Meet Jaq the sock monkey. He became part of the family on Christmas Day. He's was made with wool socks, stuffing, and a lot of love.

He's a strong, silent type.

(He has no mouth.)

It was about time that he made his debut on this blog.

shelter from the storm

:: photo credit ::

Is anyone else a little bit troubled about all of the things happening in the world right now? Major earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, governments being overthrown, political unrest, changing culture, growing church factions, etc. are all plaguing our planet, and it's a fearful thing to behold. I can't even pretend to be totally informed on any of these matters, but I can tell you that watching and waiting by the sidelines is scary enough. I constantly have to remind myself that none of these things is a surprise to God. I also say to myself, "There's nothing new under the sun!" knowing that all of these things have dotted history time and time again. 

As a Christian who's mostly consumed with the daily grind of motherhood, it's difficult to feel the full effects of our groaning planet. I might not understand just how horrible radiation poisoning is, or what the phrase "being found in contempt of court" really means, but I have felt the shockwave on a different level. 

I feel an attack, a growing oppression, on my identity as a child of God. Everywhere I turn, I'm having to make decisions based upon what the Bible says, what I choose to believe, and what I want to be identified with. I'm feeling it in my own walk with Christ when I must choose to lay aside my comforts and seek Him wholeheartedly. It's hard to do - harder than I ever remember it being. I am loathe to admit it, but I fear man and condemnation from those closest to me. I have to force myself to consider God first and foremost, which is not in my nature to do. I feel like I'm straddling a fence and a storm is coming. I must choose to hide myself in the cleft of the Rock - under God's very mercies - or else be swept away.

I occasionally post lyrics to songs on this blog. Most of them are from Sovereign Grace Music. You should check it out. This group of Christians functions to provide songs packed full with theology to Christians everywhere. You can download all of their songs' guitar chords, lead sheets, and lyrics for free, and pay a mere $6 to get a full set of sheet music per album. I greatly respect what they're doing. 

This song, in particular, has blessed me this morning. I looked up the lyrics and was completely astounded by the peace it spoke to my troubled soul. Here's a disclaimer, though: always go to the word of God and to prayer for truth, for peace, for security. If this song touches you, then respond by seeking God in obedience.

I Have a Shelter
By Steve & Vikki Cook and Bob Kauflin


I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You'll bring me home to heaven

my husband, the photographer

My husband is a great (amateur) photographer. He's got a great eye and often goes outside to take pictures on what I think are the bleakest of days or the strangest of moments. It turns out he's usually on to something.

Having a hobby that both Joey and I share is really good for our relationship. It's a chance to get beyond the day in, day out of married life, take in nature, and compliment each other on our snapshots. It brings us closer together!

I heart muffins

what the experts say

The difference between the weeks completed and weeks to go in this pregnancy is pleasing - and scary! - to me. I am rejoicing that I'm almost to the point when baby can survive outside of the womb!

I know a couple who, pregnant with their first born, found themselves in a position that many pregnant women dread - going into early labour. This wasn't a "Surprise! four weeks early!" thing.  Baby Jacob was born at 26 weeks gestation, weighing only 2 lbs. From what I understand, the doctors were concerned about the possibility of his lungs being under-developed. This couple's church family petitioned the Lord for the sake of baby Jacob, and when he was born (thanks be to God), his lungs were fine!

I can't even imagine how hard the next months were for this family. They live in a small city with limited medical capabilities, so Jacob was kept the closest major city hospital - over an hour away. Life went on for the parents, which meant daily trips to the hospital and the inability to hold their sweet little boy like all new parents desire to do. They were, quite literally, living on the Lord's provision. 

I had the privilege of seeing Jacob when he had just reached 8 lbs - when he would have been full-term (~3 months old). His mother glowed more than any other new mother I have ever seen. When people tear up looking at the little miracle in her arms, she would resolutely reply, "No! Jacob is not supposed to make you cry. He is a miracle! Look how happy he is! Look how healthy he is! He's our miracle baby." She's right, he does bring joy - although such intense joy often manifests itself with big, hot tears. 

This family is not out of the woods yet. Last I heard, they were waiting on the decision whether or not Jacob's head would undergo intense re-shaping. Babies that little have very soft bones, which leads to misshapen heads because of the amount of time they are laying on flat, firm surfaces. A surgery like that is no small thing. What I love, though, is the joy that baby Jacob's parents have maintained throughout this whole process. I'm sure they've had incredibly dark moments/days/weeks, but they have relied on God's grace to get them through, and the knowledge that God knows best.  

