Day eleven. If baby doesn't come within the next three days, I will be induced. I'm hoping all it will take to start labour will be the smallest amount of pitocin, and then my body will take it from there. I've contemplated taking castor oil, but I've heard that even pitocin is preferable to what that can potentially do to one's system. My body is ready. All I need is some contraction action.
I've tried (almost) every old wive's tale regarding labour induction. I have concluded that my babies take longer to cook than 40 weeks. We monitored Nutmeg's heartbeat for quite some time yesterday and s/he was very, VERY active and responsive. The heartbeat fluctuated between 120 and 170 bpm. That sounds like a happy, healthy baby to me!
PS - "Contraction Action" should be a School House Rock song.
some relatively unimportant, uninteresting words
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sigh... it's hard to write a post. I am completely torn between being grateful that I had another excellent night's sleep and sad that I didn't go into labour last night. I fully expected that this baby would come before the Cuteness did at 10 days overdue. Today is my 9th day past the EDD. Nine days feels so exceptionally long when every day brings a fresh crest of anticipation. I ride the wave. I go to bed with one last hope that contractions will start in my sleep. Then I wake up in the morning, albeit refreshed, and feel like I'm right back to square one. Okay, I think. Let's do this again. One last time. One last day. I will wait on the Lord.
Even in my extreme disappointment, I can see God's blessings. I have had nine extra days (some of them filled with trips into the city for appointments) to spend with my family of three. Joey's still been working the crazy 15-hour camp schedule, but he's at least been able to come to all of my appointments with me. He is my best friend, and we are in this together. I covet my time with him. And Judah? Judah has been the biggest ray of sunshine in my life lately. He's completely transformed into his own little person. I can talk to him, and he talks back. One of us is usually intelligible. He loves to play with the strangest things - yesterday it was a plastic fork (with the prongs broken off), a large acrylic cup, and a beaded necklace I scored at MCC once upon a time. He loves the little things. I don't want to think about all of the moments I would have missed if I had been preoccupied with a new baby all this time. Yes, God is good. He knows what I need.
At my last appointment, the midwife who checked me (she was the one that delivered Judah) seemed confident that this baby would come for the weekend. She said my body was definitely getting ready. At the same time, she also said it would not be useful to bring me in to do repeated stretch and sweeps because my body is just not ready for that. Hey, I don't mind avoiding that uncomfortable experience and the long days (and gas money!) we would have if we were making that trip every day. I just wish there was something that I could do to bring this baby sooner - you know, other than being given nasty induction drugs at the hospital. But, there I go again, wanting to take matters into my own hands.
I'm sorry that I sound like a broken record. I kind of am. I'm stuck on the same verse, the same phrase day after day. I will tell you one thing, though: there will be some kind of crazy celebration when this baby actually makes an appearance!
Even in my extreme disappointment, I can see God's blessings. I have had nine extra days (some of them filled with trips into the city for appointments) to spend with my family of three. Joey's still been working the crazy 15-hour camp schedule, but he's at least been able to come to all of my appointments with me. He is my best friend, and we are in this together. I covet my time with him. And Judah? Judah has been the biggest ray of sunshine in my life lately. He's completely transformed into his own little person. I can talk to him, and he talks back. One of us is usually intelligible. He loves to play with the strangest things - yesterday it was a plastic fork (with the prongs broken off), a large acrylic cup, and a beaded necklace I scored at MCC once upon a time. He loves the little things. I don't want to think about all of the moments I would have missed if I had been preoccupied with a new baby all this time. Yes, God is good. He knows what I need.
At my last appointment, the midwife who checked me (she was the one that delivered Judah) seemed confident that this baby would come for the weekend. She said my body was definitely getting ready. At the same time, she also said it would not be useful to bring me in to do repeated stretch and sweeps because my body is just not ready for that. Hey, I don't mind avoiding that uncomfortable experience and the long days (and gas money!) we would have if we were making that trip every day. I just wish there was something that I could do to bring this baby sooner - you know, other than being given nasty induction drugs at the hospital. But, there I go again, wanting to take matters into my own hands.
I'm sorry that I sound like a broken record. I kind of am. I'm stuck on the same verse, the same phrase day after day. I will tell you one thing, though: there will be some kind of crazy celebration when this baby actually makes an appearance!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
But - BUT! It means that my body will go into labour on its own and I can stop freaking out about induction! Yay!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
...not because I've had the baby, but because it is still comfortably stationed inside my uterus, and thus the winner is by default. Le sigh.
