GUESS WHAT?




Andrea is getting married soon!




That is all.

cease striving

It has been a very long time... As the Christmas season gains momentum and the semester winds down, I find myself 47 days away from marrying the man of my dreams. There are moments where I sit in a stunned state of nervousness, wondering at what the future will hold for me. I know three things: I will be married to Joey, we will live in Winnipeg, and I will have a job. Questions plague me--what will it be like to be married? What kind of job will I have? When will I have a family of my own? What will God have for us to do? There are so many unknowns in my life! How can one possibly expect me to be calm at a time like this?

Like a rogue gust of wind on a calm day God speaks light into my darkness: Cease striving and know that I AM GOD.

I protest, I stutter, I complain. "I NEED to know what's happening! I NEED to plan things out!"

Cease striving.

Oh, why does this have to be so difficult? I have planned my life ever since I was a little girl, and now I don't even know what is going to happen two months from now! I can't do this on my own... I must get a handle on all of this... I should... I'll try... I need... I... I... I...

CEASE.

I trust You.

You are God.

My life is in Your hands.

Psalm 2

Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
The kings of the earth take their stand
and the rulers gather together against the Lord
and against his Anointed One.
"Let us break their chains," they say,
"and throw off their fetters."
The One enthroned in heaven laughs,
the Lord scoffs at them.
Then he rebukes them in his anger
and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
"I have installed my King
on Zion, my holy hill."
I will proclaim the decree of the LORD:
H said to me, "You are my Son,
today I have become your Father.
Ask of me, and I will make
the nations your inheritance,
the ends of the earth your possession.
You will rule them with an iron scepter;
you will dash them to pieces like pottery.
Therefore, you kings, be wise;
be warned, you rulers of the earth.
Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge
in Him.

As I read this psalm I could not help but think of all the modern day attempts to make the world a "better place". Leaders everywhere are conspiring together to "throw off the fetters" of the original intent of marriage (men... inflamed with lust for one another), unwanted pregnancies (it's a woman's choice), abstinence (free condoms from the health nurse), respect for authority (kids have the right to do whatever they want), the woman's role in marriage (for Adam no suitable helper could be found), being held accountable for our earthly sins (what's right for you is right for you), having to choose whether or not you will believe in Christ (all roads lead to God), etc. God laughs at this! We are all trying to be our own kings with our own little kingdoms. Little do we know that God has set a King over the world! By constantly rejecting His authority, we are only setting ourselves up to be dashed "to pieces like pottery". If there is any hope for this nation, it is in our acknowledgment of Christ -- "Kiss the Son, lest he be angry".

Blessed are all who take refuge in Him.

where it all began

There once was a lad who, handsome and strong as he was, allotted himself no comfort in the realm of women, for he was a steadfast and upright sort of fellow who did abstain from the wanton pleasures that the world afforded. Though his intentions proved pure and his actions noble, he possessed in himself a quiet sort of manner that gave little assurance to anyone that showed him interest. Such was the case for Miss Porter, who felt strongly within her heart that he, Master Sawatzky, would make an excellent partner. Unfortunately, she also possessed a quiet manner that thus hindered her from showing him excessive favour. So they dwelt in exceedingly oppressive silence, he giving little occasion for hope, and she too timid to assume anything beyond acquaintanceship.

It so happened that there was an annual ball to be held on the twenty-fifth of the sixth month to honour those who had successfully passed through twelve years of education, at which Master Sawatzky was esteemed. Miss Porter, one year short of completing twelve, found herself not escorting Master Sawatzky, as she had hoped to, but the quiet and shy Master Rogers. She nearly concluded that all was lost when she espied the amiable Miss Penner clutching his arm. She remained determined, however, and displayed a brave face, attempting to prove to be equally amiable as Miss Penner.

The shadows grew long and the air cool, and Miss Porter conceded to accompany Master Rogers to a party of the dry sort. There did she find, to her delight, Master Sawatzky present, and bereft of his Miss Penner. Great as her joy was in the occasion, Miss Porter was still held captive to her petty little fears, and thus did not attempt to speak to him. It came about throughout the course of the evening that he and she found themselves situated beside one another, being warmed by the comforting blaze of a fire. It was, of course, he that instigated the polite conversation that ensued. Miss Porter, though attempting to appear engaged in his chatter, was slightly bewildered by his obvious effort to make her feel validated and entertained. You, therefore, can then understand her shock when from his mouth this proposal did proceed:

“Whilst thou do me the honour of accompanying me to yonder theatre for what is deemed to be a pleasant presentation?”

