Poor little Benji has contracted whatever illness the rest of us have been afflicted with for two weeks (has it really been that long?!). He's been extremely fussy over the last two days, partially because he is teething, and partially because his tummy is angry. At least, that is what we are assuming. It's so hard to figure out what's wrong with babies when they can't say "tummy hurt!". All Ben can do is wail - and wail he does.

Last night was the climax of it all. He was up every two to three hours (which, really, was the "norm" not that long ago) and refused to be consoled by anything we tried. He wouldn't even nurse. I don't know about you, but the most helpless I have ever felt is when I have a distraught baby and no power to calm him down. When it's 3:00 in the morning, your baby is clawing at you and screaming in your face, and you can't get him to nurse, it's difficult to believe that the world is not ending. 

Today I am using a wonderful little trick called "Turn On The TV" to help keep his mind off his troubles. So far? so good! He's actually crawling around and entertaining himself! I can make eye contact with him without fearing that he's going to burst out wailing. He seems to be back to his ever-pleasant, heart-winning, contented little self. 

This mama? is thanking Jesus for the grace to face another day.

the simple things

Judah got a haircut today and it made him happy. 

That is all.

"Take your foot and step in it!"

That title makes me laugh. It's something I heard a motivational speaker say, intended to encourage women to take that first step to change... but... wow. Bad news. 

Anyways. 

Here's a little tidbit of information that I'm sure will come as a complete shock to you: Having a baby is hard on a woman's body. I know, your whole world has been rocked, hasn't it?

Sigh. Even though I handle pregnancy very well (I love being pregnant!), even though I've had no real trouble giving birth, this whole process has taken it's toll on my body. You see, with my first pregnancy I'm pretty sure I submitted to the "I can eat whatever I want because I'm pregnaaaant!" camp - at least until sugar started to make me feel sick. And then, when I was completely overwhelmed with how life was turned on it's head after the Cuteness was born, I could not be bothered with attempting to loose the 23 pounds that didn't disappear when I pushed a baby out. Then, badabing badabang! I was pregnant again! Losing weight was out of the question, so I determined that I would avoid sugar as much as possible. Instead of gaining the 40 pounds that I did with Judah, I gained a mere 17 (which put me at the same end-of-pregnancy weight as the first one). I counted it as a "fresh start" to getting healthy. 

But...

Surprise! It still takes work to get healthy! Instead of sitting and bemoaning my gelatinous state, I took one very small step to getting healthy: I purchased a work-out DVD. Before you laugh at the images of side-leg lifts and step aerobics that "work-out DVD" conjurs in your mind,  let me specify what kind of DVD this is. Jillian Michaels (one of the fitness trainers from "The Biggest Loser") has a 20-minute, 30-day workout plan that is designed to produce fast results because of the intensity of the workout. I have long since discovered that any exercise I do needs to be time-effective and to-the-point. It also needs to be easy on my knees/ankles, which are very weak and prone to spraining. This DVD was $12 on Amazon, and with a mere 20 minute time commitment every day, I was certain I could afford both. 

I have only been able to complete the workout a handful of times (thanks to various ailments I am certain you do not want to hear about), but I am ALREADY seeing results. My endurance has increased, I can actually do push-ups now for the first time in my life, my squats are getting deeper and easier, and...(wait for it)... I have lost seven pounds! This is a kick-start into fitness if there ever was one.

Along with exercising regularly, I am attempting to implement some small (but effective) diet changes. Key word: attempting. I love food way too much (yes, it is nearing idolatry levels), but I'm also conscious of the fact that I am still breastfeeding and can't go all "rice patties for breaky/lunch/supper/SNACK!" all at once (wouldn't that be an awful diet!).

Here are some of my changes: 

Swap out grains for fruits/veggies/protiens when appropriate. I have found that eating a grapefruit and a couple hard-boiled eggs in the morning is a GREAT start to my day - much better than having jam-and-butter-laden toast (like I had this morning). Quinoa is also a great, healthy, and satisfying alternative to those empty carbs. This does not mean I never consume carbs (see above parentheses). 

Lay off the seconds. If I change nothing else, at least I can keep myself from a second helping of white rice and ginger beef (and let me tell you, that takes a lot of will power for me).

Forget about dessert. Yeah, that one's pretty obvious. But, seriously, after every meal I'm looking for the sweet thing to finish it off. If I really need something, I can have a yogurt cup, another grapefruit, or coffee (I don't know why coffee seems like a dessert to me, but it does). 

Come to think of it, I don't really know why I'm sharing this with all of you. Perhaps this will help to keep me accountable? I really don't know. I'm not planning on keeping you informed on how much I've lost or what I've eaten, etc. At the very least, if you are also a new mom who's a bit discouraged about the jiggles that exist where a jiggle never dared set foot before, then you can be encouraged that you are not alone, and that there are some easy options to start down the road to getting your body back (whatever that means).

through his eyes

Judah does so many things in a day that make Joey and I crack up.