Please contact me and give me your deets! Although I really should start making that monkey before I get your hopes up... :)
PS... I'm sorry for the changed blog design again. You have to admit that it isn't THAT different than before. I was just getting sick of the three-column thing... and the font in my header. You may now carry on with your lives.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Dear Baby,
I would really, REALLY like to meet you soon. Today, if possible. You've got a whole world out here that's waiting on pins and needles to see your sweet, smooshy face. Pins and needles, I tell you! Your big brother is remaining a little bit oblivious about your arrival, but I just know that he's going to fall in love with you. If it were possible, I'd say your daddy is more anxious to see you than I am. If you feel someone poking you in the middle of the night, it's probably him. Sometimes I think he checks just to make sure I haven't had the baby while he's been sleeping. We've got your cradle all set up, but I don't think we're going to be able to put you down for the first month of your life. You are the biggest blessing we've ever received, just like your big brother is. I can't wait to surround your warm little body in my arms, smell your sweet head, and connect with you out here in this big, big world.
I love you so much, little Nutmeg.
Mommy
I would really, REALLY like to meet you soon. Today, if possible. You've got a whole world out here that's waiting on pins and needles to see your sweet, smooshy face. Pins and needles, I tell you! Your big brother is remaining a little bit oblivious about your arrival, but I just know that he's going to fall in love with you. If it were possible, I'd say your daddy is more anxious to see you than I am. If you feel someone poking you in the middle of the night, it's probably him. Sometimes I think he checks just to make sure I haven't had the baby while he's been sleeping. We've got your cradle all set up, but I don't think we're going to be able to put you down for the first month of your life. You are the biggest blessing we've ever received, just like your big brother is. I can't wait to surround your warm little body in my arms, smell your sweet head, and connect with you out here in this big, big world.
I love you so much, little Nutmeg.
Mommy
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I have felt lousy for a couple of days now. Yesterday it started to get pretty bad and just kind of culminated into one horrible night of flu-like symptoms. I have heard that feeling "icky" can be a sign of labour about to begin, and I was kind of hoping that would be the case. We all stayed home from church because I couldn't bear the thought of riding a whole half an hour (twice!) in a van without a washroom. As it turns out, Judah seems to have caught some kind of bug, too, and had an accident in his crib this morning. And I am just as pregnant as ever.
All of a sudden I am very, very done with being pregnant. I was doing pretty well playing the waiting game, but now I'm starting to get a bit whiny (at least in my thoughts) about this whole business. Definitely not how I would like to be. Please pray that I would have endurance and wait on God's timing for this baby to come! Thank you in advance.
All of a sudden I am very, very done with being pregnant. I was doing pretty well playing the waiting game, but now I'm starting to get a bit whiny (at least in my thoughts) about this whole business. Definitely not how I would like to be. Please pray that I would have endurance and wait on God's timing for this baby to come! Thank you in advance.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I had a midwife appointment yesterday with one of my most favourite midwives. As soon as I walked into her office, she informed me that my name has been said quite frequently around there lately. Apparently Nutmeg is the last July baby they are waiting for. If I recall correctly, Judah was the baby of his month, too. The anticipation is pretty high!
Because I am now officially overdue, we had to have a conversation that I particularly dread: that about induction. The hospital I will *hopefully* be birthing at has a strict policy that women can go no longer than 14 days overdue. I know some doctors will let a woman go as long as she will, but there are studies that suggest that the risk factors to baby after the 41 and 3 mark increase as the (sorry, male readers) placenta ages and starts to perform it's (incredibly amazing! super-human organ of awesomeness!) duties. At 42 weeks, that risk factor increases very noticeably. So, yes. I have to start considering my options if, in fact, I reach that 41 and 3 mark. Blech. I hate the thought of induction.
And how is Nutmeg doing in all of this overdue nonsense? Just fine, I should say! I'm measuring 40 weeks (textbook!) and s/he's moving like crazy. The heartbeat was lower than we've ever heard it before (boy?). My midwife said it doesn't feel like a big baby, but just right for me. Aaaaawwe. She also mentioned that there's room for a whole other baby in there... so this one must be smaller than Judah was (8 pounds 12 ounces). At any rate, things are going just swimmingly, and I am content to wait. This baby still has a 10 day window before the dreaded "i" word!
Because I am now officially overdue, we had to have a conversation that I particularly dread: that about induction. The hospital I will *hopefully* be birthing at has a strict policy that women can go no longer than 14 days overdue. I know some doctors will let a woman go as long as she will, but there are studies that suggest that the risk factors to baby after the 41 and 3 mark increase as the (sorry, male readers) placenta ages and starts to perform it's (incredibly amazing! super-human organ of awesomeness!) duties. At 42 weeks, that risk factor increases very noticeably. So, yes. I have to start considering my options if, in fact, I reach that 41 and 3 mark. Blech. I hate the thought of induction.
And how is Nutmeg doing in all of this overdue nonsense? Just fine, I should say! I'm measuring 40 weeks (textbook!) and s/he's moving like crazy. The heartbeat was lower than we've ever heard it before (boy?). My midwife said it doesn't feel like a big baby, but just right for me. Aaaaawwe. She also mentioned that there's room for a whole other baby in there... so this one must be smaller than Judah was (8 pounds 12 ounces). At any rate, things are going just swimmingly, and I am content to wait. This baby still has a 10 day window before the dreaded "i" word!
officially "overdue"
That's right - I did NOT blog on my due date! I don't know what possessed me to forsake such a momentous blog occasion. I had intentions to take an official due date picture, but for most of the day it was ridiculously hot and I was dressed rather frumpy and producing a steady stream of sweat. That is JUST the kind of picture I want to remember this entire pregnancy by. (Not.)