Miss Porter did not hesitate, lest her surprise be revealed, and replied, “It is agreeable to me.”

There is not much more to be stated concerning this event, for the evening quickly drew to a close. The guests gave their many thanks to the hosts, and Miss Porter was promptly taken back to her estate by Master Rogers.

When the morning sun had dawned the following day, Miss Porter found herself at quite the moment of crisis. She, knowing not why Master Sawatzky had decided to lend her his affections in such a manner and at such a time as he had, proceeded to lay her troubles on her good father and mother. Imagine her surprise when she was met not with the usual counsel, but shock that was nearly more intense than her own had been the night before.

“My fair daughter, I do believe there is a matter which your mother needs to discuss with you, for this did not happen of mere chance!” said her father.

Mrs. Porter could hardly contain her excitement, and ran up to her daughter exclaiming, “Most assuredly, most assuredly! Know you how highly your father and I think of Master Sawatzky? Though I formerly conceded to desist in pestering you with my desire for your engagement to him, I did not cease praying earnestly on the matter. On the evening before last, I presented one last request to our Heavenly Father that if He should so will it, Master Sawatzky would attempt to win your affections on the night of celebration. Therefore, my daughter, I find that, in all matters, my prayers have been diligently hearkened to and my happiness has been made complete!”

This confession from her own kin left Miss Porter in a curious state of astonishment mingled with fear, for she was by no means certain of Master Sawatzky’s affections for her. But, at the urging of her mother, she dictated and sent forth a lengthy letter informing him of her desire and inquiring of his.

The days that followed were of torment, for poor Miss Porter received no news either feeding or extinguishing her pitiful flame. Before long, the day on which he and she had agreed to attend the theatre came. Miss Porter mustered up as much courage as possible, for she knew not whether her letter had changed Master Sawatzky’s opinion of her. As he approached her, she scolded herself for being such a fool, for he was not alone. Now, you see, she thought to herself, he never had any intention of pursuing me at all. I have only succeeded in losing my most esteemed friend. The gentleman knows no other way to inform me other than to confound me by insisting upon bringing his younger brother.

Though the presentation at the theatre was well done, and though the company was still amiable, Miss Porter had entered into such a mind of defeat that she found very little pleasure in anything. Her mood was so horribly soured that when she received a letter later in the days that followed, she, at first, gave it little thought. Willing her mind to focus, she read the following:

Dear Miss Porter,

I received your letter last evening, and am admittedly shocked and ecstatic by its content. I confess that I have secretly desired your affections, but have not had the courage to confirm them. Please be assured that I feel as you do in every aspect. If only I had not been the fool and insisted my brother accompany us to the theatre. For this I must apologize, but only for a moment, for I believe we have more important matters to discuss at present.Sincerely,Andrew Joseph Sawatzky

Though her mind protested to this confession convincingly, Miss Porter could not help but be filled with the most severe joy she had ever been exposed to. Hope replaced doubt, and she forgave all the imagined faults she had ascribed to Master Sawatzky. As you might have expected, the fortunate pair did in fact enter into a most beautiful courtship, which, in time, progressed to a most timely engagement. Whether or not they lived happily ever after, we do not know, for theirs is a story which has not yet been finished.

He's not slow concerning His promise...

The Lord God is faithful and compassionate. He does not rejoice when one of His children suffers. As much as we think we are the ones being patient through our sufferings, it is He who is being patient. He gives us trials so that we may show Him that we have faith. Trials produce a character that is refined, pleasing to God. It is not presumptuous to say that if you, as a child of God, are experiencing turmoil, temptation, doubt, persecution, or a drought, then God has got a particular lesson in mind that He is teaching you through your circumstances. He may want to reveal to you one smidgen of His character, or He may be putting you through the flames to burn away what does not please Him. Whatever the reason, be sure that God is not a stranger to what is happening to you. "Why me, oh God?" I catch myself saying all too often. Why not me? I should be overwhelmed, kissing the feet of Jesus, thanking Him with the greatest sincerity for the opportunity to be changed, from glory to glory, into His image. (2 Cor 3:18-- 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory.... NASU)

This process of sanctification is NEVER easy... it means getting our toes stepped on, our hairs singed. I hope that one day what I am will not be able to be compared to what I was. Do you desire this change in yourself? If so, take the trials as an opportunity to wash the feet of Jesus with your tears, to wipe His feet with your hair. There is pain along the journey, but remember that just as much as you think you are being patient, God is being patient towards you just the same. Times infinity.