No, I can't imagine going into such an early labour. I can't imagine the trials down the road should such a thing happen. But the truth is that God DOES know, He does provide, and He will not crush those who hope in Him. While I may rejoice because some medical professionals say "your baby can survive at such and such number of weeks", it is far better to put my trust in the Author of Life. 

happy day

Today is my birthday. It isn't even noon yet, and I've already been CRAZY loved on. I've had phone calls, facebook wall posts, and french toast. I got all dolled up and took a picture of myself and my husband - something we haven't done in over a year (gasp!). The cat got a spot of cream.  Oh yes.

I love my husband very much. I don't like glasses glare.

Oh, and honourable mentions to my mother, who gave birth to me on this day in history.

watching

He's over at the fridge now, trying to figure out how it opens. Looking up and seeing me gazing at him, he lets out a friendly giggle, throwing his head back as he's seen me do. Walking along the furniture is no big deal, so in a second he's next to me, trying to press the caps lock key, playing with the zipper on the pillow, and laughing without cause. A second later and he's crawled across the floor, placed himself in his (not-so) high chair, and guzzled whole milk from his sippy. He must feel rejuvenated, because he's on the move again. Oh, look, a cheerio! *crunch*. And another! *crunch crunch*.  Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio, SOCK! Mommy, look - a sock!

There's now a sock on my keyboard. My caps lock key is under tribulation again. He is desperately trying to pull himself onto the couch. Why are laptops so enthralling? 

Enough of this! thinks he. He makes his way (on two limbs this time) to the new Thing he found in his domain after returning from a sleepover at Grandma's. This Thing is just a dining room chair, but he thinks it's grand - until he sees the pillow next to him on the floor. FLOP. More giggles, more smiles.

Attack! I feel two little hands on my back. He seems to have discovered the wide band of my bra and has decided that it's stretchy properties make it ideal to bungee on.

More giggles. Head thrown back. Words I can't interpret.

Now he looks at me, wagging his head from side to side with a mischievous gleam. He wants reaction. Grabbing things and throwing them on the floor isn't working, but getting into cupboards does. He waits until I see him before touching what's inside. I get up to fetch him, and he politely closes the door before I get there. Reaching up and grabbing just one of my fingers, he leads me back into the carpeted area of the room.

I can tell he's getting bored, but I just can't stop watching him, can't stop drinking in my baby boy as he drinks in his world. We got home almost two hours ago, and he's been happily entertaining himself the entire time. Stacking cups stack. Cheerios crunch. His toolbox sings, and his phone talks. He's made friends with all of them today.

It's an understatement to say that I cherish these moments. Of course I do. But knowing that motherhood brings many moments to cherish does not lessen their value or make them any less of a surprise and blessing.

in which I've aged another day

It's almost my birthday!

I seriously love birthdays. I blame the fact that I am an only child - I may or may not have been spoiled rotton. You can decide. 

That face? was for the Fox and the Hound. Pure ecstasy. 

(I was.) 

Now birthdays look much different.  Up until I was 18 years old, I never spent a birthday away from my family.  My first birthday away (at college) was rather traumatic for me. Now, however, it's been redeemed by the fact that I'm married and can always spend my birthday with my best friend, if not with my family.  

Joey made yesterday my birthday celebration day (overusing "day" FTW!). We dropped the offspring off at his more-than-willing grandparents' house and set off to the nearest city to do anything we felt like  (overusing "off" FTW!). We mostly walked around different stores we never find time to get to with child in tow.  Sounds enthralling, doesn't it? My new dining room chairs, blue-ray player, and tea set think so. For supper we went to my favourite Chinese food restaurant with some good friends, with whom we continued to visit until after midnight.

Did you catch that? We actually stayed out after midnight!  That's so... 2009.  

Anyways, it was a completely awesome day. Relaxing, enjoyable, and different from the usual. Check, check, and check! 

I love birthdays so much. Thank you Jesus for another year of life!

it's the simple things

Our ice cream lid was happy to see us last night.  It was so happy, we thought it was worth a picture. See, doesn't Joey look happy?

wordless wednesday

*note: he wasn't really unhappy, just making faces for the camera.  On the contrary, he was rather proud of himself. :)

just planting a little seed

I received this book as a gift yesterday, and I'm really looking forward to reading it.  As you may have noticed by recent postings, I am struggling with finding my role in the home and thrilling in it.  God made me want to be a wife and a mum from the age of 17, but now that I'm here, I'm facing the challenges.  I'm hoping this book helps with that outlook, attitude, and purpose. 