Today? Today is a new day! The heatwave broke last night and it is a B-E-A- Utiful day! I took advantage of a sudden energy burst and the cool breeze blowing through our house last night and cleaned like I've never cleaned before. Actually, I never have cleaned this house like that before, but that's beside the point. I therefore have nothing to do today but to enjoy the fruits of my labours, walk as much as I can, and savour this legitimately beautiful summer day.
As far as being overdue goes, I'm handling it pretty well. I've come to realize (and accept) that the reason Nutmeg is still in there is that s/he still has important developing to do. I don't want to cut it short! That being said, every day that goes by increases my anticipation ten fold. A hundred fold!
Alas, I am out of the running for my own sock monkey giveaway. It's not like I was going to keep it, anyways! My husband informed me that he was actually meaning to guess the 21st of July, not the 22nd - just so you know. I suppose it was a typo.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful day! I know we will.
Today? Today is a new day! The heatwave broke last night and it is a B-E-A- Utiful day! I took advantage of a sudden energy burst and the cool breeze blowing through our house last night and cleaned like I've never cleaned before. Actually, I never have cleaned this house like that before, but that's beside the point. I therefore have nothing to do today but to enjoy the fruits of my labours, walk as much as I can, and savour this legitimately beautiful summer day.
As far as being overdue goes, I'm handling it pretty well. I've come to realize (and accept) that the reason Nutmeg is still in there is that s/he still has important developing to do. I don't want to cut it short! That being said, every day that goes by increases my anticipation ten fold. A hundred fold!
Alas, I am out of the running for my own sock monkey giveaway. It's not like I was going to keep it, anyways! My husband informed me that he was actually meaning to guess the 21st of July, not the 22nd - just so you know. I suppose it was a typo.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful day! I know we will.
Monday, July 18, 2011
I kind of reached my tipping point yesterday in all of this heat. Summer so far has been a fairly balanced combination of hot and pretty warm, but still manageable. I've been doing quite well at keeping cool, considering this 9 months pregnant business. Suddenly, though, it became unbearable. I'd feel like I was suffocating. I would sweat buckets all day long. My feet felt like they would pop with all of the swelling. Not to excuse my behavior, but I'm pretty sure my discomfort made me short-tempered and irratable.
So. Today. Today I have forsaken my (messy) house to enjoy the A/C of my in-laws' house. Joey gets the evening off tonight and I'm going to make a nice, home-cooked meal for all of us to enjoy. I will not be overwhelmed by the heat and I will actually enjoy these last few days of being a family of three. I'm not impatient yet, but I do hope this baby comes somewhere close to his/her due date... which is TWO. DAYS. AWAY.
So. Today. Today I have forsaken my (messy) house to enjoy the A/C of my in-laws' house. Joey gets the evening off tonight and I'm going to make a nice, home-cooked meal for all of us to enjoy. I will not be overwhelmed by the heat and I will actually enjoy these last few days of being a family of three. I'm not impatient yet, but I do hope this baby comes somewhere close to his/her due date... which is TWO. DAYS. AWAY.
a time for everything
A lady asked me yesterday if I was counting down the days until this pregnancy was over, or if I was able to take it one day at a time. I was truly able to answer with the latter. I may fill big, bloat-y, achey, uncomfortable, and hot, but am I impatient to end it all? Surprisingly, no.
In some ways I feel like life has been on speed-dial ever since Joey and I got married. We conceived three months after the wedding, had a baby shortly after a year of marriage, conceived again when our first child was only seven months old, and now, at nearly 2.5 years of marriage, we're about to have another child.
I am neither gloating about nor regretting the way our lives together have started. God's got different timelines for everyone, of this I'm certain. What has been impressed on my heart is how precious every season of life is. Why would I want to waste these last days together as a family of three fretting about and attempting to speed the coming of the next stage in our lives?
The last couple of days have been as Judah-centered as I could make them. That's meant that I've spent a lot of time playing with him and simply savouring the blessing of my big boy, my first child. He's going to change so much when this new baby comes. He's going to be the big brother - the one that looks out for his siblings. He's going to set the standard amongst our children, whether he likes it or not. They will look up to him and try to emulate what he does. My baby boy is about to discover what growing up is all about. It's come sooner for him than it does for many children. Knowing his temperament and easy-going disposition, I'm quite certain it will be a good transition for him. That, and I know God's is our strength, our portion, and our sustainer.
I am filled with wonder at this new little person inside my belly. I'm already anticipating the warm skin-to-skin I will get to enjoy. I can't wait to breathe in the sweet scent of yet another precious little baby. I am going to be amazed at how small s/he is in comparison to my almost-30-pound toddler (whom I still regard as small, thank you). I'll be startled by the newborn startles, hiccups, and itty bitty cries. All of these things have a nearly irresistible draw to me... but they will come in time. God knows exactly when this miracle will take place. I can rest assured in that knowledge. Until then, I will rejoice in the blessings I have been given and pray for the strength and desire to give those blessings back to Him.