2 Peter 3:9

9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

NASU

in training

Hello to everybody! I am taking this moment to relish the feeling of finally being able to blog again! It's been a long two months, that's for sure. I apologize for my neglect, but we've been through summer before. You know that I hardly ever get time to blog!

I've been working at Valley View Bible Camp again this summer. It's been quite a different experience this time, though. I headed up the Leadership Development Program of 2008, which was absolutely amazing. There was a lot more responsibility on my shoulders, but I do well when given extra responsibility. It's better if it's just laid on me rather than me taking time to mull it over and get stressed out. After all, I am a perfectionist, and I do have the tendency to get bogged down in the decision making process! I went into the program desiring just to be obedient to God. If you think of the goal of summer camps to simply be converting as many kids as we can to Christ, then the whole ministry is pretty disappointing. We as Christians are called to be obedient to God--"sowing" where God shows us, "watering" where necessary. HE is the one that causes the ultimate growth. The knowledge that God is sovereign and will work the way He has ordained is the only thing that has kept me going this summer. I have seen Him at work in the lives of all my LDP participants. What a strange feeling it was when I found out that He taught them exactly what was on my heart to teach, except I never found the right words with which to teach them! God definitely knows what He is doing.

I also had the opportunity to be a cabin leader during one of the teen weeks. This was such a refreshing experience for me. Wow, did I ever miss being a cabin leader! Leading LDP is a little bit different than having a group of girls that come to camp for fun (and sometimes boys). I wasn't exactly enthralled at the idea of being back in a cabin, let alone during one of the most draining weeks of camp that there is. So, in my weakness I cried out to my Father.

Jesus, break my heart for these girls. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Be the Love I need for them, give me that Love even before they walk into my cabin for the first time. I need You because I can't do this. I will be obedient, God, because You have called me to be obedient. Have Your way, Father.

I believe that God led me to pray in this specific way, because He was faithful to provide all of these things. I have never been so spiritually refreshed while doing ministry!

Apart from camp news, Joey and I are exactly half a year away from our big day. 6 months, that's all! God has been revealing so many new things to us. It's difficult to always rest in Him, though. I often begin worrying, or planning beyond what God has laid out for us thus far, or I nearly forget that we do not belong to each other yet. It's definitely been a challenge, but we have so many loving people to keep us on track. I am so blessed by all of my Christian friends.

Well, that's pretty much 60 days in four paragraphs. I wish I had an eternity to write and a infallible memory, but I have neither. Thank you for being so patient with me (as if you have any other choice!). I hope to blog more often, but I doubt it will happen. Once I'm back at school and a normal routine (camp is not normal), I think I will find more time to do things. Until I write again, God bless you!

the story

Okay, this note is for everyone wondering just exactly how and when I got engaged to Joey Sawatzky. Sit down, hold on tight...

It was Friday at about supper, and I had no idea I would even see Joey at all. We had planned to go on a date the following day, but as far as I knew, Friday was an average day. He phoned me, and soon he was over at VVBC for supper. Right after supper, my old youth group showed up to do some grounds work for the camp, and Christine & Tracy (my youth leaders) chased me down to say hi and to check my finger for a ring--just a joke. We laughed about it, and even thought about how funny it would be if I had a fake ring on that finger just to trick people.

Camp was pretty full of people, and this being the first time Joey and I had seen eachother in a month, we didn't want to be stuck amongst a crowd. It was pretty chilly outside, so our best option was to go for a drive. We headed south of camp on random country roads until we came to a sign that said, "No thru road". "This looks good" said Joey, and I just thought, "ummmm....?!?" Joey drove until he literally couldn't drive any further, and we got out to walk.

It was still really chilly. Perhaps worse. The terrain wasn't very suitable for walking, so we slowly turned back to the car, and I was trying to figure out something we should do. Shivering from the cold and hugging Joey to keep warm, I asked, "what are we going to do?!?"

And that's when it happened. He said, "What I came here to do" and bent down on one knee. (I think I gave him a really awkward look. I was confused because I thought he was pulling out a camera. "we came here to take pictures?" It just didn't make sense!) "Andrea, will you marry me?"

