Here I am, blogging my evening away while LOTR The Two Towers, Disc 2 plays in the background.  Joey frolics past, grabs my empty plate that once held delicious homemade pizza, then frolics back to the kitchen.  He stops briefly, lip-syncs what Gollum happens to be saying at the moment, to which I respond with a look of fright.  Undaunted, he continues with his task at hand: making mochas.  Soon he will bring one over to me with with an air of triumph and sit down by my side.  I’ll ooh and aah over it, as always, and then we’ll commence playing Scrabble while King Theoden despairs in Helm’s Deep. 

I stare off into nothingness as I reflect on the year past.  My gaze wanders over to Joey, who says “what?” in a slightly goofy (but not abnormal) voice, folds his hands, and looks at me with a childish smile.  I’m in love with a man.  And that man has been my husband for one whole year—a small victory and wonderful blessing to be outweighed by a lifetime together. I am forever grateful for God’s gift of marriage.

37 weeks: full-term!

This baby WILL come within the next five weeks.  It WILL happen.  Eek!

What’s different this week: baby’s movements are becoming even more painful than before—shocker.  Stretch-marks are covering my poor belly like the plague.  And, surprise surprise, sleeping is really difficult.  The dreams are even more insane (as if it were possible!), intense, and COMPLETELY RANDOM.  Example: yesterday I saw some cheap book covers in Dollarama (or “Doll R Ma” in Plap) and distinctly remembered dreaming about them a couple nights ago.  I think I was last in Dollarama at least two or three months ago.  Strange… Nothing escapes the dreamer’s scope, apparently. 

I am so exhausted and brain dead that I can’t think of much else to write.  Hey, I see that little bum!  You must be a smart kid, because you’re already in position.  Getting ready to come out? soon? PLEASE?  Thanks for your consideration.  I’ll be waiting. 

A more intelligent post to come later.  Maybe. 

this early bird despises the worm

I don’t know if I’m officially into the “nesting” stage of pregnancy yet. I actually think I’ve been nesting for a whole year, being a newlywed and all. And, considering that we’ve already lived in 4 different places, I think I’ve had plenty of reason to obsessively nest. At any rate, keeping things clean and in order is high on my priority list these days. Our house is small, so continuous organization is kind of a must. At this point I can proudly say that all of baby’s things are in order, and we would be able to function quite comfortably should baby come, say, tomorrow. Gulp…

Joey and I got a tour of the maternity ward in the Brandon Regional Health Centre yesterday. It’s fairly new and very well set up. I won’t go as far as saying I’m excited to give birth there, but I’m pleased we have access to such a facility. The midwife that was supposed to give us the tour was actually at a birth, so another midwife on our team was our guide. I’ve met all three of our midwives and I think I’m going to be very comfortable with whichever one is on call when the big event takes place. (Here we pause for a moment of slight panic. Fear not, readers, these moments pass quickly…)

That pretty much sums up my news for now. I leave you with random pictures of our not-so-random life.

I think knitting like crazy falls under the category of "nesting". I just finished this afghan yesterday!

We got our new phil&teds stroller in the mail the other day. See? Pretty!

Sheba's being a naughty kitty and spreading things all over the floor.

Joey and I have discovered that we share a love for Scrabble. Strange, isn't it?

the power trips start young

Baby has no room in there. Movements have become really uncomfortable, and I’m convinced that it wants OUT! How soon will baby come? Who knows? It’s annoying to think that it has a 5 1/2 week window for coming. I just wish I could count down the days, the hours, the minutes even! Joey and I are all anticipation. We’ve got everything we need for a good start. As much as I want baby NOW, it wouldn’t be that nice for the whole toboggan hill aspect of VVBC. It would mean getting a lot of volunteers to take over for Joey for a week or so. I’m sure there will be a lot of willing people in the area, though. MacGregor’s good for that. Nevertheless, I’m still impatient. And I’m thinking, maybe, just maybe, baby is too.