In some ways I feel like life has been on speed-dial ever since Joey and I got married. We conceived three months after the wedding, had a baby shortly after a year of marriage, conceived again when our first child was only seven months old, and now, at nearly 2.5 years of marriage, we're about to have another child.
I am neither gloating about nor regretting the way our lives together have started. God's got different timelines for everyone, of this I'm certain. What has been impressed on my heart is how precious every season of life is. Why would I want to waste these last days together as a family of three fretting about and attempting to speed the coming of the next stage in our lives?
The last couple of days have been as Judah-centered as I could make them. That's meant that I've spent a lot of time playing with him and simply savouring the blessing of my big boy, my first child. He's going to change so much when this new baby comes. He's going to be the big brother - the one that looks out for his siblings. He's going to set the standard amongst our children, whether he likes it or not. They will look up to him and try to emulate what he does. My baby boy is about to discover what growing up is all about. It's come sooner for him than it does for many children. Knowing his temperament and easy-going disposition, I'm quite certain it will be a good transition for him. That, and I know God's is our strength, our portion, and our sustainer.
I am filled with wonder at this new little person inside my belly. I'm already anticipating the warm skin-to-skin I will get to enjoy. I can't wait to breathe in the sweet scent of yet another precious little baby. I am going to be amazed at how small s/he is in comparison to my almost-30-pound toddler (whom I still regard as small, thank you). I'll be startled by the newborn startles, hiccups, and itty bitty cries. All of these things have a nearly irresistible draw to me... but they will come in time. God knows exactly when this miracle will take place. I can rest assured in that knowledge. Until then, I will rejoice in the blessings I have been given and pray for the strength and desire to give those blessings back to Him.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
39 weeks
Hi friends.
I am completely amazed that this baby's due date is a mere seven days away. Wasn't I eagerly awaiting the day that little stick would show two pink lines just a couple months ago?
Apparently not.
We are so, so, so loving having electricity in our house. Judah had a long, hot bath last night. It got really splashy. I made bread and only baked it at 11:00 PM - a time I would certainly have been forced to be in bed by without lights. Joey had a hot shower this morning. I'm going to make a batch of muffins to freeze for post-natal munchies. I might even listen to my four hours of classical music a day that I've been missing for three weeks. And put in a movie while I sew a monkey.
I'm just going to let you know that I will be tweeting periodically through the labour process when it occurs. It will probably only amount to a few tweets (especially if this labour does only take 5.5 hours), but you can catch the action by following arsawat on Twitter... or you can just go to twitter.com/arsawat if you don't feel like joining the Twitter ranks. The great thing about Twitter is that it's a very public site and anyone can stop in if they so choose.
I hope everyone has a productive, challenging, and God-glorifying Wednesday!
---
Congrats to my friend Criston who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl last week! We've been experiencing pregnancy together this whole time - her due date was six days before mine. She's one of those rare ones that went into labour before her due date with her first child. Way to go, Criston!
I am completely amazed that this baby's due date is a mere seven days away. Wasn't I eagerly awaiting the day that little stick would show two pink lines just a couple months ago?
Apparently not.
We are so, so, so loving having electricity in our house. Judah had a long, hot bath last night. It got really splashy. I made bread and only baked it at 11:00 PM - a time I would certainly have been forced to be in bed by without lights. Joey had a hot shower this morning. I'm going to make a batch of muffins to freeze for post-natal munchies. I might even listen to my four hours of classical music a day that I've been missing for three weeks. And put in a movie while I sew a monkey.
I'm just going to let you know that I will be tweeting periodically through the labour process when it occurs. It will probably only amount to a few tweets (especially if this labour does only take 5.5 hours), but you can catch the action by following arsawat on Twitter... or you can just go to twitter.com/arsawat if you don't feel like joining the Twitter ranks. The great thing about Twitter is that it's a very public site and anyone can stop in if they so choose.
I hope everyone has a productive, challenging, and God-glorifying Wednesday!
---
Congrats to my friend Criston who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl last week! We've been experiencing pregnancy together this whole time - her due date was six days before mine. She's one of those rare ones that went into labour before her due date with her first child. Way to go, Criston!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Guess who just showed up...
...guess what that says...
...guess who's been a total creeper...
...and guess who's going to have a celebratory mug of red raspberry leaf tea - once she can plug in the kettle, of course. :)
I'm on a horse
It pains me to share this information with you and NOT have a picture to prove it, but I must. It is required of me as a mommy AND a blogger. Here it is:
Judah rode a horse yesterday.