I was listening to my daily four hours of classical music (Thanks, CBC Radio 2), when an uncommonly doomy and gloomy song came on. Judah ran over to the radio, exclaiming “Oh no! Oh no!” and proceeded to mash buttons until he got it to stop.

Judah has this never failing hope that we have “cakes” in our fridge. When he’s asking for something to eat, you can be assured that he will ask you for “cakes”. I’m not entirely sure what he is referring to, but it makes me laugh every time. Then he laughs. I told him that we are not hobbits, therefore we don’t keep a constant supply of cakes laying around.

If you ever come to visit us, I must warn you that when you hear him exclaim “TATCH!”, you are about to get something whipped at your face. Do not fear, it’s usually soft – but I make no promises. 

Judah is in the information-overload-toddler stage. This means that everything anybody does is get’s a live-coverage narration. “Wash-a-hans, Mommy. Wash-a-hans? Mommy wash-a-hans!” It is entirely too cute. He’s putting things together in his mind, and he just can’t help but let it escape from his mouth.

Upon hearing a baby wailing in Walmart the other day, Judah went into big-brother-fix-it mode. “Nap time? Nap time?” he asked, cocking his head to one side and looking at me intently. “You’re right. Maybe that baby needs a nap time” I responded. He looked back at the crying child, then back at me. “Change a bum?” The way his little voice gets so high when he’s asking a question is amusing. “Yeah, maybe he needs a bum change.” As I was obviously unwilling to go change a stranger’s baby’s diaper, Judah had to endure listening to the unresolved cries until we left. I think it nearly did him in.

And then, on this gloomy day when he wasn’t really feeling 100%, he decided that he did not need lunch and went and put himself down for a nap.

Oh, my little baby, you are quickly becoming a person all your own.

I think things are back to normal.

Poor Little.

When you're a starry-eyed newlywed couple that's just about to have a baby, you don't think of days like this. All you can think about is how amazing it will feel to be parents and have a family of your own. When that little baby is born, you think "This is perfect! This is what I was meant to be!". You know in your heart that you will do absolutely anything for your children, that life will never be the same again.

On days like today, I don't regret my choice to have children, even though I've had to clean up various bodily fluids that make me gag just thinking of them. Hands can be washed, I say to myself. On days like today, I don't wish for life to be the way it used to, even though I've had one boy puking on the toilet while the other screamed in his crib because he had a soaking diaper, was hungry, and wanted out. On the contrary, as I'm rubbing my frightened and sad toddler on the back while his tummy ejects its contents, as I fetch a distraught eight-month-old from his temporary prison, as I change the sheets for the third time, I realize that I am thankful. No, this isn't what I imagined when I said to Joey with a gleam in my eye, "Let's have a baby!"  (although it certainly was and is bound to happen), but I find that this new realization of parenthood fits me so well. When things start to get messy and my mothering instincts kick in, sometimes I catch myself thinking "This is just what I was meant to be", and although I do not welcome the presence of this sickness, it gives me the chance to be thankful for the job God has both given me and equipped me for.

Here's hoping this little boy is feeling better tomorrow!

those devilish little pearly whites

I call this one "Teething" :

Can't you just imagine the volume that accompanies this picture? 

Sigh. Benji is in full-on teething mode. He cut a tooth sometime last week, which has not brought any relief because there's at least one more tooth that has yet to break the skin. He is screechy, impatient, and grumpy. He wants to eat all the time. He never seems to get into a deep sleep, so he's exhausted (and exhausting).

Despite all of that, he's still my precious little baby boy. He still gives awesome smiles and contented cuddles. I heart him ever so much.

In other news, Joey and I decided to throw in the towel on the boys sharing a room - at least for the time being. It was a party in there! every night! until 9:30! and it made the boys grumpy to match! They just love each other way too much to sleep, which is a bitter-sweet problem to have. So now the "office" has been moved to our (admittedly massive) bedroom, and our sleepy-time routines have been reestablished. Hooray for normalcy!

Seriously. As soon as I think I've "figured out" this parenting thing, a wrench is thrown into the situation and suddenly I feel like I have a newborn again. I am so very thankful that God (through His word) has been giving me the strength to face each day. Never have I been more aware of His provision than I am now. I am also so very thankful for my husband - my bestest friend and constant support!

as I wait for my husband to get home

Today I felt overwhelmed right from the get-go. Joey left for work 15 minutes early (and let me tell you, I noticed every second of those 15 minutes), wasn't able to come home for lunch, stopped by for half an hour in the afternoon, and has not been home since (it's now 9:45).

I know from experience that days like today aren't usually my favourite, and today was no exception. I felt exhausted and weepy for the better portion of the day. Still, even though I was in a decidedly melancholy mood due to the absence of my husband, there were moments of great joy that burst through at the most unexpected times - and it just so happens that we caught some of them on camera!