Just thought I'd share it with all of you other wives and mums out there who also struggle.  It came to me highly recommended by two very trusted sources!

holy holy holy

This song is kind of making waves in my life lately. I believe that singing the simple words "holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty" holds huge meaning. It's not a mantra. These words do not make you holy or better by just saying/singing them. The singing of these words immediately draws my attention to God and makes me want to fall to my face and weep - not because I'm sad or without hope, but because I am so unworthy, and His grace is so astounding. That's much different than feeling completely justified in the person that I am.

I'm not about to post a video on here, but I will leave you with the beautiful lyrics.

---

Revelation Song

by Kari Jobe

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain

Holy, holy is He

Sing a new song to Him who sits on

Heaven's mercy seat

Holy holy holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

Who was, and is, and is to come

With all creation I sing

Praise to the King of kings

You are my everything

And I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows of living colour

Flashes of lightening, rolls of thunder

Blessing and honour, strength and glory and power be

To You the only wise King

Holy holy holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

Who was, and is, and is to come

With all creation I sing

Praise to the King of kings

You are my everything

And I will adore You

Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder

At the mention of Your name

Jesus, Your name is power

Breath, and living water

Such a marvellous mystery

Holy holy holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

Who was, and is, and is to come

With all creation I sing

Praise to the King of kings

You are my everything

And I will adore You

stuck in a moment

This week has felt really long.  It feels like I haven't been to church in a month.  While in the midst of it, I felt like I was having a really good week.  I was following my new weekly schedule and enjoying myself tremendously.  I was being the wife and mother I had always wanted to be.  And yet, at the end of the day, I would realize that I had not set apart any time of the day to spend with my Lord.  Here I was so successful in all that I put my hands to, but it was all dedicated to me.  The first fruits were greedily consumed.

How often do we, as Christians, fall into this pattern of selfishness?  We are human.  We enjoy when things go our way.  It gives a sense of victory and accomplishment.  It's intoxicating.  We live in the moment, for the moment, and seem to forget that God calls us to pay attention to what goes far beyond the moment.  He calls us to worship Him for His eternal existence, to live for Him because of the atonement on the cross 2000 years ago, and to be ever-anticipating the eternal heaven where we will worship His glory for ever and ever.

That's why I need to be with believers this morning.  That's why I need to be convicted of my sins.  That's why I need to hear, yet again, of my sinfulness and Christ's sinlessness.  I never want to become trapped in the mundane of the moment.  I want to live as if not of this world.

And I can't do it on my own.

wordless wednesday

a true milestone

The Cuteness has started to say words.

WORDS!!!

Real, discernable (if only to me) words! Today he surprised us by saying "Dada!" when Joey went into his room to get him up this morning. Likewise, he said "Mum!" when I got him from his morning nap. He's said his name half a dozen times today ("ZshjooDAH" or "LooDAH", with major emphasis on the "dah"). He has also said "Kitty", which comes out rather like "Likty" or "Tikky" or Tikilitky". It's a really slobbery-sound, at any rate. He says "Nana! Nnnnnannna!" when hungry (bananas are the universal symbol for food, doncha know). If food is tasty, a rewarding "num num!" is issued.

He's become very interested in the world around him.  He's mastered the art of pointing, which I've taken to mean, "Look at that! What is it?". At said gesture, I respond with the appropriate title. Toys are becoming much more fun now that he's learned that everything in creation is not made for the sole purpose of catching drool. Pillows are simply the Best Things when on the floor - they make for great flopping fun.

Walking is still neither here nor there. He's improving his balance daily by crossing greater distances without holding onto surfaces for dear life. Sadly, our house is far too convenient for him to really put his skills to the test. Everything is pretty much within reach no matter where he stands. I have noticed that he's preferring to walk along things rather than crawling, though. That's a huge step forward (ba ha ha) in my books.

I really, really love seeing him grow, learn, and change. Every day I think, "this is simply the best stage ever", only to find that the next is just as (if not more) thrilling. I am so thankful for the privilege of being a mother.

a look at social media

After a long day of housekeeping and taking care of my little man, I sat down on the couch for a much needed breather.  Even though I should have felt accomplished by the sheer productivity of the day, I felt like something was missing.  Realizing that I had not set apart a time to meet my Lord in prayer and study of His word, I quickly grabbed a Bible (more specifically a Bible app on my iPod) and opened up to where I had last read - 2 Timothy 2. 

These words hit me between the eyes:

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.  But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness... ...Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.  God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth..." vv. 15-16, 23-25.  Please refer to your own Bible to read the chapter in it's fullness and get a grasp of its context. 

I am guilty of being defensive about my words and seeing that they stand - especially via social media.  Really, it's far too easy to post a short rebuttal to whatever doesn't quite sit right.  I may have significant reason for doing so, and I may even have scripture and conviction to back it up, but Facebook and Twitter are not the places to do that.  Any one sentence can be ascribed different meanings based upon what attitude the reader considers it in.  Am I being sarcastic?  Is it a joke?  Am I angry?  Am I agreeing but simply adding a further aspect to above statement?  There is very little we can do to ensure that our words are not misinterpreted when all you see is 140 characters and a hashtag.  