At this moment I forgot to breath, reverted back to my childhood, sped forward to the future, started to cry, started to laugh, and fell to my knees, all the while trying to spit out, "yes... Yes... YES!" I hugged him so tight, and I couldn't stop crying/laughing. I hadn't even seen the ring! All I know is that the man of my dreams was on his knees, completely vulnerable before me, and I loved him more than I could have ever thought possible.

I don't really know how long we knelt there in the sand together, but it seemed like an eternity. Sometime or other we remembered the ring, and he opened the case and I put it on.  (Funny how I never told him what I like, yet he bought exactly what I would have picked. NO ONE knew what I liked.) When we stood up, I could feel him shaking... not just little shivers, but big waves. He was so nervous! I don't blame him. He could not have planned a better time. I definitely did not expect to be engaged this spring!!!

Anyways, we drove back to VVBC to show everyone the ring and spread our joy. I phoned my parents (my mom's reaction was pretty close to mine, I think), and Christine and Tracy just had to laugh at the irony of how we had been joking about me being engaged prior to Joey's proposal. It was just so perfect!!!

Thanks to all of you who made a point to remember Joey and I in your prayers. I am not exaggerating when I say that God used you to carry out His will in our lives. Please keep thinking of us... I'm sure there are going to be days when I'm sure I've gone nuts and I'll need to have a good cry, but I am facing it head on--God's guiding us.... and I am so excited!

-Andrea

interruption

I have been sucked into a world I fully anticipated entering but never really expected! 12 days ago Joey proposed to me... and I said yes! I am engaged to be maried, and I could not have been prepared for it EVER in my whole entire life. There are certain things you can dream about, but you will never fully understand them until they turn from dreams to reality. That is how I feel! In the not-so-distant future I will not be "just me", but one with someone else. What a strange, intrusive, wonderful thought! What a timely interruption this is in my life... I can't even explain it. I'm afraid I am probably just going to make you more left out of the loop by writing this than if I had said nothing at all. All these things, these thoughts, these moments I will treasure up in my heart, known to no one else but God. He is a good God...

receive the word implanted

Tomorrow I am heading out on a new adventure... Okay, it's not terribly adventuresome, but it is a change of scenery. I'm heading to Manitoba to start working at Valley View Bible Camp for the whole summer. I am quite excited to see some friends and to get off my behind, but that excitement is dulled simply because I have so much to do today. I am sick of packing!

I listened to a very interesting sermon yesterday. It was about the judgement seat of Christ, and one of the last points the preacher made was that his message, if ignored, was enough to condemn you to hell. It was a very bold statement, but not out of place. It fit the rest of his sermon and the style in which he preached. The point is that we are responsible for how we react to the Word of God. Isaiah 55:10-11 states,

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

God's word is so extremely important--Christians above all others are responsible for how they respond to it.

One of my all time favourite verses speaks on this very matter. Deuteronomy 32:46-47: "Take to your heart all the words with which I am warning you today, which you shall command your sons to observe carefully, even all the words of this law. For it is not an idle word for you; indeed it is your life." These aren't just words that have no meaning--they are life! The Word of God is the very sustenance of the Christian. Without engaging in it and allowing God to convict you through it, Christians can never expect to grow.

Now comes the time where we must choose between rejecting the Word or receiving it.

See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity, in that I command you today to the love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgements, that you may live and multiply, and that the Lord your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it... I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days...

This quote is from Deuteronomy 30:15-16, 19-20. It makes it undeniably clear that we are to "in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save [our] souls" (James 1:21).

Do not take His Word lightly.

...a crooked world...

It's a little late for me to begin posting, but I feel compelled to type nonetheless...