Benjamin was a fan of the spinach/banana puree I decided to try out on him. He looks skeptical in this picture, but if he could, he would tell you that it was a highlight of his day, I'm sure.

Judah was ever so pleased to have his daddy home, even though it was for such a short time.

I seriously love this kid's big blue eyes. So different than my own... so beautiful!

The evening sun was beautiful, as usual. I took a moment to give our dog some lovin'. 

  Some of the awesome things about today?

• Both of my babies were in bed and ASLEEP by 7:15 PM
• There were leftovers for lunch (a rarity)
• I watched and was moved by one of my favourite Jane Austen novels depicted through film
• There were monster cookies to be found and consumed by yours truly
• the Word of God is AWESOME and ALIVE
• Judah and I were besties

Some of the not-so-awesome things about today?

• Benji is teething and ever so cross
• I changed SIX poopy diapers
• I miss my husband
• ...

And would you look at that! The good definitely outweighs the bad and I am definitely not to be pitied. :)

there's plenty love to go around...

...when the grandparents are around!

overhwelming

It's when my babies look at me like this that I realize I am the luckiest girl on the planet.

there are no "little" things

A friend emailed me a link to this article today. It was a source of encouragement to this stay-at-home-mom on this very average, "little" day. I hope you find encouragement from it!

You can visit Ingrid Schlueter's blog here. 

****

Little Things (When Done In Love)

The world celebrates things done on a grand scale, the building of big things and awesome places, and it celebrates “great people” who have powerful connections, impressive credentials and great influence as celebrities.

My son and I had a conversation last night about how very differently Jesus viewed things. The disciples told the mothers of young children to get lost when they brought their little ones to Jesus for a blessing. Why would a great teacher have time for someone’s squalling brats? Be gone, women. He has bigger fish to fry.

Instead, our Savior took the children in his arms. He told his arrogant disciples that unless they became like the little ones in their simple faith, they would never see the Kingdom of God. (Matthew 18:3)

We often scorn little things in our lives, the mundane, the seemingly worthless things we do, day in and day out. The cleaning of a kitchen or bathroom, the changing of a diaper on a baby, shopping for groceries. Yet no act is meaningless when it is done in love.

Mothers know that the eye contact made with little ones while a diaper is being changed triggers some of the biggest, sweetest smiles. Augustine once said of his mother, “I would have perished a thousand times in my own filth without her care.” It really isn’t such a little thing after all, caring for a baby. Every touch and every contact with a child is a chance to ensure that child knows they are cherished, and that helps them grow.

It’s amazing what little things come into our lives from others that aren’t little at all. In the last year, I cannot tell you the number of times someone has sent me an email right at the moment when I needed encouragement. I received one from Germany a few weeks ago, and just last week, one from Northern Ireland. They were listeners who once heard me on the radio program I co-hosted. They just thanked me for the work I had done and told me what it had meant to them in their lives. The times I think that I wasted 20-some years of my life are always interrupted by a “little thing”—a kind note from someone that made all the difference, and I know it was God’s hand of kindness through people.

The example set by our Savior was unmistakable as you read through the Gospels. What you begin to see is that there are no “little things” in God’s economy when they are done in love. The woman at the well had a little conversation with Jesus – a woman he wasn’t even supposed to speak with as she was a Samaritan (and one who was co-habiting after numerous failed marriages.) That “little” conversation offered the woman eternal life — living water that would never let her thirst again. Many lives were touched in her village, because she carried that joyful message to all who would listen.

No matter how unimportant you think your life is, the little things you do matter. I have a friend I have known since high school. She has been in a wheelchair from a motor neuron disease since just after college. She lives in assisted care due to the progression of her disease. But thanks to Facebook, she is able to share music. My friend posts beautiful music videos that bless everybody who will listen. We swap music videos, and she occasionally posts on my facebook wall, “more music!” Together, we enjoy God’s blessing of music. She blesses my life.

The phone rang at home the other day. It was a very difficult day in many ways. At the other end of the line was a family friend of many years. “Just checking on you guys, seeing how you are doing…” A call at the right moment from someone who cares. What a head lifter! A “little” thing that wasn’t little at all.

What little thing can we do today that will serve someone around us? Every time I get impatient with the demands of a toddler, now nearly a preschooler, I am reminded of the example of our Lord. He could have so easily sent the mothers with children away. He had the credentials as a Big Person. But for all time He modeled for us what really matters, and He showed us how it is done when He took those babes in His arms and blessed them.

There is an old song with these words:

Does the place you’re called to labor

Seem too small and little known?

It is great if God is in it,

And He’ll not forget His own.

****
this is a re-post of an article written by Ingrid Schlueter at "the Hope Blog".