I wrote this post over 4 years ago.  It touched my heart today.

There is something so precious, so mysterious about the love of Christ. Something that goes beyond the areas of understanding, calls to a part much deeper than the soul. It consumes, protects, and wipes all notions of doubt from our little minds. It's greater than faith, greater than hope. And still I hear it calling... deeper... deeper. Come to me. Find peace. Find rest for your soul. Come to me...

Those words may forever ring in my head, an endless cycle that never becomes old. It's always fresh, always a mystery. How can I know this love? How can I rest at ease if I have not explored every corner, every fold of this Majesty?

It's a journey that my flesh does not want to take. After all, I'm human, and what human can let a mystery lie unsolved? You see it in our world. TV shows of investigation, conclusion, justice. Scientists making leaps and bounds in yet another unexplored aspect of life. Information chanels, biographies, the news. We need to know. And I think that knowledge is our downfall.

But this isn't about us. This can never be about us. Love is about Christ. Love is Christ. And, this mystery, beautiful and foreign, is one that will never be solved until we bow before the throne of Christ. Until that day, I will seek to know more of this mystery as Christ has sought for me.

of creation

home tour

{tv trays scream elegance, do they not?}

{no, you cannot have our green stove}

{don't be fooled by the cactus. it's dead.}

{sheba has her own little corner}

{the bed has not been made as nice since the cuteness came along}

{all for the cuteness}

my boys

I had forgotten what it was like

to grow up in my household—“household” meaning my dad, my mom, and myself.  Oh, and don’t forget the cat.  I am surprised that I even survived. 

Here is a sample of my family’s craziness:

My dad discovered  GarageBand for the first time this morning.  In the midst of his throat-gurgling, falsetto-slaughtering hilarity, my mom walks out of the bedroom, wieners curls and all, and cries, “Harley, you sound like Sesame Street on crack!”

The sad thing was that it was true.

Oh, how I love my family.  I hope that Judah learns to be as laid-back and jovial as my parents are.  Really, being serious is seriously boring.  I wouldn’t trade my memories of my perfectly composed wild dancing dad and my docile and serene practical joking mom for anything.  And I don’t think I'm really THAT strange because of it.  (You don’t have to comment on that.)

---

{Judah update}

After much deliberation, Joey and I decided to go ahead and buy a manual breast pump. Ohmyword what a good idea that was!  Make what jokes you will about me being a human cow, but this little gizmo is revolutionizing our feeding process, letmetellyou!

For example:

• we didn’t have to stop to breastfeed our baby on our trip to Weyburn
• I actually KNOW that Judah is getting enough to eat
• Joey gets to share in the joy of feeding our child
• AND I’m increasing my milk supply!

All around, this is a superb change of events for us.  We are looking forward to next week’s check-up.  Keep praying! 

I leave you with a picture of my handsome husby and his charming little munchkin. 

drum-roll, please

Okay, everyone, Judah gets weighed today.  Thanks to those who have prayed.  I'm anxious--I definitely want to see a bigger number today!  Joey and I think he's chubbed up somewhat, but I don't know if we see it because it's actually there, or because that's what we desire most in the world right now.  I'll keep you posted.

----
{update}
The results are better, but still not the best.  He only gained 3 ounces (but I don't necessarily trust the scale), which is about half of what he should be gaining.  Now I have to actually devote 99% of my time to breast feeding.  As in my baby, who takes 1 hour to eat, needs to be fed every 2 hours.  And nap times need to fit in there somehow.  And I won't let myself nurse him to sleep.  And he needs time to be stimulated by yours truly.  So, I hope husby is willing to cook and be content with myriads of dust-bunnies dust-cats, because life is nearly going to go on hold for a little while.

You know what? I'm starting to get really worn down by the bajillion different "proper" ways to raise my child.  I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore.

The scary thing is that I'm starting to lose faith. I don't want that.  I want to keep trusting God because I am convinced that He is the only one that actually knows the perfect parenting process.  I need to trust in Him continually.

Prayers appreciated.

judah's bane

I admit that my last post was a little bit melancholy. 

To lighten the mood, I will share with you the Cute, the Fun, and the Sleepy.

{the Cute}

{the Fun}

{the Sleepy}

{Oh, and the WhyIOtta}