My heart is breaking. Breaking because I am a miserable sinner, and I am covered by the blood of Christ. That I can call God my Father is completely of Christ's merit, not my own. I am terrified because I know the difference between being obedient to Christ and "politically correct", and that God has called me to the former. I'm no longer on the verge of fanaticism--I'm swimming in it.
What has happened to the prophets of old? Where are the Elijahs, the Isaiahs, the Jeremiahs, the Hoseas? Does God call people to be prophets today? These witnesses surround me, and I need to throw off the weight of sin, the net of self-righteousness, and the snare of pride. I need to continue on this road that I started down so long ago and endure. God has not gotten smaller as I have gotten bigger, as everything else in my world has. On the contrary, every lesson I learn only reveals the even greater complexities of God.
I am shaky, weak, and wandering. Oh, Jesus, I see You standing on the water, mastering the waves, and I recall all that you have suffered for the sake of a Holy God. Such bitterness you have endured! Such slander! And yet your sacrifice still holds true, and You have been faithful to the end. You are faithful for all eternity. How then have I lost heart, with You as my goal and my crown?
I'm no longer on the verge of fanaticism--I'm swimming in it.
And I'm thankful.
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O God,
show me more of Your holiness.
Show me more of my sinfulness.
Help me to hate sin and to love righteousness as You do.
Grant me a deeper conviction of sin
and a more thorough spirit of repentance.
And make me holy as You are holy.
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