As Christians, we are supposed to be monitoring everything we say with extreme attention to detail.  Were we not urged to take every thought captive for Christ (2 Cor 10:5)?  Thoughts come and go before we know we've even thought them - issuing straight from our heart and revealing our values, strongholds, strengths, and weaknesses.  If even those thoughts are subject to the judgement of God, how much more will our hasty words be judged?

The passage I posted above speaks of watching how we as Christians handle controversies and arguments within those who claim salvation through Christ.  Our words and the attitude with which we speak them - even if we are attempting to argue for Truth's sake - have the ability to lead people into ungodliness.  The biggest proof of hypocrisy to the unbelieving lies in the words Christians say - how they're interpreted, whether or not they prove to be true.  It is vitally important to guard what we say and submit all of the things we want to say to Christ, lest we cheapen the grace of God.  

Much of these thoughts of mine began when Rob Bell released his video advertisement for his newest book, Love Wins.  I am not going to get into what I think about all of that because, as of now, my opinions are unfounded, uneducated, and motivated by a back-arching attitude of defensiveness.  What I will tell you is that I, like many others who follow key Christian spokespeople via Twitter, was taken in by the whole unfolding drama that followed.  Some took stands, some approved those stands, some lost respect for Rob Bell, some lost respect for those who took the initial stands.  Some of the stands were seasoned with grace, others prompted by selfish ambition.  The same can be said for the responses.  I know that God uses men as spokespeople for His Truth, but I also know that Christians can very easily become noisy gongs when they do not speak out of love (1 Cor 13:1).  I am convinced that carless words do nothing but convince unbelievers against the "above reproach" life Christians are said to be living.  Social media is the worst place and easiest tool for spurring on these quick, no-commitment statements that come from gut reaction rather than hours before the Throne of Grace on one's knees.  

I am rethinking how I use Facebook, Twitter, and even my blog.  I believe there is a need for Truth to be spoken boldly, but I also believe there is a greater need for warriors who are committed to battle it out on their knees hours, days, and even months before clicking tweet, post, or publish.  If what we say has been bathed in prayer and is approved by God, then whether or not people agree, it can find no fault in the sinful motives of the flesh.

predictably unpredictable

I love how pregnancy varies so much from woman to woman, pregnancy to pregnancy.  When I was pregnant with the Cuteness, it was kind of fun to figure out "oh, that's what they meant by Braxton Hicks contractions", and "I never believed heartburn could actually keep you from sleeping".  Even though it was a very easy pregnancy, it still came with a lot of the symptoms and side affects that the books mention.

This time I'm finding it even easier to recognize the side affects of pregnancy because they seem to be magnified ten fold.

Last time:

slight aversions to a few foods, no reason to up-chuck

This time:

IN. TENSE. aversions to food (especially peanut butter) and many reasons to up-chuck.

Last time: 

dry hands (the right being slightly drier) beginning in the third trimester

This time:

extremely dry hands (the right about to shrivel up and die) beginning WITHIN A MONTH of conception

Last time:

Braxton Hicks contractions that didn't appear until about 34 weeks and hardly felt like anything

This time: 

Braxton Hicks contractions that started around 20 weeks, feeling closer to real pain than mere practice

Last time:

a head full of thick, never-shedding hair

This time:

shedding, shedding, shedding, but still so thick

Last time:

Want. Sugar. At. All. Times.

This time:

Want. Salt. At. All. Times.

Last time:

Orange juice rocked my world

This time:

Milk rocks my world

Last time:

Eggs became the most disgusting slimy things I had ever seen

This time:

Eggs are the one food I can count on enjoying

Last time:

I first felt the baby around 21 weeks

This time:

I first felt the baby around 14 weeks

Last time:

I was virtually headache free for nine months

This time:

headaches have been my constant friend

Last time:

If I didn't eat breakfast five minutes after I got up, I would die.

This time:

I often forget about eating in the morning because I am never hungry. 

That's all I can think of at the moment.  As you can see, pregnancy is very random (or pregnancy is wack, as I've been known to say).  But, even though it feels like as much of a roller coaster as it did the first time, I'm still enjoying every moment of it.

why we gave him a haircut

I think these pictures say it all...

As you can see, the situation was pretty dire. 

Now he looks like a big boy!

*tear*

The hairs still think they are five times the length and are behaving as such.

The Cuteness is well pleased. 

what better way to spend a friday night?

