I’m afraid that my heart doesn’t default to seeking God. I really wish it would. I wish the first thing I thought when I or my children get sick was to immediately bring my worry to the Lord in prayer instead of worrying myself sick(er). The truth is that as soon as I feel my family is threatened, I manifest a very selfish “woe is me” attitude. I think (and think and think) about how I can right the situation, how much worse things can get, how I feel so helpless. And then I wallow.

Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure this is not what God desires for me. I’m not going to say that if you call on the Lord, everything will get better almost instantly, that you’ll experience some supernatural healing because God’s your own personal genie in a bottle (that, friends, is blasphemy!). The only thing that is promised us if we call on the Lord is to a peace “which surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

I think it is infinitely more beautiful to be fully trusting in the goodness of God in the midst of hardships than trying to play a “get out of jail free” card  every time we are pushed out of our comfort zones. Now, if only I could remember this in the darkest moments and trust that none of these things has escaped God’s notice…

raining on my own parade

Dear Readers,

It's not that exciting things aren't happening in this house. They are.

It's not that I'm depressed and unable to write anything happy and worth reading. I'm not.

It's not that I no longer see the value in putting my thoughts to words. I do.

Here's the thing: I'm sick of tooting my own horn. I feel like, somewhere along the line, this blog has transitioned from my own, unique little soapbox to the place where it seems like I'm always behind and always out of ideas. It's a place where I'm constantly trying to keep up with my idea of what a blogger should be...

Real bloggers post regularly. 

Real bloggers try to engage their readers.

Real bloggers have an aesthetically-pleasing blog. 

Real bloggers do everything themselves.

Real bloggers thrill to share their wealth of DIYing wisdom with the uneducated masses.

Real bloggers have an Etsy shop. What's more, a successful Etsy shop.

Real bloggers' pictures are never blurry, 

their posts are never more than four paragraphs,

they never ramble, they're always eloquent...

and even their bedhead is fashionable. 

It's kind of ridiculous to look at that list and realize that I have been "ensnared" by this mainstream blog hysteria! Not that I have been successful in replicating these things... but I stress over them all the same.

NO. MORE.

I am fed up with myself for being so caught up in this narcissistic* fad. As a Christian, a child of God, there should be ONE person and ONE goal of everything I do: to bring glory to the Lord God. By constantly posting my successes, the beauty of my life, the things I do in a day, or even the things my kids do in a day that I find so clever/endearing/noteworthy/above-the-rest, I can't really say that I've been doing that. 

So. I'm here to tell you that this blog will still endure, but you'll notice a domain change sometime in the near future (I'll keep you posted). You can expect infrequency, but you can also expect a little more depth than this blog has been characterized by as of late. 

It's a terrifying thing to imagine standing before the judgment seat of Christ and only being able to say "Look, Lord, see my blog?"

"He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).


---


*At the core of extreme narcissism is egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, needs, success, and how he/she is perceived by others. (from psychcentral.com)

the following images are brought to you by my iPod

Oh, hi. 

Benjamin finally got over his sickness and cut three teeth. He is NOT over his separation-anxiety.

I've decided to to try my hand at quilting.

The dog killed a turkey. And left bits of it all around our yard.

Judah's been enjoying books lately.

Benjamin likes hummus.

Totes are NOT for sleeping in.

IT IS SPRING.