It's true. We took a little walk to the camp's stables before lunch and before I knew what was going on, our head wrangler had scooped him out of my hands and set him on THE tallest horse at camp. She then proceeded to lead him around while he held on tightly to the horn of the saddle. I faintly mentioned that I was not sure how good his balance was (while my heart thumped inside my chest), and she assured me that she had him - or at least held a hand loosely around one of his ankles. In true Andrea fashion, I thought of the worst case scenario and realized that I would have to trust the wrangler, seeing as slithering between the rails would be difficult, nay, impossible in my bulbous form. Then again, adrenaline can make a person (even a nine-months-pregnant one) do some very "impossible" things.
All was well. Judah refused to show the slightest emotion, as is his custom with new and exciting things. When he was pulled off the horse and returned safely to my arms, he seemed a lot more comfortable with the massive horse head (far bigger than himself) that dominated his view. He even pet it voluntarily!
Am I beyond excited to raise a family in this wonderful place? You bet! We still haven't made it to the camp's pool yet, but I plan to make that happen on some quiet weekend when there's not, you know, three dozen campers in the water. I has big fears about drowning - or at least my offspring drowning.
And now I leave you to partake in the adventures of your own life. I, in the meantime, will be praying every minute that Manitoba Hydro shows up today and plugs us in. That, or drinking barrels of red raspberry leaf tea.
Judah rode a horse yesterday.
It's true. We took a little walk to the camp's stables before lunch and before I knew what was going on, our head wrangler had scooped him out of my hands and set him on THE tallest horse at camp. She then proceeded to lead him around while he held on tightly to the horn of the saddle. I faintly mentioned that I was not sure how good his balance was (while my heart thumped inside my chest), and she assured me that she had him - or at least held a hand loosely around one of his ankles. In true Andrea fashion, I thought of the worst case scenario and realized that I would have to trust the wrangler, seeing as slithering between the rails would be difficult, nay, impossible in my bulbous form. Then again, adrenaline can make a person (even a nine-months-pregnant one) do some very "impossible" things.
All was well. Judah refused to show the slightest emotion, as is his custom with new and exciting things. When he was pulled off the horse and returned safely to my arms, he seemed a lot more comfortable with the massive horse head (far bigger than himself) that dominated his view. He even pet it voluntarily!
Am I beyond excited to raise a family in this wonderful place? You bet! We still haven't made it to the camp's pool yet, but I plan to make that happen on some quiet weekend when there's not, you know, three dozen campers in the water. I has big fears about drowning - or at least my offspring drowning.
And now I leave you to partake in the adventures of your own life. I, in the meantime, will be praying every minute that Manitoba Hydro shows up today and plugs us in. That, or drinking barrels of red raspberry leaf tea.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I have lots of nothing to update everyone on.
- Yes, I am still pregnant. The good old "you're still pregnant?" questions have started to come my way. I do not despise them at all. I love evry kind-hearted person who asks such an innocent (and obvious) question, especially in person. It makes my day!
- We no longer have a cat. This saddens me (slightly). Our house just has no good place to keep her litter box and the idea of being pet free at this very changeable place in our lives was a thought too sweet to ignore. Don't worry, everyone, we found an excellent home for her with a cat-loving friend of ours. He was actually one of the reasons we rescued this cat from the streets in the first place!
- We are still without hydro electricity. There was a fleeting hope that they would come on Friday (we heard it straight from the horse's mouth) (or someone's mouth who had just spoken with the horse), and seeing as that day has come and gone, Monday is our next hope.
- This week is supposed to hover around a wonderfully bearable 24 degrees.
- Judah had his first quad ride yesterday. And became bored with it.
Because I don't feel like putting the work into incorporating them into this post, I leave you with three random pictures.
 |
| I finally finished the baby blanket I was making for Nutmeg! Go me! |
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| This picture makes me LAUGH. |
 |
| What a little muffin. |
Friday, July 08, 2011
Dear friends,
I have decided that I am no longer going to worry about when this baby will show up. I've made predictions. I've contemplated trying every natural labour induction myth I've heard of. I've even become "jumpy" at every little new sensation. All of it is doing nothing to prepare my body for labour.
Because this is my second pregnancy, things are likely to look different than I expect based upon my first birth. For one thing, it's common for a second labour/delivery to take half the time the first one did. With Judah it was 11 hours (from active labour to the end). I am trying to wrap my mind around a mere 5.5 hours of labour. I find I cannot.
Another difference lies in how the baby engages in the pelvis. Whereas in a woman's first pregnancy, the baby usually makes one grand decent and then stays down until delivery (and this can happen days before labour actually begins), in subsequent pregnancies the baby is likely to drop several times, only to pop back up again. I have felt this to be the case from the sensations of I AM TOTALLY SITTING ON THE BABY'S HEAD RIGHT NOW to the cursed INSANE HEARTBURN OF DEATH - and back again. In other words, there's no telling when baby will come based upon how low s/he is sitting.
