on marriage

our engagement photo

I haven't been that open about my marriage on this blog, except for the passing remark on how fabulous my husband is. It could give the impression that Joey and I are above average in today's society, dealing with very little hardship as a couple. In truth, we struggle just as much as any other couple out there.

If you know me or have stuck around this blog for a while, you probably know that Joey and I were long-distance sweethearts pretty much up until we got married. It's commonly thought that a couple shouldn't get married until they've had a really good fight - just to see how they come through it. I suppose it's one way to test the waters for marriage. That's something neither Joey nor I had the opportunity to experience before we were wed. We were always in harmony together, seeking to put the Lord first in our relationship before each other. There were times of slight miscommunication, but no fights. Neither of us felt the need to greedily hold to our selfish desires. We gave them up for the sake of the other person. So, without so much as a quarrel, we pledged our lives to one another. That was not a mistake.

It's often said that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest a couple will ever experience together. Again, I found this statement to be inaccurate - so long as we were living in obedience to God's word and showing deference to the other person. Our first year was one of great change and new experience (hello, moving four times and getting pregnant after three months of marriage), but our desire to live for the Lord and honour the other person made it one of the most beautiful years of my life.

Now, as we're well into our second year of marriage, things are looking a bit different. And, as much as I am loathe to do it, I need to take responsibility for my actions. It's not that we really fight, but that the driving passion to keep our relationship focussed on God and submissive to each other has been buried under the hullabaloo of life. When we were newly wed, we thrilled to make marriage the most beautiful experience imaginable. It was easy to lay aside my desires for the sake of my husband's. It was something I longed to do, something I looked for every opportunity to fulfill. But, slowly, pride has settled into my heart. 

Pride comes in so many devious forms! It can materialize in the mindset that Joey has his life at work while I live mine at home. It takes root when I think "we've got this marriage thing all worked out" and make no efforts to continue to grow in it. It sinks its claws in when I justify my actions by reasoning that my over-sensitivity and bent to vent is the natural response to Joey's easy-going, hesitant nature. A man and wife are not supposed to fit together because they bring what the other lacks to the table. They are supposed to compliment each other's nature and spur each other on through word and deed. And, unfortunately for me and my big mouth, that does not justify my ability to run on while Joey remains silent. On the contrary, my actions pull him down rather than build him up. 

I know a lot of women get more than a little offended by passages of Scripture that suggest a woman is supposed to be submissive to her husband (ie "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" Colossians 3:18.). That word, indeed, does create some unwanted associations. It seems like such a blunt and thoughtless command. It seems like a woman is required to subdue her character in order to please her husband. What many don't realize is that this particular command comes after a beautiful passage of Scripture in which the author instructs both men and women to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness, and love. We are instructed to let the peace of Christ dwell in us and to admonish one another, giving thanks to God. All of these things actually serve to enhance one's God-given character, not subdue it. A wife submitting to her husband as God intends is practicing all of these beautiful things out of love and respect for her husband. As much as we women would like to be seen as independent and self-sufficient, our husbands have God-given responsibility and authority over us. They are not told to be dictators, however. They are given a command to love and not be harsh. A husband leading his wife as God intends is clothing himself in all the aforementioned qualities out of love and respect for his wife. It's not a case of "If he loves me, then I'll respect him"or "if she respects me, I'll love her". That mindset will never work out. It is experiential, fleeting, and faulty. It will lead to the death of a godly marriage.

Guys, I'm not writing this because I'm perfect. This has been a journey into Scripture for me. Last night I succumbed to my selfish desires and lashed out at my husband - mostly with stony silence mingled with a few well-aimed blows. I don't even know why I did it, except that I was not obeying God and refusing to cloth myself with love. I wanted to be right about something (and what that something was, I don't even know). I wanted a fight. I tried my best to draw him out, to pique his manly arrogance and feel justified for acting catty. I was so, so wrong to do so. What I needed to do was submit my selfish desires over to God - but that's the last thing I wanted to do. By submitting to God, I would have also chosen to submit to my husband. I was avoiding the real problem in my own heart and attempting to project it onto him. I was simply horrible.