As I sit here, pondering what to say, I happen to glance out the window to my left to see a hooded figure directly across the street from me. I quickly shut off the moniter of my computer lest I be seen by the mysterious man. I peek my head above the windowsill, just enough so that only my eyes and nose are showing. I watch him... He seems nervous and preoccupied. He jumps down from the steps of the house and stands at the edge of the sidewalk, facing the street (and, if he had looked up, directly facing me!). His quick, repetative glances left to right tell me that he's waiting for someone, something. He's on the guard, trying very hard to be in control of his surroundings, although I can't help but feel as I watch him that he knows something much bigger is in control, something much darker than this dimly lit block of the hood. A moment later and he's bounding back up the steps and into the house, leaving the door wide open in the night. He emerges shortly, holding something that I cannot see, and returns to his sentinal position. He looks left, he looks right, and I can't help but follow his gaze. I see no one, nothing in the darkness. I almost jump when I look back to him, for another shrouded character has joined him at his post. His back is to me, and the two engage in a short, animated conversation, during which the object procured by the sentinal is passed to the messenger. I know he's a messenger of some sort because the sentinal points to the left as if instructing or warning the other. For a brief, hair-raising moment, I feel eyes on me and fear that I've been spotted in my perch. I duck, hiding, fearful of reprecussions. To my relief, the two carry on, and I can watch again without worry. Their conversation abruptly ended, the messenger puts his head down and takes off to the left at a brisk pace--but not lending to an image of fear. He, too, wills to be in control of his environment. The sentinal goes back to the house, looks over his shoulder one last time, left and right, and then disappears inside. The street is left in it's empty silence once more, and I feel strangely alone.

After watching this confusing scene unfold, it strikes me that I can be so close to a world of such darkness, and yet so removed from it. Here in this house, I feel completely safe, almost untouchable. Whether or not that is a dangerous attitude, I do not know. If I had seen anything of the sort even a year ago, it would have led to penetrating thoughts of fear. Now I see the horror in the world around me, and I am not afraid. No, I'm not at the point where I am willing to walk out into that danger, but knowing it exists holds no horror for me now. It is not man who is my enemy (Eph. 6:12)...

I would write more on this topic, but it is dark, and I know all too well that only the Lord deserves to be dwelt upon. Even though this world is enslaved to a sin far too great to be properly discerned by man, I know the One who holds the key to death and Hades (Rev. 1:18). In Him alone will I put my trust.

the countdown is on...

chapter one: another chapter written

I am now officially done my first semester of college. I wrote my last exam today and managed to pull off an A-. Oh, I am so glad it's over. I felt so strange after I realized that I had no more work to do... it was almost like I was in shock. I've been like that all day. I'm neither here nor there, and I am definitely not feeling very sociable.

This last week has been one of the most stressful weeks ever! I am never confident that I will do well on any exam--I'm such a worrier! (Just so you know, I despise the term "worry wart". It's disgusting!) Now that the stress is gone, I'm just sad. I'm sad that life is going on and I'm growing up. I want to stay a kid and look forward to summer vacation all year until that antsy, nail-biting moment when you walk out of that school and think, "I'm free!" Unfortunately, I passed that stage a long time ago.

There's a certain concept of freedom that kids are able to understand, but adults never can. I want to spend the rest of my life soaking up the company of those I love, but I can't do that... Maybe I shouldn't be writing this while I'm in the depths of home-sickness!

Do you remember being a child during summer vacation? Falling asleep to the sound of crickets, the gentle wind blowing a cool breeze across your face from the open window, then waking up suddenly in what seems like seconds later from the intruding crash of thunder. Running bare-foot through cold grass, getting dizzy on the merry-go-round, touching the clouds while daddy gives you an "under-duck" on the swing. Nervously clutching your pillow at camp as you peer into the stuffy cabin that you will be your home for a week, pretending that you're "a big kid now" while saying goodbye to mommy, but not being quite sure how you'll cope without her.

Hmmm... there is a certain youthful joy that I miss when I remember the days of my childhood. Now I'm all misty-eyed because I know that I will never get to live them again.

Well, I suppose there is no sense in longing for the days that have passed. 48 hours from now I will be home, enjoying a tiny little piece of time with my family that won't be stolen by work or school or anything of the sort. I will jealously cling to this time that God has given me!

See you soon.

It's been a while...

Hello to all who read my blog. I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I actually didn't think it had been that long until I actually looked at the date of my last post .

Much has gone on in the last three weeks! I have been incredibly busy with writing papers, reading books, and going to end-of-semester parties. There have been so many demands on my time. Too much, I fear. I hardly have time to breathe, it seems. Now I find myself 15 hours away from my first of five final exams--what am I doing sitting at a computer, I ask myself. I don't even know how to answer that right now.

Yesterday I had the unpleasant experience of catching the flu. I think it's still lingering, and it has made me quite miserable! I've been homesick for the last two weeks, and this sickness is the icing on the cake. I want to go home! I want to be with my family and enjoy this warm weather. As good as it is to be here, I desire to be with those I love.

