After a refreshing internet break, I am back. Well, sort of back. I’m only on the internet because I need to email some camp shirt designs to our printer. But, since my internet is deathly slow and the upload will take DAYS (that might be an exaggeration), I figured I’d take the opportunity to write a short update.
Things in this crazy house have been, well, crazy lately. At the urging of my husband, my friend, and my mom, I went on a women’s retreat a couple of weekends ago. Judah was doted on by 20 different ladies the whole time, and HE LOVED IT. He handled the trip way better than I expected—and by that I mean that he went to sleep without fussing every time I put him down, he slept all through the night, and he was even happy to let people other than myself hold him. I really felt like we turned a corner in this little gaffer’s career. Things were looking up.
Or so I thought.
How’s that for an ominous overtone?
Judah has not been weighed in 4-5 weeks. We just assumed that he was doing well because of how happy he’s been lately. I mean, come on, a smiling baby is a healthy baby, right? And those 0-3 month sleepers? Yeah, they’re totally becoming yesterday’s news. Things MUST be going well.
God orchestrated a timely appointment for my baby boy.
Our public health nurse phoned me up two days ago and requested that Judah come in for a weight check. Because we are without a scale (except for the Wii fit, which hasn’t seemed too appealing of a pastime lately), I was happy to drive to MacGregor for the check-up.
Things were going well. PHN was pleased with his interaction, his habits seemed normal, and, let’s face it, he just looks so happy! We stripped him down to his birthday suit (sorry, bud) and set him on the scale. I was busily cleaning up his soiled diaper when I heard it:
“You weigh 10 pounds, 1 ounce!”
“Uh…” ahem ahem, “that’s, uh, less than he was before. Yeah. Uh, 11 ounces less than he was 5 weeks ago.” My mother’s heart was going pitter-patter, letmetellyou. How could my baby have dropped weight? Isn’t he supposed to be growing? What in the world am I doing wrong? IS HE GOING TO DIE?!?!?
Things are so much scarier when you’re a new mom.
PHN informed me that I have not been feeding my baby enough. Ouch. That’s a blow. I feel like I have been starving my baby. I haven’t, I swear. I’ve tried so hard to set up routine for baby, to make sure he has good long feeding times, and to get him to sleep so he gets lots and lots of z’s. And now I find out that my best just isn’t good enough.
So, now we’ve had to completely rearrange our schedule, which means later bed times and earlier mornings in order to accommodate more feedings in a day. The first day was hard—my body was used to being on a 3 hour schedule, NOT a 2.5 hour schedule. There were many frantic baby moments that day. And many frantic mommy moments.
It’s not going too bad now, but I’m afraid, so afraid, that my baby is still dropping. I am finding it very difficult to trust in God when I see my tiny little son suffer. One more week of not gaining weight, and he will have that wonderful label tacked on him: failure to thrive. No, not my baby!
I know that having a baby is the biggest test of faith that God has ever sent my way. I praise Him for baby daily, which means that I should also trust baby with Him daily. I am praying that God gives me the strength, and praying that my baby boy continues to grow—to grow into a man of God.
I’ll keep you up-to-date on his well-being.
0 comments:
Post a Comment