I guess what I'm getting at is that any marital strife I've experienced in this marriage always boils down to whom I choose to serve. Will I choose myself, or my God? It may sound silly, but it's something that has to be decided anew EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I feel like I should set an alarm each morning just so I can sit alone, bow my heart before God, and put on all of those qualities listed in Colossians 3. I must choose God. In doing so, I will without a doubt submit to my husband. I will love him correctly, in all purity. It is the only way this marriage will glorify God.

Marriage is truly a beautiful thing. The union of two people does not just exist in the signing of a contract, but in the actual transformation of two people into one flesh. Please, do not neglect God's commands concerning it. They are there for your good.

at long last

Spring is HERE. We took advantage of the nice weather this weekend. I hope you did, too!

Behold our God

Who has felt the nails upon his hands?

Bearing all the guilt of sinful man

God eternal, humbled to the grave

Jesus, Saviour, risen now to reign

Behold our God

Seated on His throne

Come let us adore Him

Behold our King

Nothing can compare

Come let us adore Him

kisses?

in somewhere between 10 and 15 weeks

we'll see this little one!

Jesus, thank you

They mystery of the cross I cannot comprehend

The agonies of Calvary

You the perfect Holy One crushed your son

Who drank the bitter cup reserved for me

Your blood has washed away my sin

Jesus, thank you

The Father's wrath completely satisfied

Jesus, thank you

Once you're enemy, now seated at your table 

Jesus, thank you

By your perfect sacrifice I've been brought near

Your enemy you've made your friend

Pouring out the riches of your glorious grace

Your mercy and your kindness know no end

Your blood has washed away my sin

Jesus, thank you

The Father's wrath completely satisfied

Jesus, thank you

Once you're enemy, now seated at your table 

Jesus, thank you

Lover of my soul, I want to live for you.

Trimester the Third

It's time. 

Time for a big, sentimental pregnancy post. Why, you ask? Because I am 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and that means that I have officially stepped into the third trimester. As in, two thirds of the way to my due date. 

Um... this has kind of taken me off guard. Ok, I know you laugh because of all the pregnancy-related posting and belly shots I've done this time around, but hear me out: being pregnant with one's first child is worlds different than being pregnant with the second one while a little one-year-old runs around. I've had no time to be "new baby obsessed" while being in the constant company and care of my little boy. Sure, I still mark the milestones (such as fetal movement, heartburn, morning sickness, etc), but this time it's a more familiar mystery to me. What's more, the memory of having a newborn to take care of is still fresh in my memory - so fresh that it seems a bit hard to believe that I will soon be experiencing it all over again.  

I am beyond excited for the Cuteness to have a little sibling to love on. He absolutely loves being with people and I think a little play-mate will do him good, although the new baby won't be up to his standards for a few months. I think it will still take a good amount of adjustment for him to learn how to respect little Nutmeg's limitations as a baby younger than himself. He has little experience with smaller (in age) children.

How am I doing these days? As good as can be expected. I've gotten all of the usual symptoms and side-effects that the third trimester brings. The worst at this point is heartburn. I get it if I'm hungry, and I get it when I eat anything other than breakfast foods. It's not always that pressing, but it's pretty much a constant. I'm grateful for Zantac. My midwife told me that it's actually quite safe for pregnancy - IF you take the regular strength, and only as often as it recommends. Many women don't know this, and I'm wondering if doctors hold a different school of thought on this subject. All I know is that a) it works b) I've had no side effects, and c) there's no chance of me getting kidney stones. I generally will put up with the heartburn all day and take one pill before bed. If there's anything keeping me up in the night, I want to make sure it's NOT heartburn.

They say that at the third-trimester mark a mother will either react with joy and anticipation at the very near arrival of her baby, or feel a sense of panic. I'm kind of in that second category. It's not that bad, but I feel like this snuck up on me. I want to blame it on the fact that we also have an up and coming move to think about. I'm praying that everything happens as the camp board has promised and that baby does not come early. Even if s/he does ignore the ETA, I know God is still good and He will provide. One thing I do know is that my body should be good and ready to deliver this baby with the insane amount of Braxton Hicks contractions I've been dealing with. Only time will tell, I suppose.