I've been contemplating a lot of things lately. I'm not a terribly introspective person, but I do get those moments where everything has some underlying meaning and I'm lost in the mystery of what that is. That's been my week. The topic on my mind: conviction. I know that Lord has put certain things on my heart--things I need to do, things I should abstain from, things I need to prepare for. It interests me how God gives His children different convictions. I can have strong views about something that a close friend will never share. Why is that? A lot of times it frustrates me--if the world just thought as I did, we'd all get along. Maybe God puts those people in my life to keep my feet on the ground. They remind me that I'm not as high and mighty as I'd like to think. I don't believe my convictions are wrong, and often I don't think my friend's convictions are wrong either. So what's the middle ground? Is there a middle ground? I'm a person that sees everything as black and white. Middle ground to me is a place where people lose their passion, where the Spirit is quenched. So how is it that I often don't see things as others see them, when they are Christians, too? Maybe it's because I major on the minors.

I'm still sifting through thoughts right now. I know where I stand on certain issues, and God has not given me any reason why I should be ashamed of my convictions. Now the tricky part is to find the place where I can speak the truth in love. I think that is one of the hardest commandments to follow--at least for me.

saved at golgotha

I'm back in Regina for a bit. It feels really good to be home! I was definitely ready to escape the busyness of Millar life, although I can hardly afford to spend time doing anything other than reading. Oh well... I suppose I'll just have to sleep after this semester is over.

It's Good Friday today, and I am shocked at how this special day is all but forgotten. I turned on the TV to see a crowd gathered around a TV station for a "Good Friday celebration". They were talking about watching what you eat and saving money! What has happened to this day? We are supposed to remember the One who died in our stead. It's not unusual to take a day to remember a loved one that has passed on, but to remember OUR SAVIOUR?!? Gasp! We can't waste our time thinking about that! (If you are sensing an heir of sarcasm, you are correct.)

I am so sad because the glory of the Lord has been forgotten... There on a hill He bled and died, for all to see. They scorned Him, spit on Him, cursed Him to the grave. It was the biggest injustice to ever occur, but that's what makes it so beautiful. Everyone understands that the guilty should pay their penalties, but Christ was sinless. He felt the whip for my selfish attitude... for the half-truth I told that person the other day. Where Satan kept bound, Christ set free. Just believe... just live for Him. He is God above, and He is worthy of all glory.

...and yet the world scoffs...

Oh, what would it take for this nation to remember the name of God?

{cheese}

My braces come off today.  I feel the urge to celebrate!

Spring is the revival of the world!

It's 10 degrees Celsius here. I think that's enough said! Oh, and I heard the familiar honking of a Canadian Goose returning from it's vacation. The world is waking up! Praise God for His faithful provision.

“As long as the earth endures,

seedtime and harvest,

cold and heat,

summer and winter,

day and night

will never cease.”

Genesis 8:22

clarity

In all of my confusion, all of my crying out to God for an answer of some kind, I have missed His divine voice. It doesn't get much clearer than this--to see the spectacular northern lights dancing before a pitch black backdrop, rippling across the sky. It is such a mystery to man, and yet we can witness it time and time again in breathless wonder. If you are silent, you can hear them singing praises to God. On those days, I can almost see the paintbrush of God. It assures me that I am nothing. In that moment, it is the most comforting thought in the world. I suppose God has been speaking to me in ways I have not expected, and I'm left wondering who am I to think that God is distant?

muddying the water

I was intending to blog something grand today, but now that I'm sitting here at this computer, I have no desire. That seems to be the story of my life, at least these days. I've got lots of good intentions, but they rarely come to pass. Maybe it's just laziness, or maybe it's something a little deeper. Whatever it is, it's got me down on myself. It's just so confusing! But that's what the enemy does, isn't it? He confuses, muddies the water, mixes black and white together. If you are reading this and you can identify in any way, it would be really nice to hear your side, to hear that I am not alone. I know there are things that run under the surface of those who follow Christ that need to be dealt with. Wearing a smile can only hide it for so long.

Don't walk away!

Let's take a stand against mediocrity... let's remember our First Love and press on. As Christians this is our duty! How much longer will God put up with such rebellion as is present in the church today? One day, He'll say, "ENOUGH" and set this whole generation on the shelf. Remember, out of the 620 000 Israelites led out of Egypt, only two were chosen to enter the Promised Land.

sidewalk chalk awareness

Every one of these pictures is done by chalk on a sidewalk (or a building). The perspective is INSANE! I'm in awe...

today is a good day

I am home! Four days of sweet time with family are mine. I love Millar, but it feels good to get out of the bubble for once.

