Christ Never Fails

I came under the conviction of the Holy Spirit today.

My mom and I were heading off to Brandon under rainy skies in pursuit of a banquet/grad outfit for her, and we were engaging in happy conversation, as usual. I like to tell my mom of things happening in my life, including the status of some of my relationships with people, so she can pray about them (she is such a prayer warrior, and I admire her so much!). I told her of a conversation I had recently with a friend, and all of a sudden she asked me where my boldness had gone. I was momentarily stunned--how did she think she had the right to confront me on that, I thought angrily. I was very deffensive at first.... but then the realization of what she said sunk in.

You see, I'm very bold on paper. I'm bold in my blog, I'm bold in school assignments, I'm bold in sunday school. Basically, I'm bold when it's easy to be bold. But when I see a friend slipping into things I don't agree with, I tiptoe around the topic. I guess I'm afraid of offending them. Oh, what a hard realization this was. The fact is that I have been fearing man more than God.

Looking out the window, tears streaming down my face like the rain drifting across the glass, I came to realize what a hypocrite I am. I felt hurt, but that was only because the pride inside of me was recoiling in indignation. What an ugly thing it is! I knew I was being prideful, but, for the first time in weeks, I couldn't justify it. I had no argument, for I had been undone!

I did what I have been taught to do ever since I was just a little girl... and that was to confess my sins and ask forgiveness of God. For what else could I do? I am a wretched person, but it seems like I have just considered that as an inconvenient truth easily pushed aside. I needed God's divine intervention! I couldn't even see where I was failing.

Well, I guess the whole point of this is that I feel free, now that I have had the blinders taken off. I am free to see what I truly am in the flesh, but more importantly I am free to see who I am in Christ. All I can do is praise God for his continual guidance in my life.