It's a melancholy thing to leave home. I'm really looking forward to going to school again, making new friends, and meeting God in a whole new way, but it's hard to see my room so empty and think, "Will I live here again?". I suppose it's all part of growing up, but I am not one that takes change with ease.
This will probably be my last post for a little while. I am about to set off in the boat of faith and I cannot look back. God will uphold me.
Here's a story that I posted quite a ways back, but it completely says what I am about to face.
The Future. It is looming before me like a great ocean; it's waters untested, it's depth unknown, it's length a mystery.
I find myself desperately wanting to plunge in and experience all it has to offer, to leave the land behind and immerse myself in what I do not yet know--how glorious it would be to indulge, to soak the gleaming waters in! Yet at the same time, I cling to the land. It is strong and solid beneath my feet. It represents the life I know, the certainty of what I have accomplished. I could bask in this sunshine, live a life of ease and never even dip my toes into the mysterious waters, but that would be like choosing to stay inside an unlocked cage for the rest of my life. The land is what has prepared me to face the water, and if I refused to go where life is leading me, I would soon know what it is to be truly miserable.As I stand on the edge and hear the luring waves beating at the rocks, I realize that I am standing by a boat. It is nothing elaborate and is only big enough to carry me alone. I cannot help but laugh at the idea of setting out on the beckoning waters in such a simple craft when I could dive in and soak up all that the world has to offer me. My laughter fades as the boat keeps my attention. It's small, yet it seems strong... unable to be penetrated. I can hear the calm water close to me, but I know of the deep undercurrents that run further away from the shore. What lies beneath that glassy surface? Doubt begins to build in my mind as I think of how alone and unprotected I would be if I stepped into those waters.Suddenly the boat appeals to me, even though I could just as easily be thrown into the water if I set off in it. I walk over to it, grab the sides, and nervously begin to climb in. But wait!!! I recall the land and all I have accomplished and I cannot bear to leave it behind. I hesitate a moment, then quickly run and grab my favorite rock. I feel satisfied with myself and climb into the boat with confidence, clutching my rock.No sooner have I stepped in when the boat tips and my rock slips from my arms onto the beach. Thinking it my own error, I grab the rock and try again, with the same results.Flustered, I kick the boat and crumple down onto the beach. I don't understand why I can't take my past experiences with me, why I can't hold onto them without tipping the boat. I am confused and just about to decide to stay on the land for good when I feel a gentle nudge and hear a calming voice guiding me towards the simple boat."This boat is faith. Faith to set out on the waters, faith to let Christ uphold you, faith to go where My will takes you. You cannot trust in what you have done and still have complete faith in Me. You must step into this boat completely, or not at all. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. Place your hope in My promise and step into ME."I feel the tears running down my face as I step into the boat, shaking. "Forgive me, Lord. My faith is in You. May Your will be done."
I am so blessed to be His child.
