I am now officially done my first semester of college. I wrote my last exam today and managed to pull off an A-. Oh, I am so glad it's over. I felt so strange after I realized that I had no more work to do... it was almost like I was in shock. I've been like that all day. I'm neither here nor there, and I am definitely not feeling very sociable.
This last week has been one of the most stressful weeks ever! I am never confident that I will do well on any exam--I'm such a worrier! (Just so you know, I despise the term "worry wart". It's disgusting!) Now that the stress is gone, I'm just sad. I'm sad that life is going on and I'm growing up. I want to stay a kid and look forward to summer vacation all year until that antsy, nail-biting moment when you walk out of that school and think, "I'm free!" Unfortunately, I passed that stage a long time ago.
There's a certain concept of freedom that kids are able to understand, but adults never can. I want to spend the rest of my life soaking up the company of those I love, but I can't do that... Maybe I shouldn't be writing this while I'm in the depths of home-sickness!
Do you remember being a child during summer vacation? Falling asleep to the sound of crickets, the gentle wind blowing a cool breeze across your face from the open window, then waking up suddenly in what seems like seconds later from the intruding crash of thunder. Running bare-foot through cold grass, getting dizzy on the merry-go-round, touching the clouds while daddy gives you an "under-duck" on the swing. Nervously clutching your pillow at camp as you peer into the stuffy cabin that you will be your home for a week, pretending that you're "a big kid now" while saying goodbye to mommy, but not being quite sure how you'll cope without her.
Hmmm... there is a certain youthful joy that I miss when I remember the days of my childhood. Now I'm all misty-eyed because I know that I will never get to live them again.
Well, I suppose there is no sense in longing for the days that have passed. 48 hours from now I will be home, enjoying a tiny little piece of time with my family that won't be stolen by work or school or anything of the sort. I will jealously cling to this time that God has given me!
See you soon.
I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH. What a gift you are, so precious.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful HE entrusted you into our care for the time you've just spoken of.
Love you always!
Mom
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteYou can live those moments again by giving such experiences to another person. They might be often hidden among other cares and the stress of daily responsibilities as a parent, but they return in full flower as a grandparent. I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. . . A GRANDPA!!!
Having grandchildren is such a wonderful time. Last summer my wife and I rented a cottage on a lake and invited the entire family up for a week. It was wonderful beyond words. I wept and wept at the memories of the week as it drew to a close. . . We're going again this summer. I commented on your Prince Caspian countdown. . . I have my own July 19th is our first day at the lake.
You express yourself very very well. I enjoy your writing.