I do not want to become impatient. I have realized that there are mere days left in this time of us being a family of three. Things are going to be much busier after Nutmeg comes. Judah will be adjusting (hopefully well) to big brotherhood. Joey and I will be back to getting little to no sleep at night. I can't expect that this transition will be easy. Maybe I should just relax and wait this whole thing out without fretting or longing to speed baby's coming. I've also noted that impatience and over-thinking do nothing to help (and often minimize the likelihood of) a natural birth.
So, that's it. I'm am strictly forbidden from being impatient. God is much more aware of what's going on inside of me than I am. I think it would be wise to wait on Him.
I have decided that I am no longer going to worry about when this baby will show up. I've made predictions. I've contemplated trying every natural labour induction myth I've heard of. I've even become "jumpy" at every little new sensation. All of it is doing nothing to prepare my body for labour.
Because this is my second pregnancy, things are likely to look different than I expect based upon my first birth. For one thing, it's common for a second labour/delivery to take half the time the first one did. With Judah it was 11 hours (from active labour to the end). I am trying to wrap my mind around a mere 5.5 hours of labour. I find I cannot.
Another difference lies in how the baby engages in the pelvis. Whereas in a woman's first pregnancy, the baby usually makes one grand decent and then stays down until delivery (and this can happen days before labour actually begins), in subsequent pregnancies the baby is likely to drop several times, only to pop back up again. I have felt this to be the case from the sensations of I AM TOTALLY SITTING ON THE BABY'S HEAD RIGHT NOW to the cursed INSANE HEARTBURN OF DEATH - and back again. In other words, there's no telling when baby will come based upon how low s/he is sitting.
I do not want to become impatient. I have realized that there are mere days left in this time of us being a family of three. Things are going to be much busier after Nutmeg comes. Judah will be adjusting (hopefully well) to big brotherhood. Joey and I will be back to getting little to no sleep at night. I can't expect that this transition will be easy. Maybe I should just relax and wait this whole thing out without fretting or longing to speed baby's coming. I've also noted that impatience and over-thinking do nothing to help (and often minimize the likelihood of) a natural birth.
So, that's it. I'm am strictly forbidden from being impatient. God is much more aware of what's going on inside of me than I am. I think it would be wise to wait on Him.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
I am struggling with being content and hoping in the Lord. I'm weary of what life is right now. I'm sitting here waiting for things to happen instead of waiting on the Lord. What does "The LORD is my portion" really mean? I think it means that He is all that I need for any and every given moment, every day. Knowing this great truth, I must decide to hope in Him and forsake all else. "The LORD is all I need, therefore I will hope in Him."
Like the man in Mark 9:24, I cry out to my Saviour, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Every Wednesday I open my email inbox to find the words "You're XX weeks pregnant!" staring at me. It almost always takes me by surprise EVEN THOUGH I count down the days (and if I could, hours) compulsively.
Today was no exception. 38 weeks of carrying this little bundle around have come and gone. I blogged on this day last pregnancy about how it felt like the baby could come any day. Well, that's just as true this time. I also carry around this silly hope that because my mom gave birth to me two weeks early (and I was her only child), I will recreate this circumstance sometime in my life. If that's the case for this baby, then my body has a lot of work to do today. I am doubtful.
My fabulous doula reminded me that the biggest enemy to labour is over-thinking it. Don't underestimate the powers of your mind. I'm not saying that to sound all guru-ish. There are many recorded cases in history where a woman in active labour completely closed up because the wrong person (usually a man) burst into the room, startling the woman and completely putting her out of her comfort zone - hence my decision to go with a midwife. If you worry constantly about labour, your body is far less likely to produce the oxytocin needed to jumpstart the whole process - and keep it going.
I say all of this to give some background to my next statement: I am determined to enter into a course of serious distraction. That means knitting, crocheting, movie-watching, napping, bath-taking, and a wee bit of house-cleaning... really ANYTHING to take my (admittedly overactive) mind off of what my body needs to do to prepare for labour and delivery. I am hoping for success, although I've never had much in silencing my brain before. The last thing I want is to prolong this pregnancy with unnecessary anxiety!
I'm holding on to Philippians 4:13 - "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (ESV). It is such a wonderful promise from God!
Today was no exception. 38 weeks of carrying this little bundle around have come and gone. I blogged on this day last pregnancy about how it felt like the baby could come any day. Well, that's just as true this time. I also carry around this silly hope that because my mom gave birth to me two weeks early (and I was her only child), I will recreate this circumstance sometime in my life. If that's the case for this baby, then my body has a lot of work to do today. I am doubtful.
My fabulous doula reminded me that the biggest enemy to labour is over-thinking it. Don't underestimate the powers of your mind. I'm not saying that to sound all guru-ish. There are many recorded cases in history where a woman in active labour completely closed up because the wrong person (usually a man) burst into the room, startling the woman and completely putting her out of her comfort zone - hence my decision to go with a midwife. If you worry constantly about labour, your body is far less likely to produce the oxytocin needed to jumpstart the whole process - and keep it going.