I leave you with this... me and my little man. :)

wordless wednesday

do you see it?

Up there on the hill? 

That's where our house will go.

It will look between parted trees over the sprawling prairie.

Behind it will stand some of the only oak trees at camp.

We'll have our own little oak tree enclosed back yard.

The Cuteness seems excited... 

...if only for the neighbour's dog.

road trip

The whole trip dodged storm after storm.

The scenery was rather monotonous.

Judah caught some rays.

The first rule to road trips is to have easy-to-eat food on hand at all times.

Naturally, the Cuteness had to explore his environment. 

Grandpa was attempting to feed Judah yogurt.  It was hard to do with all of the giggling.

Judah returned the favour.

Those? are rags in my hair. It was a fun experiment...

...but ended up looking like I'd robbed a poodle of it's fur. A nicely tamed updo was the solution.

in which I am vague and slightly boring

Good morning!

I am back from the wastelands of Saskatchewan - which honestly didn't look that different from home. My husband and cat were very happy to see us come home. Apparently the cat persecuted Joey while I was gone. I had no idea she was so partial to me. All in all, the trip was enjoyable, and I think Judah really bonded with my parents. That's something that makes my mother's heart so very, very happy. I had intended on posting a few pictures I took with our stand-by point and shoot, but have discovered that I have no idea where the cord for completing said task resides. You're just going to have to wait. 

The big news with us right now is that we will FOR SURE, without a doubt, be getting a new house within the next two months. Everything is ordered, and now we just have to be patient. And pack. I kind of slacked off with the whole packing business last time because we were moving within a minute's walking distance. Even though I could just walk stuff back and forth, I really regret not taking more care in the whole process. It took a very long time to organize this house - time which I will not have after this move. So. Yes. We are blessed and terribly excited.

I'm discovering that my thoughts are rather disjointed this morning. That being the case, I will end this rambling update to save you further literary distress.

weekend links

Hello, friends! I'm gearing up for an awesome weekend away. Well, it's not totally awesome because I'll be leaving my husband behind (it's already made me tear up half a dozen times). But, seeing as I'll be with people I rarely get to see, I'm assuming I will not be taking time to update ye ol' blog.

For your enjoyment, however, I've compiled a lists of blogs that you should check out while mine's on vacation. These all can be reached through the "wanderings" tab at the top of this page (for future reference).

On matters of faith:

Challies dot com. This guy loves to share interesting finds (most faith-related) from all over the internet. I often enjoy what he posts. And, if you visit today, you can enter in his weekly giveaway!

Family and friends:

Life... unscripted. This blog belongs to a high school friend. She's art-tastic and cute to boot. :)

Blogs I heart:

Pure and Noble. This blog is a recent discovery, but I absolutely love what this lady does and how she does it. She's scripture-minded and loves to make use of everything she's been given.

All things food:

Joy the Baker. Delicious treats with recipes for the taking! Every recipe I've tried from her has been fabulous.

Design & creativity:

design*sponge. I can't really describe the awesomeness of this blog. You just need to go check it out for yourself.

There you have it! Have a fabulous weekend!

things on a thursday

Life just kinda seems to be happening right now. Kinda happening without me doing anything to help it along. 

Our new house is being ordered on Saturday. Saturday! What's more, the camp board has made a super awesome Task Force that has vowed to get everything in place for the home to come by June 1st. Oh, and they are planning on building us a deck as soon as possible because WE ALL KNOW that if it doesn't get done now, it is likely to never get done. It's just how it goes. The only drawback to ordering the place on Saturday is that I will be visiting my parents and therefore unable to be there for the final decision making process. I have to trust my husband. Don't worry, it's not hard to do (plus we were just at the business and had a chance to peek at the options available to us. Joey has been thoroughly reminded of all of the options *we* definitely want).