We are so cool, the husby and I.

There was a blizzard here from about 3:00 on yesterday.  That meant we were snowed in our *cozy* house.  Babe went to bed without a peep, and we had the whole evening to spend together.

We had homemade pizza - garlic sausage, asparagus, and red pepper pizza, if you must know.

(I know.  They should offer it at BP's.)

Pizza + movie + night snowed in should = a pretty awesome time.  We even had ice cream and mangos to enjoy later.

By the end of the movie (probably around 9 or 9:30) we were both sound asleep, he on the couch, and I backwards on the bed.  We woke up around 10:45 to go to bed properly.  Sans ice cream and mangos.

Party hardy!

the first look

That, dear friends, is a perfect profile picture of our sweet little Baby Nutmeg, rubbing his/her eyes with one tiny, perfectly formed fist.

That is proof of God's grace to my husband and myself.

That is a complete miracle.


---

There are no words to describe how wonderful it was to see this little baby today.  Although it's hard to tell from this picture, what we saw on the screen was very clear and easy to identify.  The first glimpse both Joey and I saw of him/her revealed two legs kicking kicking kicking.  We saw the little hands rubbing the face (as one is in the picture above).  We saw him/her react to the ultrasonic device.  We saw a close up of the nose and lips that looked almost like one of those 3D ultrasounds in detail.  I saw the little lines between the nose and the lips.  I could see a little fist clenching and trying to push away the intruder of space.  I could see the baby taking practice breaths.  We saw the soles of two little feet attempting to use my uterus as a trampoline.  The lack of movement I've been feeling was explained by the anterior placement of my placenta.  Even though I could hardly feel anything, we confirmed that this baby is indeed in motion.  

It has hit home.  There is another little human being growing inside of me.  Joey and I - we - are somehow contributing to the number of people on this earth.  Somehow, through the love we have for each other and the commitment we've made to be faithful to one another, we've been part of conceiving life.  For us, there is no greater earthly joy than this.  By God's grace have we conceived, by God's grace will this child be brought forth into this world, and by God's grace that child will find favour in His sight.    Oh, we are in need of so much grace - and we are so undeserving of it.  

counting my blessings

I have many things to be grateful for today.

I had a midwife appointment yesterday, which was disappointingly short.  It being short is actually a really good thing - it means that there are no concerns with baby and everything's going as it should be.  We heard the heartbeat (which kept swimming away from that nosey Doppler) steady at 150 bpm.  Everything is measuring up, and all of my tests are coming back without a worry.  That is so much to praise God for!  Pregnancy is really a time that should be characterized by faith, otherwise the unknown and the doubt that accompanies it can overtake the mind.  Even if things aren't going well, God is still good and STILL in control.

Another reason for my rejoicing is that I have an ultrasound appointment today.  We get to see our squirmy little baby as close to face to face as we can get!  My ultrasound with Judah was a little disappointing.  I had accidentally drank double the amount of water (that's right, I drank TWO litres) over an hour before, and I almost died in the waiting room.  Seriously, I'm not joking.  If you can die from an exploding bladder, then I'm pretty sure I was on death's doorstep.  The obstetrician hardly even let us see the baby and kept the monitor turned away from me the entire time she was doing measurements.  Joey couldn't even be in for that part.  She called him in after and gave us about 5 minutes to look at our bebe.  We were still grateful that we had the chance to see him, though.  This time we will be going to a different hospital, so I'm hoping for a different - if not better - experience.  It's already better - I'm supposed to drink a mere two glasses of water one hour before.  That's well within my bladder's limitations.  We're also hoping to find out the sex, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this particular hospital also won't disclose that information just like the other one we went to.  I've looked at both girl and boy ultrasound pics online, but there's no telling exactly what kind of images we'll get today, or if the baby will cooperate.  Again, we're hoping for the best, but the mere sight of our baby will be a blessing in itself.

I'll post pictures as soon as we get home, if we get home.  There are many many blizzard and freezing rain warnings around these parts today.  Either the storm will miss us, or it will hit with full fury and Joey and I will be taking it very easy out there on the roads.  But, yes, you have blurry black and white "can you kind of tell that that's a foot?" pictures to look forward to later today. 

bread making made easy

I've attempted to write a weekly schedule of things to do around home that gives one or two tasks to complete each day of the week.  Wednesdays, for example, are bread baking days, Thursdays are "wash the bedding" days, and Fridays are deep clean the bathroom days.  This is just to spread out housework so that I don't get overwhelmed with doing EVERYTHING in one day - which is usually the case.  It doesn't mean that I avoid general house upkeep the other days.  It's a way for me to ensure that housekeeping is a priority around here.