I say all of this to give some background to my next statement: I am determined to enter into a course of serious distraction. That means knitting, crocheting, movie-watching, napping, bath-taking, and a wee bit of house-cleaning... really ANYTHING to take my (admittedly overactive) mind off of what my body needs to do to prepare for labour and delivery. I am hoping for success, although I've never had much in silencing my brain before. The last thing I want is to prolong this pregnancy with unnecessary anxiety!
I'm holding on to Philippians 4:13 - "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (ESV). It is such a wonderful promise from God!
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Where did this exhaustion come from? I seem to have gone from "WOO HOO NESTING!" to a complete lack of energy overnight. The last two days have been particularly rough. Thankfully, I've seen God's mercies both days when I put Judah down for what I knew would be a nap for me and likely an hour of boredom for him in his crib. Not so - both days he went to sleep without a fuss and slept for a whole 1.5 hours. That's on top of the 1.5 hours he had already slept each morning. Like I said, God's mercies.
I just feel like I am going to burst out in tears tonight. I don't exactly know why. I think it's the culmination of many tiny stressors throughout the day - and I just can't make the pain go away. I can't turn my brain off. I just can't do anything.
There's only one place I can go for refuge - my mind knows it, my heart craves it, my flesh despises it. Oh, God, give me the desire to seek your face.
I just feel like I am going to burst out in tears tonight. I don't exactly know why. I think it's the culmination of many tiny stressors throughout the day - and I just can't make the pain go away. I can't turn my brain off. I just can't do anything.
There's only one place I can go for refuge - my mind knows it, my heart craves it, my flesh despises it. Oh, God, give me the desire to seek your face.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Hardy har har.
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Here's baby Nutmeg at full-term (and three days)!
About a week ago I experienced severe anxiety about this whole baby thing. On one day in particular I threw myself on the bed and sobbed "why on earth did we think it was a good idea to have another baby so soon?" That was a very "down" moment. It's kind of hard to "get out of" a pregnancy (in my opinion, it shouldn't even be an option), which made me feel even more desperate about the whole situation. Almost as soon as I had thought it, I realized how selfish I was being. Thankfully, God's been working on my heart ever so gently in the last few days and I am now, once again, completely joyful about being the vessel through which God's going to bring another little person into the world.
I'm really trying to be nonchalant about this whole labour/birth thing. It's getting harder and harder to keep myself from being "jumpy" about every little pain or new sensation. I like to think that things will start soon, but I have a feeling Nutmeg has different plans. No one really knows what specifically signals labour to start - baby? mommy? outside circumstances? - but every expectant mother likes to think she can have something to do with it. If I had my way, Nutmeg would arrive (or begin some seriously undeniable efforts to arrive) on July 6th. This is most definitely wishful thinking. I think I'm just going to pray for patience and endurance as the summer heats up and wears on. I'm also going to pray that we will get hydro electricity - and soon.
I'm really trying to be nonchalant about this whole labour/birth thing. It's getting harder and harder to keep myself from being "jumpy" about every little pain or new sensation. I like to think that things will start soon, but I have a feeling Nutmeg has different plans. No one really knows what specifically signals labour to start - baby? mommy? outside circumstances? - but every expectant mother likes to think she can have something to do with it. If I had my way, Nutmeg would arrive (or begin some seriously undeniable efforts to arrive) on July 6th. This is most definitely wishful thinking. I think I'm just going to pray for patience and endurance as the summer heats up and wears on. I'm also going to pray that we will get hydro electricity - and soon.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
We actually had my parents over for supper last night! They made the 4 hour trip yesterday to come see our new digs, the beach-ball-baby, and the growing toddler. It was excellent. We bought probably the most expensive steaks I've ever seen and Joey barbecued up a tasty, splurge-tastic dinner for all. They didn't mind at all that they had to sleep on our living room floor, use a lantern at night, and pour water into the toilet to flush it. Then, as quick as they came, they left this morning at 10:15. Mom's driving while Dad works on his sermon for tomorrow morning and gets mentally prepared for the crazy busy day he has ahead.
As for us, we're getting into camp-mode full swing now. For me that mostly means that I take the Cuteness to the lodge for lunch and supper, say good-bye to Joey by 7:00 in the morning, and hello at 9:00 (or later) in the evening. We'll be getting two nights off a week to be a family together (with the exception of Saturday, of course - everyone gets Saturday off) once the Camp Machine starts running. This is a big improvement from last year's schedule! It's kind of necessary now that our house is further removed from camp and I'm about to pop. Just wandering across the yard to visit people isn't an option anymore. I am, however, extremely glad that we are no longer living right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of camp. It feels more like a retreat to come home.
Every day that hydro does not show up seems to add a weight to my shoulders. I don't want it to, but even though I say "I trust you, Lord", I stress out over it. I want to do laundry. And have a bath. And use the dishwasher. And bake bread. All in my own house. But I can't. Even so, I know we are still very much blessed. We have so much. I need to keep reminding myself about that... every minute.
---
Happy 16 month birthday to my little goober!