Judah is, surprise surprise, especially cute these days. I can just imagine you rolling your eyes right now, but it's TRUE. I'm not biased. Here's proof:

• he says "uh-oh" when things drop or he falls or something bangs. It is deathly cute. DEATHLY, I say.
• when he's hungry and it appears that Mommy is making no efforts to get cracking on his meals, he will go to the "corner" we tuck our "high" chair into, pull it out, and sit in it.
• he has just developed the dexterity to build with his Mega Bloks. And, lo, the joy expressed on his little face is priceless.
• he loves puppies and makes regular trips to the front window to "woof woof" and see if there might possibly be one outside
• he knows that all things with wheels go "vroom vroom" (which is more or less true, except with our farm animals that, unfortunately, have wheels) and therefore vroom vrooms constantly when we take a trip in the car.

As for me, I'm becoming obsessed with all of the DIY projects I plan on undertaking once we move to our new house. I will be making a fabric headboard out of this fabric, some stump side-tables like this one, and as many drop sheet sewing projects as I can justify making. Just for funzies, I'll make some letter lamps for my children - but that's going to have to wait until we know whether the first initial will be an "I" or an "L" for our new little one (guess all you want, I'm not telling!). Yep, I am super pumped about this new place and making it HOME. 

So... that's pretty much it right now. Today I'm planning on simply cleaning the house before my trip (TOMORROW! eek!) to make the departure easier for my husband. I asked him if he wanted me to pre-cook all of his meals and freeze them in dinner-size portions with appropriate labels. If you know my husband, you a) will find the humor in this, and b) can imagine the sarcasm in my voice whilst saying it. For those of you who don't know, he's a chef. Yep. He even went to school for it. So... yeah. He wears the cooking pants in this household.

Judah just handed me a pig (with wheels) and said, "vroom vroom". Some day I will teach him that pigs say "oink" and not "vroom vroom". Or "la la la". But not today.

wordless wednesday

I'm going home!

In a stunning turn of events, I actually AM going to go visit my family on my own - with Judah, of course. When I typed that post yesterday, I started thinking "Why can't I go visit them?". Then it was a case of talking to my husband about it and seeing if it suited my parents for me to go this weekend. It does!

This girl needs her parents. I know that women often live far away from their parents and survive just fine, but that's just not something I can do. I need their friendship, their advice, their company. I need the laughs, the corny jokes (sorry, Dad), the likeness of mind and character. It is very sad that Joey can't come with me - he enjoys being with my parents, too! - but he'll also be busy with cooking for a rental group at the camp this weekend. I'm taking the opportunity, but it's going to be so strange to be without my husband! That practically never happens. We are bestest buds.

So, long story short, this week seems a bit brighter now with that to look forward to. Yay, spring!

---

Oh, for anyone who cares to care, the camp board is making the final decision on ordering our house this evening. Please pray that they say "YES" and get on it right away so that we'll be settled in our new place by the time this baby is born. I think it will put me over the edge to have a new baby AND have to move AND set up a house. Also, stress affects me physically and I'd really like to make nursing work this time around. Being stressed out is kind of a party pooper for milk production.

boots

these four walls

It's spring here. All I want to do is be outside. I don't want to have to come in to my stuffy, small house. I don't want to have to wash floors and laundry and diapers. I want to be roaming around the countryside, enjoying the fresh air. I want to go visit my family. I want to go see my friends graduate from college.

Reality: the house needs to be cleaned even when it's beautiful outside. I will be spending a lot of time inside in the next while if we are to move in the middle of June. Enjoying the outdoors will have to be a brief excursion every day. I can't go visit my family because Joey has this thing called a job and I don't want to travel alone. And my friends' graduation happens at the busiest time for us - and it's 8 hours away.

I'm getting cabin fever. Send cookies.


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I'm going to start highlighting blogs/posts that I really love at the bottom of some of my posts. Blogging is pretty boring if you're an island unto yourself! If you want more, you can always click on the "wanderings" tab at the top of this blog and peruse the sites I visit pretty regularly.

Today's highlight is a friend's blog that I stumbled upon recently. Don't you just love it when you find out that people you know have really stellar blogs? I know I do. Today you should check out Tyler's blog: Thoughts of a Sinner Been Saved. This guy is super cool. He once called my husband and myself "the bees knees" in a little card he made for us. He's hilarious and communicates his thoughts very well. Go check it out!

