and the family grows...

It was a battle of the wills, at least on my part.  Everything was going just fine in our lives: we had a seven month old, I was (slooooowly) getting my girlish figure back, and plans for a new house were under way.  It had taken me six months to feel "normal" again after giving birth, and I was just beginning to get used to not being an emotional wreck.  Why in my right mind would I ever wish for another child at this moment in my life?  Granted, such an attitude meant that Joey and I had to place our faith solely in our "family planning" methods.  But, really, did God actually expect us to have baby after baby...after baby?

Such were our thoughts on the subject.  So great were our "convictions" that we easily found 101 other reasons why we should not conceive at this time -- and they were all very good, very acceptable reasons.

• Will we really be able to cope with "two under two"?
• There's no certainty of getting a bigger house in time, and we need a bigger house.
• Can I physically handle another pregnancy?  Is my body even capable of coping this soon?
• If I get pregnant now, then I'll be due in SUMMER! aka my least favourite season ever (it's the heat).
• We need time to "adjust" to being just three of us.  
• It's not fair to the Cuteness to focus our attention on another baby so soon.  He'll feel neglected.  Our relationship will suffer because of it. 
• People will think this baby is an "accident".  They'll just assume he/she was a surprise -- that we are just being irresponsible.
• NO ONE is having kids this close together these days.  
• ...and so on...

All of these seemed viable excuses.  Anyone would understand - and even applaud - our decision.  But, the more we thought and talked about it, the more selfish and untrusting we realized we were being.

Even when we tried to pray about it, the answer was shockingly blunt.

"Lord, please forgive me for not considering You in this matter, but, well, we want to know what You want for our family.  Do you want us to have more kids--"

Be fruitful and multiply.


"Yes, Lord, that's what You've said.  But, You can't really expect us to do that NOW.  What would people think of us?"


I have called you to be separate. 


"But now, Lord? Are you certain?"


Yes.  Do not be afraid.


Then the Holy Spirit would proceed to bring to mind many of the women of the Scriptures: Sarah, Rachel & Leah, Hannah, & Mary.  These women all trusted God, and He gave them children in His own time.  And yet, there we were, hoping against hope that God wouldn't bless us.  We were trusting in a store bought item rather than the Lord of all creation.

That's where these convictions left us: without device or argument, naked and revealed before a Holy God.

We let go.  We let go of our fears and trusted in the Perfect love which drives it out.  We let go of our desire to seem "normal" in society to be separate - set apart to the Lord.  We repented of our sin.

This is where we are now: resting in the glorious knowledge that He has worked a miracle within my womb and brought for life from one as good as dead.  We are hoping to raise a family that fears the Lord.  We are rejoicing in each other and how God has made us one.  And, we are praying that we will continue to be conformed into Christ's likeness from glory to glory.

Here we are.  Ten weeks along.  Praising God.

He is good!

May Christ be glorified this Christmas.