36 weeks

Only a month or so stand between my baby and my arms.  That’s so hard to believe!  When we fist found out we were pregnant, it felt like nine months would be an unbearably long time to wait for our baby.  First of all, it hasn’t been unbearable—on the contrary, it’s been rather necessary.  My swelling abdomen and growing discomfort are very sober reminders of the quite serious task Joey and I will soon be taking on.  I’m glad for the time to think, read, pray, and make general preparations for the new little family member.  I’m pretty sure many couples would throw in the towel if it was more like BAM! there’s a baby!  Nine months is God’s gift to expectant mothers and fathers. 

So what makes week 36 different from other weeks?  Well, for starters, my baby, if it would be born today (shudder!) would no longer be considered premature.  That is amazingly comforting to know.  God is faithful.  As opposed to previous weeks, this week is starting to bring a lot more “gulp!” moments and day-dreaming.  I find myself seeing a baby that isn’t there so often that I’m slightly worried about my mental health.  Not only is it kind of fun to envision my baby, but it also gives me the opportunity to get into the mindset of mothering before the actual event.  It’s neat how God prepares a mother’s heart.

Today, however, I’m slightly frustrated (only slightly) with miscommunication.  Joey and I have not been looking for any prenatal classes to join because we were assured that one would be starting up in January right in MacGregor.  Well, January is almost over, and we had no news of any such classes taking place.  After a little investigation, I found out that there aren’t enough pregnant couples to warrant a class, so no steps have been taken to plan one.  Our public health nurse (we’ll call her PHN) phoned to see if I could get in on some classes in Portage, but, alas, there are none taking place until March/April.  That might be a little late… :)  I know that prenatal classes are not the only way a person can get educated about the new life being thrust at her, but they are highly recommended.  Thankfully, our PHN is kind enough to offer classes to Joey and I.  I feel a little bad for making her give up some of her evenings… but she HAD assured me previously that classes would start in January, so I guess she kind of owes it to us. 

Any more “news” I could share becomes fairly trivial and uninteresting now.  I’m determined to take these last 4 + weeks easy.  Rest is important to a pregnant lady, you see.  I have no other plans today other than to wash the last few baby items, drink tea, and finish reading a book—and start another.  At least I now have a cat AND a baby to keep me company. 

still abnormal

I think it’s about time for the “things I look forward to after pregnancy” post.

• learning all about my baby, of course
• getting back into clothes that do not accommodate for baby bellies
• wearing my wedding rings again ON my finger
• forsaking the incessant urge to pee
• riding my sadly neglected bicycle
• sleeping on my back without feeling like there’s a bowling ball on my pelvis
• being able to bake without getting flour all over my belly
• the cessation of my involuntary belly dance (aka baby’s kicks)
• enjoying farmer sausage again (I hope!)
• sharing the baby with Joey instead of hoarding it to myself, which I can’t really help right now :)

Life, once again, is going to be very different for us.  Thank God that He knows and sees and plans all things!

Well, off to get ready for the day.  I have another midwife appointment today.  Hopefully all goes well!

the waiting game

My husband is currently making French toast.  On a Tuesday morning!  He says that he’s just using up stale bread, but I believe that he is the most wonderful man on the face of the planet and he simply loves being good to me.  I love this guy!

Well, I’ve officially enrolled myself in the waiting game.  Even though I’m only 35 weeks and 3 days along, my gut feeling is “be prepared for anything!”.  I might be a little anxious.  Just a little.  But I think that it’s better to live with an awareness of what could happen than to live in ignorance and be caught off guard.

Wait a second—doesn’t that apply to the Christian’s life?  “..it’s better to live with an awareness of what could happen (i.e. Christ returning like a thief in the night) than to live in ignorance and be caught off guard”?  I’m reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 24 regarding the very subject of His return.

No One Knows That Day and Hour
36 "But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son,  but the Father only.
37  As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.
38  For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark,
39 and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.
40 Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left.
41  Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left.
42 Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.
43  But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into.
44 Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
45 "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time?
46  Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes.
47 Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions.
48 But if that wicked servant says to himself, 'My master is delayed,'
49 and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards,
50 the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know (Matt 24:36-50, ESV , emphasis mine).

