I used to think that the first month with a new baby would be the hardest time (for me) in my children's early development. I'm starting to think that this idea was wrong because, you see, we have officially entered what most label as "the terrible twos". I'm not sure I like that phrase because it's not terrible, it's just terribly hard. Although I may be frustrated and teary because of the new challenges my toddler is presenting, I also would not wish any other stage of development on him. We are experiencing this new phase just like every other parent before us. But, still... I don't think I ever understood how hard it would be until now!
Most of our challenges began a week or so after we introduced Judah to his big boy bed. He slept in it wonderfully for the first few days. Then, without any warning, he was all "I'm going to get out of this bed for no other reason than that I CAN." Needless to say, he has not been impressed with our insistence that he stay in bed when we put him down. Then it becomes a battle of who will give up first. Hooo boy, do I ever have to pray for grace to handle these situations. It's not really that productive to start screaming and crying and flailing right back at my screaming and crying and flailing toddler, is it? Now that he can decide (in theory) when he goes to bed, he's convinced he can decide on other important things, i.e. when he has snack, how many bowls of cheerios he consumes, what surfaces are suitable for colouring on, etc.
Along with this new attitude Judah's been developing has come a bit of a language explosion. He's stringing words together now... but not in sentence (or even mini-sentence) form. Example:
Up? Pants? Bus? Coffee? Uuuuuuuuup?
Or, my favourite, "Sheep? Puppy-horsey-cow?
It's nice that he's trying harder to communicate, but it can also lead to even more frustration when I can't understand what he's saying. He's all "I'm telling you exactly what I want!" and I'm all "But I don't know what you're saying!" Cue tears. And other tantrum-y manifestations.
Like right now. He was on my lap a moment ago, trying to press buttons, whining because I won't let him drink my coffee. So I put him down. Now he is kind of in a tizzy because he's not exactly where he wants to be at this moment in time. How about a compromise? I say to him, "Judah, if you come up here, no pressing buttons." He replies with "No buns." And now he's sitting happily on my lap, playing with a toy while I type this. Which is what he was refusing to do before. Le sigh.
Every day I am discovering anew how desperately I need to cling to Christ. The worshipful Psalms have been of great comfort to me. They help to get me out of the fog of the present circumstances and focus my mind on Him who holds all things in His hands. Worshiping God in the midst of turmoil (although I am very aware that this "turmoil" is nothing like that which those being persecuted for their faith experience) allows me to look at my screaming toddler with love rather than indignation. I need Christ. I need His blood to cover my sins. I need grace to face the day, every day.
I knew I would learn things while being a mother, but I think I underestimated just how eternally valuable these things would be.
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