Yesterday, my mom and I drove all the way to Brandon for a braces appointment. It's kind of annoying that I can't just go somewhere in Regina, but it's also good because I really love Manitoba. Anyways, I found out that I get my braces off on March 24! That's three months early... hooray! I'm super excited. And, after being super excited, we proceeded to drive all the way home. Grrr... when you know the landscape, the drive is very monotonous, especially the second time in one day.

Ahhhh... I'm so relaxed today. I've got so much time to get ready... and I'm going to go buy some pants! My favourite ones have surrendered to evil holes. I mourn their passing.

Anyways, I hope you all cherish this beautiful weekend!

Books for sale!

Would anyone like to purchase a book by none other than Millar's own Mr. Armstrong? It's called "The Lord Has Spoken--Understanding What Moses Wrote concerning Jesus of Nazareth". The cost is $20, and all proceeds go to Millar grads heading oversees for long-term missions. It's a really good book... easy to read, yet very deep. All I can say is that Mr. Armstrong's classes are extremely extremely good, and you should buy a book!

If you're interested, please let me know ASAP. If you live in Manitoba... well... we'll see.

Anyways, thought I'd just put that out there. Have a good day!

Voila!

My Acts exam went well today. There were a couple one point questions that I didn't know, but on the whole, I feel I did pretty good. Except that the last question was worth forty marks... how in the world can you write that much? I'm hoping that if I don't do well, everyone else won't either. Then it means Jorin might mark it on a curve. That would be good!

As for me, I think I'm getting sick. Many random people have been getting some random sickness, and I think I'm one of them. It could also be that I studied until midnight and then got up at 5:30. Yeah, I don't do too well with less than eight hours of sleep. Oh well. I can sleep when I'm dead.

On a brighter note, I get to go see my family this weekend! I have four days off, and I think I'm going to enjoy it immensely. Never mind that it's supposed to be my reading week. Let's party!

On that note... I'd better go get some reading done!

dum-dee-dum...

Hello, world!

It's me, Andrea... the one enveloped in a little valley somewhere in Saskatchewan. I feel so disconnected from everything. It's actually really freeing, in a way.

I'm pretty much wasting time right now. I have and Acts exam tomorrow, which I should be studying for. I was quite stressed out about it, but I came to the realization that if I myself am becoming more familiar with God and His wonderful word, then the mark I get isn't that important. It would be nice to do well, though.

There isn't too much new in my life right now. I'm just here, soaking up the word of God. I love the atmosphere here. I love talking about my Saviour!

My hair went into the most springy curls today. Odd. It's the middle of winter, and it's dryer than (insert witty comparison here). I wish it would do that when it actually matters.

My room is a disaster. I went to class today, took off my jacket, and a random t-shirt flew onto the floor. Apparently it was stuck in my jacket. How embarrassing! It could have been worse, though. I'll have you know that I do clean my room at least three times a week... I'm convinced that evil little dwarfs sneak into my room to have their bar-mitzvahs while I'm sleeping.

This post is going nowhere at the moment... and it probably won't while I'm feeling guilty about procrastinating.

Well, then... I guess that is all.

...splendor...

I look outside this morning
to see tall, warmly clothed evergreens
frosted in shimmering white.
Royal purple sky melts
into brilliant pink,
backdropping serene hills
quietly lapping at the edges
of this quaint little valley.
As the sky lightens
and the vibrant colours fade to pastel hues,
the edges of the giants of the prairies catch fire,
set ablaze by the enduring rays
of the morning sun.
It is one last dance,
a final measure in a beautiful concert
of divine music, unheard by man,
but absolutely deafening.
The whole creation sings praises
to the glorious name of the Great I Am,
and all the people can do
is stand in awe.

"Prepare to meet thy GOD"

It's Sunday today, in case any of you didn't know. Sundays at Millar are really relaxed, and I love them! I went to the Rhineland Community Fellowship today with quite a few other Millar people. It was really good, and I think I'm going to keep attending there. It reminds me of the small churches of my past!

