I'm trying to keep myself from over-thinking how this birth is going to go, or how I would like for it to go. When Judah was born I hadn't made any specific birth plans - just simply that I wanted to try to go as natural as possible. I was worried that if I set my mind to try something, I would be disappointed if it didn't seem to work. There was no way I wanted to regret any part of my birth process. No expectations = no unrealized ones, right?
Wow, am I ever grateful that I had such a wonderful midwife to walk me through the process. Without her guidance in natural pain relief, I think Judah's birth could have been a much harder experience.
When we first got checked in to the hospital (at around 8 or 9 cm dilated), she made me do lunges up and down three flights of stairs. No joke. It was probably the hardest workout I'd had in over nine months. The hospital was virtually deserted for the night and the stairs were mine as long as I wanted them. This was such a great method of pain relief, plus it helped open things up down there and move the baby into better birthing position.
The other thing that really helped was being able to walk around and move during the contractions. Swaying my hips back and forth, bracing myself on some immobile surface while Joey vigorously rubbed my lower back (we'll be bringing tennis balls next time to relieve his hands and save my shirt) was a fabulous way to cope with the pain.
I gave laying down during contractions a try on a few occasions, but I personally think it was akin to some form of torture from the Spanish Inquisition. It made me feel like I was being held down against my will. I could not get comfortable and the pain was magnified tenfold. Yes, sleeping (at least in the lying down on a bed sense) was out of the question.
My midwife suggested I try soaking in the tub for a while to relax my body. After being completely mobile for the last, oh, twelve or so hours, I even found that to be too confining. The warmth of the water did indeed relax my body to some degree, though, and I was grateful for that. I just had to be aware of when my method of pain relief was actually slowing down labour. Believe me, it's a fine line. The hospital I plan to birth at has a massive, bubbly, expensive labour tub (not to be confused with a birthing tub) that allows a person to sit much more upright and still be underwater. I intend to give it a go this time - if I feel in need of it, that is.
When my exhaustion began to overwhelm me, I resorted to labouring on a birthing ball and resting my head on the hospital bed to sleep during contractions. It's strange how two minutes of sleep can feel like 20 minutes. Stranger still are the dreams that can somehow fit in these two minutes. Even though I was able to be upright during contractions, I still felt this position was too stationary for me.
At this point I began to get (more than) a little desperate, and that's when my midwife strongly suggested I put up with the nitrous oxide gas until it actually started to take effect. Up until that point I refused it because the different quality of air had made me gag. It was truly a life-saver for me when it started to work, though. It was perhaps not the most natural thing I tried, but I knew there was absolutely no possibility of it harming the baby - and that was reassuring. It gave me the ability to see past my pain and feel the awesome power of my body at work.
Birthing a child is a wonderful experience. I am so pumped that I get to do it all over again, even though there are many things that could go much differently this time. Whatever the outcome is, I will not beat myself up over it or feel that I was less than the best I could be.
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