It's so hard for me to grasp that there will be a new little person in this world in a very short time - my little person. I firmly believe that s/he was a living human being from the moment of conception, but somehow it's just different when a baby enters the world in the naked flesh for the first time.
I like to sit and daydream about what this little one will look like. Will she have big brown eyes like me? Will he have a shaggy mop right from birth (if heartburn is any indication)? I wonder how this one will compare to Judah as a newborn. While Judah was a stocky little football-player of a baby, this one could be slight and long. I try to hope that my labour and delivery will be quick and without complication, and that I will be strong enough to endure without medication. I try to recall those first dreamlike days with Judah and assure myself with the belief that I am so much more prepared this time...
The problem is that I can't dream any of these things into reality. I can't change anything by my hours (days?) of worrying. I can't simply desire a result and expect it to happen. All I really can do is trust that God is knitting together this baby in my womb exactly as s/he should be. I must choose to wait patiently for the day when He will reveal our new little son or daughter to us.
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