While sitting in the service, I happened to glance up above the stage area to find the words "Prepare to meet thy God" in fancy letters secured to the wall. My first reaction was one of joy as I thought, "That's what I'm doing here, isn't it? I'm meeting with God. What a fantastic thought!" Isn't that what everyone wants when them come to church? To meet his/her God? I decided to look up this passage in Scripture to see the context, and what I found was very humbling. Instead of this quote being from a happy story of God and His people being in union, it was of Israel being disobedient and God pouring down His wrath on them. Then it hit me. It is no small thing to meet one's God. He is perfect and holy and sin cannot come into His presence. We are to come to the Lord ready to have our sins revealed, our masks torn off, our pride crushed. I am disgracing my Lord if I dare to think that what I'm doing on Sundays is meeting Him for coffee. No, I must prepare to meet my God.

whoops...

Okay, update on the last post... we are no longer campus'd, and I didn't get very much studying done because sleep seemed a little more pressing.

Jesus loves you!

campus'd

It's a blizzard out here in the sticks. Even in our little "world" of a valley, the wind is horrendous, the snow is blinding, and my hair's a mess! All off-site activities have been canceled, and we are officially "campus'd". That's not bad, though, considering that I don't even have a car and I have a zillion pages to read. I'm looking forward to this day of diligent studies!

Anyways, all you people out there on the roads, be careful.

"qerev"

I find myself in a place of rest, both physically and spiritually. There is nothing but God and the knowledge of Him. He is a God of comfort, a God unfathomable. Everything I know about Him is because He has shown me the grace to impart Himself to me. I know now that I must not come to Him empty-handed, but must, in the very least, always present my life. He is deeper than the depths of the oceans, and as beautifully untouchable as the stars. HE deserves my obedience. All I want in the world is to draw near to Him--qerev.

This boat is faith...

It's a melancholy thing to leave home. I'm really looking forward to going to school again, making new friends, and meeting God in a whole new way, but it's hard to see my room so empty and think, "Will I live here again?". I suppose it's all part of growing up, but I am not one that takes change with ease.

This will probably be my last post for a little while. I am about to set off in the boat of faith and I cannot look back. God will uphold me.

Here's a story that I posted quite a ways back, but it completely says what I am about to face.

The Future. It is looming before me like a great ocean; it's waters untested, it's depth unknown, it's length a mystery.

I find myself desperately wanting to plunge in and experience all it has to offer, to leave the land behind and immerse myself in what I do not yet know--how glorious it would be to indulge, to soak the gleaming waters in! Yet at the same time, I cling to the land. It is strong and solid beneath my feet. It represents the life I know, the certainty of what I have accomplished. I could bask in this sunshine, live a life of ease and never even dip my toes into the mysterious waters, but that would be like choosing to stay inside an unlocked cage for the rest of my life. The land is what has prepared me to face the water, and if I refused to go where life is leading me, I would soon know what it is to be truly miserable.As I stand on the edge and hear the luring waves beating at the rocks, I realize that I am standing by a boat. It is nothing elaborate and is only big enough to carry me alone. I cannot help but laugh at the idea of setting out on the beckoning waters in such a simple craft when I could dive in and soak up all that the world has to offer me. My laughter fades as the boat keeps my attention. It's small, yet it seems strong... unable to be penetrated. I can hear the calm water close to me, but I know of the deep undercurrents that run further away from the shore. What lies beneath that glassy surface? Doubt begins to build in my mind as I think of how alone and unprotected I would be if I stepped into those waters.Suddenly the boat appeals to me, even though I could just as easily be thrown into the water if I set off in it. I walk over to it, grab the sides, and nervously begin to climb in. But wait!!! I recall the land and all I have accomplished and I cannot bear to leave it behind. I hesitate a moment, then quickly run and grab my favorite rock. I feel satisfied with myself and climb into the boat with confidence, clutching my rock.No sooner have I stepped in when the boat tips and my rock slips from my arms onto the beach. Thinking it my own error, I grab the rock and try again, with the same results.Flustered, I kick the boat and crumple down onto the beach. I don't understand why I can't take my past experiences with me, why I can't hold onto them without tipping the boat. I am confused and just about to decide to stay on the land for good when I feel a gentle nudge and hear a calming voice guiding me towards the simple boat."This boat is faith. Faith to set out on the waters, faith to let Christ uphold you, faith to go where My will takes you. You cannot trust in what you have done and still have complete faith in Me. You must step into this boat completely, or not at all. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. Place your hope in My promise and step into ME."I feel the tears running down my face as I step into the boat, shaking. "Forgive me, Lord. My faith is in You. May Your will be done."

I am so blessed to be His child.