Sunday

 It's Sunday. 

That means we get to hear God's word preached with authority. 

It means fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ.

It means doing a lot of things like this:

I love Sundays.

God, revive our land

My heart has a growing burden for Canada. We're living in an age of comfort and prosperity. There's no persecution here, no fear of being dragged before authorities because we proclaim the name of Christ.

This has got me wondering about our condition. Aren't there numerous passages in the New Testament that firmly say we WILL experience persecution? Passages that tell us to take heart because Christ was hated first? I'm also troubled by verses like Hebrews 12:6 that say "For the Lord disciplines the ones he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives". Where's our chastisement? Some would argue that it's "inward, personal" chastisement which we feel here in Canada. I agree - the Lord is definitely capable of working in people's hearts in a quiet manner. But the fact remains that Canada is not a Christian nation. If it were, we'd be under a lot more trials than at present. I fear we are a very pharisaical nation to which Jesus would say, "I come to help the sick and dying, not those who consider themselves 'well'". If we don't see and acknowledge the sin that we are immersed in and our helpless state, then what draws us to the Great Physician?

There is a world of hurt, lies, and deceit lying right outside our doorstep. Yes, other people in other nations need Jesus, too, but we cannot let our own nation fall into decay. After all, our homes are where the true states of our hearts are revealed.

"God keep our land glorious and free", but not at the expense of our souls. No amount of comfort is worth that cost.

an excellent day

Today was just... refreshing. On all accounts. It's raining and beautifully dreary outside. I had some meaningful time in the Word this morning. Joey set up our new barbecue and we're having steaks for supper (a rarity!). I organized closets, which will make it a lot less stressful on my brain when I actually start packing up this place. Judah's total nap times equalled four hours. We're watching Shaun the Sheep. 

Oh yes. I am grateful for today.

My fabulous husband sets up our barbecue in our "porch"

The boys enjoying Shaun the Sheep

See?

Judah proves he is very aware of and annoyed by the camera

Sheba gets some (unwanted) love

some sentences

There could be as few as 12 (if this baby makes it full term) and as many as 17 weeks left to this pregnancy.

We are now the proud owners of a barbecue.

Total weight gain at 25 weeks: one pound. Total weight gain last pregnancy: 40 pounds.

Our vehicle is acting strange but the mechanics can't find anything wrong.

I have a thing for Safeway deli sandwiches.

I'm getting anxious to be in our new house (which hasn't even been ordered yet).

So anxious that I've decorated every. square. inch. in my mind.

My son is picking up sign language like crazy.

I'm not as desperate for the snow to melt as I thought I would be at this point.

Tea, toast, and hard boiled eggs were the dinner of choice for this prego.

We missed church on Sunday and I have decided that this Sunday cannot come fast enough.

Every place I set my foot greets me with the sound of crunching cheerios.

My husband just pulled up, and this blog post is thus concluded.

wordless wednesday.2

wordless wednesday

the mark of a Christian

Sunday was a strange day. We were physically storm stayed here at camp, while the rest of the world around us seemed to keep functioning without a hitch. Most places didn't get much snow at all, while others just got rain. It was like this little storm was sent to keep my husband and I at home for a reason.

Instead of fellowshipping with believers in community, Joey and I had time to seek God together - I mean, really get into His word. I think we were both deeply convicted on certain areas of our lives. The Holy Spirit worked in us to bring about that conviction.

Now, it could just stop there. I could have these moments of grave conviction in which I admit that I am living in rebellion towards God, but do nothing to turn from those errors. In that case, I would be no better off than I was before, and conviction would turn into condemning guilt. I think that's something I have struggled with throughout my life. I see my sin so evidently before me, but I forget that with Christ's forgiveness, I am told to "go and sin no more".

The mark of a true child of God is that she agrees with Him about her sin, and then immediately changes that behaviour in obedience to His Word. This is what's called repentance. Knowing your shortcomings but not acting on them will only leave you assured of your destruction. Repenting from them and trusting in God's mercy through Christ to cover you leaves you assured of your salvation.

What do you choose? Death or life? Guilt or repentance? Yourself or God?

fact: my son can walk