This week has not followed the schedule yet, but I plan on taking it up next week.  So, instead of baking bread yesterday like I intend to in the future, I'm baking it today.

The recipe that I'm using today is simply the tastiest bread I've ever made.  Caution: it does contain white flour.  Contrary to popular belief, white flour is not the devil.  Just putting that out there.  However, this bread does hold some redemptive qualities for those who aren't quite convinced.  It contains other goodies: corn meal, rye flour, and whole wheat flour.  The resulting bread is nice and fluffy and just plain tasty.

What I want to do is give beginners a tutorial on how to make bread.  If you're like me, you've built up Those Women Who Make Their Own Bread on a bit of a pedestal - such creatures surely must not be earthly beings!  If you're like me, you're daunted by phrases such as "proof dough for XX minutes" and "add enough flour to make it such and such".  And, if you're like me, you do not own a standing mixer (or perhaps you did, but quickly realized how it didn't fit your small house/felt bad about how much it cost/realized what you should have spent the money on was a crib and mattress/got it out of the box and found that it didn't work).

So, never fear, kindred spirits!  I give you this step by step tutorial on how to make Tasty Bread That Doesn't Turn Your Hair White In The Process...

...alternately entitled Homemade Bread for Dummies.  Please feel free to stop reading if you are one of those aforementioned heavenly women who's been baking since she was 18 months old. ;)

Some quick pointers to keep you sane:

• put your white flour (or the flour you use the most) in an air-tight container and keep a 1 cup scoop in it at all times.  Seriously.  It will come in handy.
• reuse measuring cups as often as possible.  Dry ingredients don't really dirty the cup, and as long as you're pouring the ingredients into the measuring cup, you can reuse it as many times as you like - just leave the sticky things until the end and rinse/dry out cup after measuring wet ingredients.
• put away ingredients as you finish using them.  It keeps your working space pleasing to the eye and makes the whole process of bread making seem like much less of an ordeal.
• test drive different utensils for mixing.  For the beginning processes of making dough, I like to use a whisk to ensure that my base is thoroughly mixed.  As I add flour, however, I switch to a spoon. Wooden spoons are great, but I find they stick to dough too much and don't have enough of a curve to them.  Right now I'm using a plastic spoon with a metal handle that has a nice bend to it - more than your standard stirring-a-pot spoon, but less than a soup ladle.  It's important that you have a spoon that will not break under pressure (hence the metal handle).  
• rinse/soak any utensils/dishes you are done with as soon as you're done with them.  Again, less clutter and less to clean up = a better baking experience.
• one package of yeast = 2 1/4 teaspoons.  Honestly, you need to know this.  Often jars will tell you, but it stinks to be well into the recipe and realize that you don't know what "one package" means.
• INSTANT YEAST IS NOT THE SAME AS DRY YEAST.  Dry yeast takes time to soak in warm water before it becomes active.  Instant yeast is mixed in with the dry ingredients and will activate as soon as you've added warm water to the entire mixture.  Sometimes recipes will specify dry yeast when you only have instant yeast.  All it takes to remedy that hiccup is a little re-ordering of mixing and a little ignoring of instructions.  But I'll show you how that's done later.
• oven temperatures vary, so don't go using an oven you are unfamiliar with.  Some cook hotter, some less.  I'm fortunate to have a (beastly green) oven that cooks at exactly what it says it does.  It may not be purdy, but it's my buddy.
• know exactly what the recipe requires before you go at it.  I think that's pretty self-explanatory. 

On to the show!

Pilgrim's Bread 

adapted from More-with-Less

Combine in a bowl:

   1/2 c. yellow cornmeal

   1/3 c. brown sugar

   1 T. salt

Stir gradually into:

   2 c. boiling water

Add:

   1/4 c. oil

Cool to lukewarm.

Dissolve:

   2 pkg. dry yeast in

   1/2 c. warm water

Add yeast to cornmeal mixture.

Beat in:

   3/4 c. whole wheat flour

   1/2 c. rye flour

By hand stir in:

   4 1/4 - 4 1/2 c. unbleached white flour

Turn onto lightly floured surface.  Knead until smooth and elastic.  Place in a lightly greased bowl, turning once to grease surface.  Cover and let rise in warm place until doubled in size.  Punch dough down; turn out onto lightly floured surface.  Divide in half and knead a second time for 3 minutes.  Shape dough into 2 loaves and place in greased pans.  Cover and let rise again in warm place until double in bulk.  Bake at 375 about 45 minutes.

