I want to share some of it with you.

{if you look closely you'll see that I caught him in some spit-up action}

{although his NEW BUMBO SEAT is exciting, his fist is more-so} 

That is all.

hopefully the last update I'll feel compelled to give

We just got back from the clinic.  The results? Judah has gained 9 ounces in as many days (so that would make him 10 lb 13 oz).  That is exactly what he should gain, praise the Lord.  Thanks for praying, guys.

I just looked over to see the Cuteness smiling in his sleep.  He (finally) fell asleep in the car, and I'm not waking him up for the world.  So, yes, that means he's slumbering safely buckled into his car seat.  Hey, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do, yes?

I am so emotionally drained.  It was such a rough morning.  The Cuteness got so worked up over everything - even taking a bath.  Sometimes I wish he was just a teensy bit  older so that I could tell him that mommy's here, everything is going to be all right!  and it would actually make things better.  At this point he's just inconsolable.  I'm sure it's just a phase?

Oh, and the mommy got so worked up over everything.  I may have gently squeezed frantically pounded a couple pillows flat this morning.  But, hey, don't worry, God used those extremely low moments to bring  me to a point of submission, confession, and repentance.  Sometimes it takes a lot to get through to me, I tell ya.

So, yes. Things are going better.  Apparently my methods are still "too textbook".   Or are they not "textbook"?  Which textbook am I supposed to use, anyways?  Now that I know the Cuteness is finally getting enough, I need to find ways to, you know, have time in the day.  As it is I feed him for an hour, entertain him for 15 minutes, and then attempt to put him to bed for 45 minutes (and usually fail).  Lather, rinse Repeat.  THAT is why I only get around to washing diapers when there is only one diaper left.  THAT is why my house looks the way it does.  But I'm willing to stick with it if that's what it takes to keep this little guy healthy.  

Ahhh... sweet silence.  Too bad I have to ruin it by switching over a load of laundry.

short on words

I cannot express to you, readers, just how much I have been impacted by the support I’ve been shown by you.  Every email, every message, every conversation has blessed me so much.  Our God is a god who hears—and His people have been praying.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Whatever the results are today, I know God is faithful.  And, like many of you have said, formula isn’t the end of all things.  I’m pretty sure that Judah’s been getting more food than before, but if he hasn’t been, it’s not my failure as a mother.

Your words have set me straight

If, at any time, you would like to send me a message that doesn’t appear in the “comments” section, please use the “contact” tab above.  Your message will get to me directly, and I will respond directly. 

Our God is awesome.  He is faithful.  He is just.  And He gives good gifts to His children—though sometimes the packaging bewilders us.

Only by faith,
Andrea Sawatzky

we're expecting a big one, folks

The Baby Weight Saga continues...

I am just a teensy bit nervous about the Cuteness' weigh-in tomorrow.  It's hard to get an exact reading on a household scale (we're talking ounces here, people), but I have reason to believe that Judah has passed the 11 pound mark.  If that is the case, then he has gained at least 12 ounces in 10 days - which is exactly what he should be gaining!  Please pray... I don't think I can handle much more of this guessing game.  Like, seriously, my nerves are on end.  I'm one cry short of pumping my baby full of formula at any given moment in the day, and if he has any trouble latching on, it feels like the end of the world.  I definitely anticipated this whole parenting thing to be a stretch, but breastfeeding?  Isn't that kind of what women were designed for?

Sigh... I know we'll get through this.  God has led us thus far, and He's not really the type to, you know, abandon those He's leading.  Do you want to know how you can pray for me?  Don't pray that BAM! everything is all hunky-dorey.  Pray that I would have faith in the One who has orchestrated it all.  

I'm much obliged to ya.

Update tomorrow!

a shift in the wrong direction

A couple of days ago I spent some time reading through my oldest blog posts.  It was like flipping through the pages of my life, stopping to say hi to old friends, and seeing just how much I've changed over the last four years.  Yes, that's right, this blog is over four years old.  I could've done some big Four Year Anniversary Extravaganza, but, seeing as it fell somewhere in my two weeks of "overdue", I am happy to excuse myself.

During my perusing I noticed something a little grievous: this blog has slowly turned from being God-centered to self-centered.  I used to view it as another avenue in which to proclaim and testify what God Almighty has done in my life, but now I find that I really only want to broadcast me. My life. Period.  My friends, I've done you a disservice.

THE MOST important thing about me isn't me at all - it's the Lord.  He has been gracious to me, shown me favour, and endowed me with an ability to use words to proclaim His Name.  He has saved me, and what he requires of me is that I should tell the world about Him.

I am sorry, dear readers, for not holding to this calling. 

Don't get me wrong - I still plan on using my daily life for inspiration in my posts.  They will just be tempered by the knowledge that I am a sinner deserving death, yet I have received life through Christ.

To God be the glory.

a spring break

When you work at a summer camp a pre-craziness rest is always a good idea.  We took ours this last weekend in Weyburn.  Gamma and Gampa spent some good quality time with their grandbaby, we got some rest, and Judah was as cute as ever.  See?

{the cuteness is dandled}

{the cuteness makes faces}

{the cuteness hugs Sophie}

{the cuteness plays games}

{a savior's love} repost

I wrote this post over 4 years ago.  It touched my heart today.

There is something so precious, so mysterious about the love of Christ. Something that goes beyond the areas of understanding, calls to a part much deeper than the soul. It consumes, protects, and wipes all notions of doubt from our little minds. It's greater than faith, greater than hope. And still I hear it calling... deeper... deeper. Come to me. Find peace. Find rest for your soul. Come to me...

Those words may forever ring in my head, an endless cycle that never becomes old. It's always fresh, always a mystery. How can I know this love? How can I rest at ease if I have not explored every corner, every fold of this Majesty?

It's a journey that my flesh does not want to take. After all, I'm human, and what human can let a mystery lie unsolved? You see it in our world. TV shows of investigation, conclusion, justice. Scientists making leaps and bounds in yet another unexplored aspect of life. Information chanels, biographies, the news. We need to know. And I think that knowledge is our downfall.

But this isn't about us. This can never be about us. Love is about Christ. Love is Christ. And, this mystery, beautiful and foreign, is one that will never be solved until we bow before the throne of Christ. Until that day, I will seek to know more of this mystery as Christ has sought for me.