How can we really be prepared for the coming of our Lord?  Vv 45-46 state that we must be wise and faithful to carry out all that God has appointed to us.  Come to think of it, I don’t think I have really been living with a daily awareness that my Lord could be coming at any given moment of the day.  I’m reminded of a previous post I wrote entitled “a faithless fig tree”.  I don’t want to be like that fig tree and have my Lord look for fruit and find none. 

I challenge you, followers of Christ, to seriously evaluate the state of your lives.  Are you living for pleasure (for yourself), or are you living in a constant state of readiness for the coming of Christ (for the Lord)?  Ask the Lord what he requires of you, and he will be faithful to reveal all.  Don’t be like that fig tree—caught unaware and cursed by the Lord God himself.

How thankful I am for the whole process of pregnancy and the conviction that I need to be anticipating Christ’s return with greater joy and fervor than I have anticipating my own child. 

yet another pregnancy post

My timeline scares me…

I am pleased to announce that Joey and I are officially “ready” to welcome baby into our home! We made a trip into Winnipeg to get some last essentials, such as the AMP All-in-two diapering system, a functional diaper bag, and mommy-to-be necessities. I’m so thankful we have the money to buy these things. I think we’ll be nickel and diming it after this point, though. This fist year of marriage has made for a lot of money-spending—albeit necessary money-spending. I think we are finally settled—SETTLED! Hurrah!

Shopping is hard work when you’re 8-ish months pregnant. I don’t have very good feet to begin with, and now they are carrying X amount of extra weight, plus they are swelling like no one’s business. Needless to say, my feet are very eager to make their services scarce today. And it’s not just feet that make shopping hard. There’s a little human inside of me that not-so-gently reminds me of it’s existence on a regular basis by playing my ribs like a xylophone and bouncing on my bladder like a trampoline. I have a new found appreciation for janitors that take bathroom cleaning seriously.

Yesterday was also an anniversary celebration of sorts. We have nearly been married a year! I think I’ll post a more thorough assessment of this past year closer to January 31st, if you don’t mind. We figured that getting to Winnipeg in the next two weeks might be no small challenge, and I’d rather stay close to home base at this point. I’m determined to deliver in Brandon! Baby may have other plans, though. At any rate, we took the opportunity to go to our favorite restaurant, Yujiro. Yes, that’s Japanese. Yes, we ate sushi. And, yes, I ate raw fish. Gasp! Rake me over the coals, if you wish, but I’m not worried. I have a higher chance of getting food poisoning from McDonalds than from our sterile little restaurant. Our waitress, a small Japanese lady, made sure I was okay with eating what we had ordered, and I assured her I was. “Some people are too up tight,” said I, to which she nodded and replied, “when I was pregnant, I ate everything!” Anyways, it’s not like I eat it every day. This is only my second time this WHOLE LONG PREGNANCY. I was quite deprived of my delicious sushi, you see. And, oh my goodness, it WAS delicious! Joey and I basked in culinary bliss, reminisced on the past year, and gazed into each other’s eyes, thinking of……

Whoa! Got a little carried away there. Sorry about that.

That’s pretty much our day in a nutshell. I can’t end this post without sharing the amazing deals we stumbled across, however. Ahem. Wool sweater for Joey: $25. Brand new MEXX baby blanket: $5. Three classic literature novels: $35. Spending the day with the love of my life: priceless.

Okay, that was cheesy. Just couldn’t help it.

I leave you with a picture of our super sweet diapers.

Andrea proves, yet again, that she is not perfect

Yesterday was just too ridiculous to not be noteworthy.  I woke up early—6:45, to be exact—with unusual gusto.  7:45 comes around, and I’m falling asleep standing up.  Off to bed I went to sleep for another hour.  I proceeded to follow this pattern for the rest of the day.  Needless to say, I was not very productive.  I felt so bad when Joey came home from work, and all I could do was stare mindlessly while he checked my car’s tire pressure, finished up making chicken stock, and made supper.  In my state of mind, all I saw was Mr. Perfect showing me just how much I had failed to accomplish in a day.  It all led up to a big pity-party for me.  “Why can’t I do anything?  All I do around here is sit around and get fat.  I’m so sorry you have to do all of this.  How can you put up with me?”  Such were my continuous complaints, which Joey endured for quite a while with silent stoicism.  Dripping water will eventually wear down the hardest rock, however, and finally my good-natured husband stated, with a tone bordering severity, “Andrea, you are sick and pregnant!  I don’t hold any of this against you!”  Thus I was silenced. 

