what goes up

I am really, REALLY hoping that baby’s nap is more successful than they have been the last two days.  Babies have to sleep sometime, right? Right?  No naps in two days hasn’t seemed to0 detrimental to the Cuteness, but it’s been rather hard for Mommy.  I never realized how much I treasure those 45-90 minute breaks until now.  I can get so much done in them (i.e. sleep, clean the house, blog, do very useful things).   Wait… is that… no, it can’t be! 

SILENCE.

He’s probably just working on breaking his swaddle or something.  Sigh.

I’m seriously wondering if he’s started teething early.  If I give him my finger, he won’t suck.  He gnaws on it until my finger is raw.  He’s always got his fingers in his mouth these days.  Oh, and he’s drooling like crazy.  And coughing because he’s drooling.  And waking up because he’s coughing.

Nope, it wasn’t silence.  I’m silly for even thinking it possible.

Now I sit here and think, What do I do?  Walking him to sleep doesn’t work, and neither does nursing him to sleep. We’ve made an effort to avoid such vices.   At moments like this, I ask myself, why???  Soothers are yesterday’s news.  Un-swaddling him leads to too much flailing distraction. I AM AT A LOSS.  PHN would tell me to feed him endlessly so that he’s just so comfortable that sleeping is inevitable.  Well, I’ve got news, I’ve tried that (even though it goes against what we’re trying to do with him), and it doesn’t work, like everything else.

Yup, he must be teething.

Patience.  Lord, I need patience.  I know that this will pass.  I know this is normal for babies.  I know that a bajillion mothers have done this before me.  It’s not my baby’s fault.  I just need more patience.  Heaps more.  BARRELS more.

It’s been rough for me lately.  I was venting my frustrations, struggles, and failures to my mom the other day, and she said something very profound.  Well, at least it’s profound to me. 

Andrea, you can’t be a perfectionist in parenting. 


If you were a perfectionist, you’d know how utterly flabbergasting this is.  It’s nigh impossible.

THAT is why I need the Lord’s strength and wisdom so desperately.  If I don’t trust Him, I’m going to keep attempting to do everything in my own strength, and I’m going to fail as many times as I try.  Yet I’ll keep trying.  What a horrible cycle!  I need to trust in the Lord to break it. 

I suppose there isn’t really too much substance to this post.  BUT, the moral of the story is that ANDREA SAWATZKY IS NOT PERFECT, but the LORD God is.


That, my friends, is reassuring.