Hello! It's morning, and it's absolutely beautiful outside!!! Praise God that He give us such fresh starts.

Jesus Christ

I have been a Christian almost my whole life. I first made a concious decision to follow Jesus when I was four years old. My dad was reading me a Bible story before bed, and it was the story of Adam and Eve. What struck me was how their sin had seperated them from God. Although young, I understood the severity of being seperated from God, and I did not want that. So, I gave my life to Christ. God has been working in my heart constantly ever since.

I cannot explain this relationship I have with God. It's a longing, a feeling, a weeping of the soul that cries out... It does not exist only in my mind. I feel it in my soul. I feel a calling to put aside my foolish, human ideas, and to embrace the All Powerful.

God wants me. He suffered an excruciating death because he wants me. He doesn't need me, really. God will still be God. But He made me so that I may give Him glory. Who am I to think that I have any ownership in this relationship? Like a groom pursues his bride, God has pursued me. He has watched me suffer.... has suffered with me. My pain can not compare to God's. He knows this world does not love Him... He could just destroy it right here and now... but He has mercy.

God has put a calling on my life. And that is to tell the world that they might believe that the Lord Almighty, He is God.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgement, but has passed out of death into life." Jesus himself said these words!!!! Oh, that the world might believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the savior of our souls, that HE IS LOVE.

"I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst." He is the satisfaction of our starvation... the quenching of our thirst! But we must first believe!

"All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out." There is no rejection found in Christ... only love.... but first we must come!

"If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Freedom... knowledge... belief... all in Christ Jesus. The cost: Your life. Your physical, small life on earth. All you are. For Jesus. The author and perfector of our faith!!! Its a small price to pay to the One who created you, the One who suffered for our sins when He himself was sinless, the One that pursues becaues HE LOVES YOU. What does the life committed to God look like? It's like this: Life by faith... no fear in life, but an unquenchable hope and joy. Its love... for everyone. Love flowing from who you are. It's peace. Its complete and total freedom because you are no longer a slave to the petty issues of the world. Yes, they are there, but they no longer define who you are! Yes, the law says you're a sinner, but Christ says you are a child of God!

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."

May the God of Love show you His infinate compassion... joy... peace... patience... FORGIVENESS.

The Divine Dream

This post is kind of a second look on the last one. Yes, when I had that dream, it was horrible. But I am convinced God gave me that dream to warn me of the trial to come.

God is so amazing! He speaks through dreams! There is nothing that God cannot bring himself glory through! I had thought the dream was a nightmare, but it was something more mysterious than a nightmare. It prepared me, it allowed me to feel pain before the actual thing... and I thank God that he found it right to warn me.... because he loves me.

The Despairing Dream

I am in a state of loss right now. I am saddened beyond belief, and I can't fully explain why. I guess it's just a heaviness in my heart.

Last night I had a horrible dream. What was so horrible about it was that it basically gathered all the trials I have had in the last year into one, big, horrible nightmare.

Imagine this. You have tried your best to be honest and commited to a very big, daunting task. Although the conditions surrounding it are questionable at best, your goal is to have integrity. That's all you want. To stand before God and say, "I did this for you!". All I want to hear is "Well done, good and faithful servant." Even though you think there is no possible way you can survive the situation, you stay because you gave them your word. The only way you make it is on God's strenght.

Well, then what happens if your character is struck? When someone lashes out at you, and makes people believe that you're something you're not? What happens when the simple goals you lived by are stolen right from under you? The very people you trusted hate you... and when you try to find out what you did wrong just so that you might be able to fix it, they won't tell you! They don't care enough to even let you try to right your wrong.

It is the most horrible feeling in the world. You do your best to live like Christ would, and all you get is a whole bunch of people who think you're dirt.

That was my dream. There were a few more details, but I don't really want to put them out there. The point is, it was the most horrible dream I've ever had because every time I think about it I cry. And what is so horrible is that I thought I was at peace with that particular situation. I thought things had been righted... and then this dream comes and steals my hope, my joy.

Why do I get such dreams? Why do I have to live in such sorrow? I have never been haunted by a dream like I have by this one. I felt this dream. I could have sworn it was real life. The pain was real.

What I need to do is to trust in God. Maybe there are some things I need to deal with... maybe this is just satan trying to discourage me. But I will not be swept under by letting someone else judge my worth! My worth comes from God.