--

That's the recipe straight out of the book.  Because I use instant yeast and am interested in reducing dishes whenever I can, here is how I rework the recipe (the highlighted bits are what I've changed/added):

Combine in a medium sized bowl:

   1/2 c. yellow cornmeal

   1/3 c. brown sugar

   1 T. salt

Gradually pour into bowl:

   2 1/2 c. boiling (or *just*-was-boiling) water

Whisk in:

   1/4 c. oil (any sort will do - I chose extra virgin olive oil)

Dissolve:

   2 pkg. dry yeast in

   1/2 c. warm water

Add yeast to cornmeal mixture.

In a separate (large) bowl, combine:

   3/4 c. whole wheat flour

   1/2 c. rye flour

   4 1/2 t. instant yeast

Once the cornmeal mixture has cooled so that it is warm but not hot to the touch, whisk it into flour mixture.

By hand stir in:

   4 1/4 - 4 1/2 c. unbleached white flour, adding a cup or two at a time. I will generally add about 4 cups, then plop it out for kneading.  I add the remaining 1/4 - 1/2 c flour as I need it.

Turn onto lightly floured surface.  Knead until smooth and elastic - at least 5 minutes. Place in a lightly greased bowl, turning once to grease surface (I use the original mixing bowl and nix the greasing).  Cover and let rise in warm place until doubled in size.  Punch dough down; turn out onto lightly floured surface.  Knead a second time for 3 minutes.  Divide dough in half.  Shape dough into 2 loaves* and place in greased pans.  Preheat the oven to 375 while you cover the dough and let it rise again in warm place until double in bulk.  Bake for about 45 minutes.  Pop loaves out of pans almost as soon as they are taken out and let them cool down fully on wire racks before bagging them.  

*Shaping isn't hard.  I take the dough, flatten it out as best as I can into a rectangular shape, roll it hot-dog wise, and tuck down the edges so the loaf is nice and rounded and doesn't have a mysterious swirl at the ends.

--

And there you have it!  I hope that's a clear as mud and makes you want to get out there and start making delicious homemade bread.  I find it to be a very enjoyable task - lots of time to take breaks, the satisfaction of seeing dough rise, and the smell of baking bread permeating the house.  

There's nothing left for you to do now but go and get your baking on!

a happy happy post

Friends!

I have exciting news!

We're going to move into a bigger house!  1200 square feet kind of dwarfs our current 450, no?

A NEW bigger house!

It's actually a modular home - what everyone knows as a mobile home (although they are really not very mobile now...).  It is long and skinny.  It has panelled walls (not the old school wood kind - don't worry).  It is prefab in every sense of the word.

And it's PERFECT!

Here's a list of things I will be grateful for:

• We will have THREE bedrooms!  Granted, two of them are really tight, but I'm just excited to not have to sleep in my living room anymore.
• We will have TWO bathrooms - full ones!  Now my messy morning getting ready habits can be safely sequestered to one end of the house while guests can trip over Judah's bath toys in the other one.
• Did I mention that there will be bathtubs in those bathrooms?  No?  Well, there will be.  I've gone without a bathtub for two years.  They have been very long years.  Now I can soak my aching pregnant body THREE TIMES A DAY if I so desire.  It also means that we will be able to bathe Judah somewhere other than our kitchen sink. 
• Speaking of kitchen sinks, we will have a double one.  I never really realized how amazing those are... 
• ...and though two sinks makes for easier dishes-doing, we will have a dishwasher.  There will actually be room for a dishwasher in our house!  I think this is the biggest thing I'm excited about.  Isn't that kind of... sad?
• Closets!  FIVE of them!  And one of them is a walk-in!  Big enough to use as a room if we should need it, right?
• A laundry ROOM!  Imagine that!  An entire room dedicated to laundry - with room for a chest freezer, if we so desire. 
• A place to put our dining room table!  Guys, we will be able to have guests over without making them sit on our bed and eat at TV trays.
• Many, many, MANY windows that all open.  Think of the light!  Think of the airflow!  Think of my restored sanity!
• Privacy!  Our house will no longer be plopped at the hub of activity.  It will be off in it's own little corner of a pasture at the top of a hill.  
• A yard in which I can hang laundry to dry in the summer breeze and warm sunshine, (hopefully) plant a garden, read books, and let Judah play around in.
• My parents will be able to stay with us (in our house!) if they so desire.  Guests!  Bring on the guests!
• Room to store bulk goods like canned things, pasta, onions, blah blah blah, etc. etc.
• Counter space for bread, bun, cookie, muffin, pasta, and perogy making.
• Room for my babies to roll, crawl, walk, and run.  Right now Judah can make the rounds in about 59 seconds flat. *sigh*
• Flooring that isn't 25 years old!  The kind I can wash and it will actually look clean!
• Places to put all of the homemade things that Joey and I are keen to build.
• I'm sure I could add to this list indefinitely if I left my computer open all day while I go about my business in our current house...