As for us, we're getting into camp-mode full swing now. For me that mostly means that I take the Cuteness to the lodge for lunch and supper, say good-bye to Joey by 7:00 in the morning, and hello at 9:00 (or later) in the evening. We'll be getting two nights off a week to be a family together (with the exception of Saturday, of course - everyone gets Saturday off) once the Camp Machine starts running. This is a big improvement from last year's schedule! It's kind of necessary now that our house is further removed from camp and I'm about to pop. Just wandering across the yard to visit people isn't an option anymore. I am, however, extremely glad that we are no longer living right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of camp. It feels more like a retreat to come home.
Every day that hydro does not show up seems to add a weight to my shoulders. I don't want it to, but even though I say "I trust you, Lord", I stress out over it. I want to do laundry. And have a bath. And use the dishwasher. And bake bread. All in my own house. But I can't. Even so, I know we are still very much blessed. We have so much. I need to keep reminding myself about that... every minute.
---
Happy 16 month birthday to my little goober!
Friday, July 01, 2011
Yesterday was one of those grossly hot days. I heard something like +34 with a humidex factor that made it feel like +44. Blech! I smugly thought I had cheated the system when I went for a midwife appointment an hour or so away. A/C'd van hooray! I mean, it really was a good theory. I even planned a whole bunch of not-quite necessary stops just to take advantage of the time I didn't have to spend in our boiling house.
What I did not consider was that Thursday comes before Friday and that Friday is CANADA DAY and therefore a HOLIDAY which means stores will be CLOSED the next day, highways will be PACKED, people will be all ROAD-RAGEY, and shopping will be a NIGHTMARE.
I left at the normal time for the appointment, which usually leaves me with 10-15 minutes to spare - perfect for this single-parent-travel business. I ended up getting there 10 minutes late due to the crazy traffic, running out of gas, and people thinking that road rules don't apply on the day before a holiday. (They so totally do.)
Sidenote: the appointment went well, it seems. Everything's right on track and baby's going to come some time in the future. Ha.
I then made the foolish decision to start my shopping at Superstore. Superstore, of all places! People had CART RAGE in there, I tell you. I had to make some quick decisions because OH MY IF I DON'T GRAB THAT LAST CARTON OF MUSHROOMS NOW THEY ARE GOING TO DISAPPEAR AND WHAT ARE STEAKS WITHOUT MUSHROOOOOOOOMS?
Check-out line with four rude little boys and parking lot frogger navigated, I made a hugely satisfying decision: to NOT visit the three other stores I had intended to peruse and get home ASAP. Except ASAP turned into 25 minutes extra stuck in traffic. You get the point, though.
To reward myself for my excellent handling of unnecessary stresses, I made a beeline to the McDonald's along the highway to get a milkshake (because it was either sugar or caffeine and seeing as caffeine is not good for settling nerves and I apparently lost a pound last week, sugar was totally justified).
The McDonald's. Was. Closed... or something like it. The entrance was completely gated off and by the time I had realized the timid girl in a safety vest was actually there to direct traffic into the previous entrance, I had already been herded out the exit ramp and was signalling left to get onto the highway.
So ends my day of frustrations - and I didn't even mention the person who was parked across the entrance to the clinic's parking lot.
What I did not consider was that Thursday comes before Friday and that Friday is CANADA DAY and therefore a HOLIDAY which means stores will be CLOSED the next day, highways will be PACKED, people will be all ROAD-RAGEY, and shopping will be a NIGHTMARE.
I left at the normal time for the appointment, which usually leaves me with 10-15 minutes to spare - perfect for this single-parent-travel business. I ended up getting there 10 minutes late due to the crazy traffic, running out of gas, and people thinking that road rules don't apply on the day before a holiday. (They so totally do.)
Sidenote: the appointment went well, it seems. Everything's right on track and baby's going to come some time in the future. Ha.
I then made the foolish decision to start my shopping at Superstore. Superstore, of all places! People had CART RAGE in there, I tell you. I had to make some quick decisions because OH MY IF I DON'T GRAB THAT LAST CARTON OF MUSHROOMS NOW THEY ARE GOING TO DISAPPEAR AND WHAT ARE STEAKS WITHOUT MUSHROOOOOOOOMS?
Check-out line with four rude little boys and parking lot frogger navigated, I made a hugely satisfying decision: to NOT visit the three other stores I had intended to peruse and get home ASAP. Except ASAP turned into 25 minutes extra stuck in traffic. You get the point, though.
To reward myself for my excellent handling of unnecessary stresses, I made a beeline to the McDonald's along the highway to get a milkshake (because it was either sugar or caffeine and seeing as caffeine is not good for settling nerves and I apparently lost a pound last week, sugar was totally justified).
The McDonald's. Was. Closed... or something like it. The entrance was completely gated off and by the time I had realized the timid girl in a safety vest was actually there to direct traffic into the previous entrance, I had already been herded out the exit ramp and was signalling left to get onto the highway.
So ends my day of frustrations - and I didn't even mention the person who was parked across the entrance to the clinic's parking lot.
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