I promise that this will make sense

I don't even have words today, and I'm not quite sure if that's because I have been diligently studying the language of BEBE or not.  Whatever the case, my attempts to communicate my thoughts have NOT been successful as of late.  I feel like I'm being misunderstood the majority of the time,
which happens to be the thing that bothers me the most (being misunderstood, that is).  But, this blog is in desperate need of an update, and I'm gonna post if it kills me.

I bet you never knew blogging was so dangerous.

God's been teaching me something astounding.  I thought I knew it before, but I think I was only vaguely aware of this truth.  Have you ever experienced that?  You know, at least in your brain, something about God from the Bible or a friend (etc.), but then, one day, God decides to teach it to you Himself.  Then you realize that you never actually knew it before.  Not really.  Nope.

Andrea, what are you getting at???

Shhh, I'm about to tell you.

Here it is: God is love.  

Isn't that amazing?  Unless God has actually decided to teach you that lesson with His very own leading, then I don't think you actually understand.  Oh, you think you do.  Like I did.  But now?  Oh, WOW, I'm blown away.

For years God has been teaching me that He is sovereign.  That He wants perfection of His children.  And I got it!  I understood and have striven to please my Lord.  But now He has impressed a different truth on my heart, and that is grace.  He's only begun to teach me, but I am very eager to learn.  I want to know what statements like this mean:

"Truth becomes hard if not softened by love; love becomes soft if not strengthened by truth."

I want God to show me how I can be a genuine child of His and not a pretending pharisee.  At first, I was almost heart-broken when I realized that I do not understand God' love.  But now?  Now I'm excited to see how God is going to teach me.  Above all else, I want to be like Christ.

So, there you have it.  I don't know if any of that is going to make sense to anyone, but it just had to come out.