It feels wonderful to be provided for.  I realize that we could survive with a lot less and I never want to take the privilege to which I've been born for granted.  In these two years of marriage I have discovered how nice it is to have a fridge bigger than 3 cubic feet, a shower in my house, a washer and dryer that I don't have to walk outside to get to, walls between sections of the house, an attic that's not inhabited by racoons, and freedom from ongoing problems with mice.  These have all contributed to some awesome memories that I am grateful to have.  Now I am so blessed to be able to look forward and anticipate all of the freedom this new house will provide.  

I'm so excited!!!

it was a first

We had a little party for the Cuteness on Saturday.  

There were cupcakes.

*Were.*

There were guests. 

Lots of them.

There were toys,

mullets, 

and failed attempts to get Judah interested in actually opening his presents.

There was also a shortage of picture taking on our part.  :(

But! it was an awesome day, and Judah had such a blast.  Thanks to everyone who ate the cupcakes so I wouldn't have the option to made it out!

We will now be:

a) re-establishing naps

b) figuring out how to keep Judah's hoard under control

c) eating peanut butter, egg whites, strawberries, citrus fruits, and anything else we might take a fancy to 

d) doing extremely grown-up things because Judah is now a Big Boy. 

This will probably be the last big celebration before our other baby's Real First Time Ever Birthday, but I think the preparations will look a little different next time.  :)

because Christ has paid it all

I'm guilty of becoming "comfortable" in my walk with Christ - Him who had no place to lay his head (Mt 8:20), who was led like a lamb to the slaughter (Is 53:7), who challenged his followers to let nothing hinder them from following him (Mt 16:24).  This case of stagnancy in my life is not compatible with the life Jesus led.  As much as I may think that "it's all good" between God and I, it most likely is not.

There's this little thing called my sin nature that comes hand in hand with this whole "humanity" thing.  It likes to slowly exchange the grace of God for an attitude of works-based salvation - so slow does this change take place that, without constant study of the word of God, it is nigh indiscernible. One moment I'm rejoicing in the knowledge that Christ's merit has been imputed to my account, and the next I'm enslaved to an attitude of performance = acceptance.  This sin nature also likes to take the moments when the Spirit of God has brought me low (aka humbling me) and make me so preoccupied with my humility that I become proud of it.  How can one be proud of being humble? Sorry to say, but the former negates the latter - always.  The worst thing about my sin nature is that it abhors God.  Yes, it's true: I am prone to do whatever I can to keep myself at an arm's length from God.

All of this is to say that I am in constant need of revival - that Christians everywhere are in constant need of revival.  We need to have our eyes opened to the patterns of sin in our lives.  Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is at work in us, opening up the Word of God to us to convict us.

I recently read an article that Nancy Leigh Demoss posted on the True Woman blog.  The title kept me at bay for a couple of days: "Ten Indications That We Need Revival".  I've seen lists like this before.  I've been convicted by lists like this before.  And, at that moment in time, I refused to click that link (re: my sin nature opposes God).

But, today the Holy Spirit led me to that site, once again.  Instead of leaving you with that choice of whether or not to click that link, I'm just going to post the steps down below.

Here's what Nancy said about it:

As you read through this list, do you see any indications of a need for revival in your own life (as I did)? If so, agree with God about whatever He has revealed to you. Humble yourself by confessing your sin, crying out to Him for mercy, and receiving His forgiveness and grace.

As you do, you can be assured that He will fulfill His promise: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. . . . . Humble [yourself] before the Lord, and he will exalt you” (James 4:8, 10). 

I echo that.  Take a moment to read the list and actually let the words sink in.  Humbly lay your life before the feet of Christ.

Ten Indications That We Need Revival

1) When sin is the pattern of our lives 

2) When we accommodate broken relationships

3) When we no longer receive the Word of God with joy and expectancy 

4) When prayer and worship become rituals and chores

5) When we don’t grieve over those who don’t know Christ

6) When we love the world more than we love Jesus

7) When we no longer fear God

8) When we no longer view God as our only hope

9) When we have to be “sold” or entertained for worship to be meaningful

10) When “professionalism” has replaced reliance on the Holy Spirit . . .

The loosening of sin's hold in our live's is never without pain or discomfort.  And, yet, because Jesus Christ has paid sin's penalty on the cross, we can be assured that this loosening of what hinders is exactly what God requires of those who've been saved by grace.  It's not "do this so that you can be saved", but rather "because you have been saved, do this!"

I hope God uses this simple, soul-searching list in your life today.

one happy boy

Happy birthday, bud. :)