This blog post, that is. Right now my life consists of little more than preparing to become a mommy. Baby could come as soon as 4 weeks from now, and as late as 8. Am I ready? I don’t think so. Is any new mother ever ready? Again, I don’t think so. As much research as a woman does, as much educating as she endures, as much reassurance she receives, there’s still the looming reality that a new little person is being brought into existence, and YOU are responsible for this little person. If I remove all emotion, it seems so simple: feed her, change her, keep her warm, rested, and happy. Those are the things I can count on. What I CAN’T count on is how I will react. How the baby will react. How my husband will react. I am completely blind to the future. Every day I have to give my fears to God. How else am I going to survive? Parenthood is completely foreign to me! I know the facts, I’ve seen it in action, and I am the product of it, but unless I give up my desire to control all the unknowns, I will fail. And what’s different about failing NOW is that it doesn’t just affect me—it dramatically will affect my husband and my child!
If I do this in my own strength, life will be pretty miserable. Pray for me, that I would do it in God’s strength, not my own.
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