (all over again!) how great a salvation he has given me. I am awed by Jesus, fully man and fully God, who came to earth to be the suffering servant that would take away the sin of the world. He was mistreated, misunderstood, and abused for my sake. And yet, He went willingly. He died a gruesome death on a Roman cross and was buried in a rich man's tomb. Death's work was complete. And then, when all hope seemed lost, God raised Him from the dead. He was the perfect Lamb without blemish, offered for the sins of people who could not escape their own sin-nature, their own bent to oppose God. He came to the world to liberate all of mankind from the wages of sin - not just God's chosen people, the Jews, but all who would believe in His name. And, although what God accomplished in raising Him from the dead was not hidden from anyone's site, many refused to believe. Many still refuse to believe. Many would rather stay enslaved to their own sinful passions rather than embrace the Holy God who demands perfection, knows His people cannot attain it, and sent His Son to be perfection for them. His righteous requirements are filled in Him - in Jesus the Christ. Praise be to God! His name is majestic in all the earth!

I've been painfully aware of my shortcomings as a parent as of late. Before God was gracious to me and revealed how I had been rejecting His Son, I would get so overwhelmed by my bent to sin, my desire to lash out when things aren't going my way. I would not - could not - make myself trust in Christ's payment for my sin and rise above the mundane. Now that my eyes have been opened (again), I'm finding I can confess my sinful heart to God before I have sinned outwardly. "Lord, I know that every intent of my heart is only evil continually, and I thank you that Jesus's righteousness has been substituted for my own unrighteousness. Help me now to live as though I am not enslaved to sin, for it is no longer I that live but Christ who lives in me. Help me to live obediently as a service to you and an outpouring of my unending gratitude." In this way, I no longer trust in my own strength to bring God glory as a mother, but in Christ's strength through me.

See? My mind and heart are full. Thank you, Jesus!