The moral of the story:

• I can’t expect myself to do everything I did before pregnancy 
• I have a very attentive, very capable husband who loves me despite all the changes I’m going through
• it’s ok to ask for help and let others take care of things I can’t do!

Stay tuned for further late-pregnancy meltdowns.  

overdue

This blog post, that is.  Right now my life consists of little more than preparing to become a mommy.  Baby could come as soon as 4 weeks from now, and as late as 8.  Am I ready?  I don’t think so.  Is any new mother ever ready?  Again, I don’t think so.  As much research as a woman does, as much educating as she endures, as much reassurance she receives, there’s still the looming reality that a new little person is being brought into existence, and YOU are responsible for this little person.  If I remove all emotion, it seems so simple:  feed her, change her, keep her warm, rested, and happy.  Those are the things I can count on.  What I CAN’T count on is how I will react.  How the baby will react.  How my husband will react.  I am completely blind to the future.  Every day I have to give my fears to God.  How else am I going to survive?  Parenthood is completely foreign to me!  I know the facts, I’ve seen it in action, and I am the product of it, but unless I give up my desire to control all the unknowns, I will fail.  And what’s different about failing NOW is that it doesn’t just affect me—it dramatically will affect my husband and my child!  

If I do this in my own strength, life will be pretty miserable.  Pray for me, that I would do it in God’s strength, not my own. 

where He leads

We were a newly-wed, deeply in love couple just starting out our life together.  Prior to marriage, the most time we had spent together (I'm talking about consecutive days) was about one week.  I hung on to each moment I had with my fiancé jealously and dreamed about the next.  When the day finally came and we were actually man and wife, the best thing of all was being able to spend as much time together as we could ever want.  What we had fought so hard for was finally ours in abundance. 

Life now revolved around us.  Completely.  For the beginning, we were okay with that.  After all, we were newly weds!  We had big things to get a start on, such as setting up our own home, getting comfortable in a new ministry position, and just plain living together. The last thing on our agenda was starting our family.

Ideally, we would wait two or three years before having a baby.  Why waste the last of our youthfulness?  Plus, everyone always seems to say "you'll never be just the two of you after you have a baby, so might as well make it last as long as possible".  Happily, we agreed.

God had different plans for us.

It was only three months into our marriage when we started to wonder about our "plans".  We started to wonder why a feeling of guilt always seemed to follow every instance of "I hope I'm not pregnant!"  We wondered if trusting in our methods of birth-control was revealing a lack of faith in God.  We wondered... and prayed. 

"What would you do if I was actually pregnant?" I would ask my husband.  He never quite knew how to answer that question.  "It would be tough, I suppose, but I know that it would be good" was generally the response he gave.  I would agree, but, silently, I would continue pondering if that was what God wanted for us at this time. 

I never really communicated my thoughts to my husband on this matter, except periodically in the aforementioned question.  The matter was always on my mind, though.  Reluctantly, I started to talk to God about it.  I knew that He would be able to make sense of my confusion.  That's where I left it.

In the spring of last year, the two of us took a little road trip to visit my parents in Saskatchewan.  Throughout the whole trip the issue was laid on my heart.  I couldn't help but allude to the grandchildren my parents would have some day in the future.  I'm pretty sure they had a feeling that something big was about to happen.  Funny, I had that feeling, too.

On our way home, Joey and I got into the topic (for the billionth time).  To my surprise, I found that he had been thinking about it as much as I had in the preceding days.  All of a sudden, we both realized that we had been living without faith that God would start our family in His time.  The Lord completely convicted us, and we felt challenged to do something about our lack of faith.

It was only about two weeks later that we knew I was pregnant.

I am so grateful that God intervened and reminded us that He is sovereign.  I would much rather willingly embrace what God has for me than go, "well, this didn't turn out right".  My Father is good.  I need to rest in His goodness.