homebodies
in the heart of the sea
Anxiety creeps into my days, unbidden. It is a thief, a robber.
In the midst of the happiest of moments, it raises it's scratchy voice and breathes, "Remember. Remember all the ways this could go wrong. Remember how you failed in the past. Remember all the ways you could fail today. Remember, you will fail tomorrow."
It greedily sucks the oxygen out of the atmosphere, and my heart pumps rapidly, endeavouring to make up for the deficit.
Panic swells and looms overhead: I am so very close to losing it. My composure; my freedom; my joy; they flit away and it is as if they never were. I am a slave to fear.
All sense and logic have been excluded. They are meaningless. I cower. I am doomed to forever exist in this place of helplessness.
But then, a whisper rises from an unexpected source. It is barely audible at the start, but it grows in volume until it is a chorus, a mighty roar of life.
Remember. Remember that I am sovereign. Remember that I have forgiven you. Remember that I have triumphed over sin and death. Remember that I am at your side, even now. Remember that I will never leave you or forsake you.
Inexplicably, Your word has broken through like the dawn. My mouth opens, and sweet air rushes in. I can breathe again. I can breathe.
How? How has this faith come to me? I was dead. There was no more me. And yet? here I am. Breathing. Alive. Redeemed.
Saved.
You have saved me. It was not me. It could never have come from me.
It was you.
You are my refuge; You are my hope. Oh, Lord. Your grace is more than I could have ever hoped for. You have given me faith, and I cling to You like a lifeline.
When the darkness falls again, as I know it must, I will look for You. Give me the faith to look for You. Strengthen me to hold on when the whole world pitches and sways around me and I forget which way is up.
My only hope is
You.
In the midst of the happiest of moments, it raises it's scratchy voice and breathes, "Remember. Remember all the ways this could go wrong. Remember how you failed in the past. Remember all the ways you could fail today. Remember, you will fail tomorrow."
It greedily sucks the oxygen out of the atmosphere, and my heart pumps rapidly, endeavouring to make up for the deficit.
Panic swells and looms overhead: I am so very close to losing it. My composure; my freedom; my joy; they flit away and it is as if they never were. I am a slave to fear.
All sense and logic have been excluded. They are meaningless. I cower. I am doomed to forever exist in this place of helplessness.
But then, a whisper rises from an unexpected source. It is barely audible at the start, but it grows in volume until it is a chorus, a mighty roar of life.
Remember. Remember that I am sovereign. Remember that I have forgiven you. Remember that I have triumphed over sin and death. Remember that I am at your side, even now. Remember that I will never leave you or forsake you.
Inexplicably, Your word has broken through like the dawn. My mouth opens, and sweet air rushes in. I can breathe again. I can breathe.
How? How has this faith come to me? I was dead. There was no more me. And yet? here I am. Breathing. Alive. Redeemed.
Saved.
You have saved me. It was not me. It could never have come from me.
It was you.
You are my refuge; You are my hope. Oh, Lord. Your grace is more than I could have ever hoped for. You have given me faith, and I cling to You like a lifeline.
When the darkness falls again, as I know it must, I will look for You. Give me the faith to look for You. Strengthen me to hold on when the whole world pitches and sways around me and I forget which way is up.
My only hope is
You.
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